Toddler night waking - husband’s response

[Marilynrose]

Toddler is going through a few days of waking in the night I think because she has a cold. She just wants to be held upright for a bit and have a few sips of water and will then go back to sleep. I don’t see a problem with this - if an adult has a cold, they may need to get up and blow their nose etc. My husband is getting stroppy about it and choosing now to start saying he’s not getting up with her etc. I’m currently 40 weeks pregnant and really struggling with this. I’m happy to do my share but not all of it so he can just sleep. Surely parenting is 24/7? Tonight and last night he’s shouted at me. I just don’t understand why we’d change how we parent at night right now when there’s a baby due? I don’t need any additional stress. Feeling a bit unsupported and doubting myself… any thoughts anyone?

Yea he’s been to the GP because I told him to book an appointment. He’s having telephone counselling I think. He doesn’t want to take medication.

Don’t allow him (or any man) to shout at you, how fucking dare he. If he can’t handle his choice to have a kid, he needs to stop impregnating you and behaving abusively.

Aw he ‘doesn’t want to take medication’? Well I’m sure you don’t want to be treated like shit and have your kid live in a house with an angry, shouting man, so he needs to make a plan on how not to be a piece of shit.

He doesn’t want to take medication. so what's his plan then so change? Because shouting at you when you're 40 weeks and refusing the parent the DC you already have is abusive.

But OP may be able to sleep in the day if they have a toddler or toddler might not nap, might only nap on the school run etc. and will soon be getting up with a baby so she should exhaust herself more now because it doesn't matter if she's tired?? but then I'm used to doing all wake ups with my baby Why isn't your oh doing his share?

I nearly passed out the other day from tiredness due to two toddlers and their ducking sleep and a 6 yo who wakes up at pre 6. If I'd been heavily pregnant I'd expect DH to be stepping up, not letting me put me and baby at risk

*to change

I don’t think he thinks it’s him who needs to change. He doesn’t like my desire to parent gently. I wouldn’t leave a toddler with a cold to cry in the night - he would.