Dinner on a school night - help!

[Optimi1st]

We're having trouble getting our DSs (7 and 5) to eat at dinner time on a school night.

Whenever they get out of school at 3.30 they're starving, of course, so they have a sandwich or snack before whatever it is they do next (Scouts, football, playdate etc). If the snack isn't big enough they beg for more.

We usually have dinner around 5.30 and they just don't seem hungry. They nearly always leave full or half-eaten plates on the table and then of course there's a lot of whining after bedtime at 7.30/8 about how hungry they are.

Is this normal? It's driving my wife crazy that they keep rejecting her cooking, and we can't refuse snacks after school without a full hunger meltdown ensuing.

Should we be eating later? Giving smaller snacks? Help!

To me, it means the snack after school is too big/filling if they're not hungry for tea.
Do they really have a whole sandwich for a snack?
That's too much if they're not hungry for tea
Whatever you're giving them after school is too filling if they're not hungry for tea

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]Can they have their dinner when they get home and a snack at 5.30?[/quote]
This. You heat yours up later.

Slow cooker meal - portion after school for kids. You eat later. If they’re hungry when you’re eating, they can have seconds with you, or have some fruit, and sit with you.

In this house the bedtime hunger is often actually overtiredness. I cheerily say we'll have lovey big bowls of porridge for breakfast and get them off to sleep. If you think they are genuinely hungry, bring bedtime a bit earlier .

I think your dinner time is just too early, so you just need to give them something later, if not actual dinner, then a sandwich or toast or porridge or something.

Mine are the same age. Home from school at 3. Lots of snacks. We eat dinner at 7.

More filling breakfast and lunch would be my first step, then they wouldn't be as hungry immediately after school. That said, is a light dinner and a snack before bed really so bad?

Dinner that's pre-cooked, and just needs dishing up as soon as through the door was how we survived. Things like lasagne, pasta bake, sausage casserole etc Slow cooker is your friend. A thick soup is also a good one, you can get the chunky thermos flasks to keep it warm to be eaten tween school and activity too.

5.30 seems very early for dinner. Are you and your wife not starving by bedtime too? Mine are a bit older now but I don't think we ever ate much before 6.30.

Dinner straight from school, then snack supper later on.

If they have had a good breakfast, snack, lunch then a sandwich with other bits, I really wouldn't want Tea at that time.
Surely, if sometimes the sandwich straight from school is not enough and they are still hungry, give them their tea then.

I agree they need after-school snacks, mine are starving at that time. But then we eat at 6/6.30.
Just eat later?

Main meal after school and then snack before bedtime.

Why can't you just eat later? Seems the obvious and easy solution.

They have the main evening meal after school and then dessert with you at 6:30

At that age i always served dinner as soon as they got home....I'd cook it before I did the school run. Otherwise, as you're finding, they snack endlessly then don't eat their dinner

Cut back on the snack. My DC are 4 and 6 also starving after school. They also have dinner at 5.30 and also wouldn't eat it if they had a sandwich at 3.30. They have a small snack, piece of fruit , a few baby rice cakes, a biscuit. They do t have huge portions of dinner as they both have a cooked lunch at school.

Make the snacks much smaller. So a piece of fruit and nothing else till dinner. We have exactly the same schedule as you but give a small snack like a piece of fruit or a couple of biscuits. Then if they want more or say they are starving the answer is that they must wait till dinner. This seems to work and the dinners are mostly eaten.

Thank you for your answers, everyone. Lots of advice to try so plenty of reasons to be optimistic!

I find I just cook earlier. I can understand you’re desire to eat together as a family but personally I wouldn’t be rigid about that. Why not make sure that happens at the weekend but during the week day just make their dinner for 4.30-5pm so they’re eating well and have your adult meal later.

I also value eating together. I would do a smaller snack and just redirect when they fuss for more. A sandwich is a meal and not a snack to me but it probably depends on how big the sandwich is!

I'm back doing this again with reception age kid . After years of tryjng things with kids who are older now, I settled for a light snack (eg brioche and piece of fruit) and tea as close to 5pm as possible. That also works for the teenagers who come in starving. And then older kids have toast / snack before bed. If they eat too much after school you never get a proper meal into them whatever time in my experience, as if too late they are knackered. I join in and eat whenever I feel like it, or eat later with partner, and we always eat together at weekend.

I wouldn’t be able to eat a full dinner two hours after eating a sandwich either. I used to give my kids their dinner as soon as they got home from school. And then they could have a bread/cereal based snack before bed if they wanted. School holidays and weekends we ate together as a family.

If they have school dinner, do they need another hot meal? Maybe just some veg/fruit with the sandwhiches?