Tell me your toddler bedtime routines

[Alice4563]

My daughter used to go to sleep really quickly at bedtime..and we’d done the same routine pretty much from the first 3 months or so. She’s now 22 months and taking 1 hour+ to go to sleep every night for months. I’ve experimented with different bedtimes but it takes her an hour whether it’s 7pm or 9pm bedtime! I think she’s struggling to wind down and switch off as she’s getting older.

Currently we do:
Dinner
Bit of playing with toys and chasing / tickling etc after dinner which may be too stimulating!
Bath or shower which she used to love but now either hates or gets really excited (either way could be too stimulating)
Brush teeth
Pajamas / cream / nappy
Book in bed
Bottle of milk
1 hour plus of her tucking her teddies into bed, sitting up, laying down, sitting up, laying down etc!

I’ve recently been told you’re not meant to give milk without brushing teeth after so need to switch things up anyway...any advice? I’ve heard giving bottle or cup downstairs before bed is better and maybe we get rid of evening bath and do in the morning if it’s stressing her?

I’m not one for sleep training so I do wait with her while she sleeps..it never used to be a problem though.

After bath we watch in the night garden with milk, it's nice, nonsensical and gentle and lulling, then teeth, book and bed.

My DD is a bit younger at 18 months but after dinner we usually walk the dog so she gets a bit of fresh air then we come home and do bath, milk, a couple of books, a cuddle, teeth then bed.

Does she actually need you to stay with her? It sounds like she's having a lovely time playing in her bed, which is fine, that's how she's winding down. The problem is you're sat there waiting. I'd work on that first.

Bedtime routine here:

Bath
Dry, PJ's etc.
Milk and stories (about 10/15 minutes)
Teeth
Bed, tuck in and kiss goodnight, out the door within a minute.

@NuffSaidSam yeah she cries if I try to leave before she’s fully asleep but will self settle if she wakes up later on. She’s been going through a big separation anxiety phase so I think some of it is her wanting one on one time with me, I just shush and rub her back and keep asking her to lay down etc so try to make it not particularly fun / engaging! It’s just been going on for ages and gets very boring sat in the dark! She used to nuzzle into my arm turn over and sleep within 10 mins but just seems wired at the moment

My Ds is 3 he does teeth, story and a cuddle (no messing or ill leave its cuddle and sleep time, he usually falls asleep). If he's not asleep after a little while I tell him I'm going for shower/tea etc and will be back in a bit he's always asleep when I check in later.

Ps I'd have a couple of really active days tire her out. Swimming always makes mine tired!

Don't worry about it. It'll change over the next few months. Try to be consistent if you can but don't stress, just get through it!

We do tea (or supper of nursery day) then shower, pjs, teeth, story and bed with both of them and they are out like a light. No play downstairs after tea / supper as seems to make them hyper (they can play in their rooms whilst getting the other ready)

It’s kiss / cuddle / goodnight and walk out the room though, I don’t stay with them. I am up abs down though sorting washing etc so as their doors stay open they see / hear me moving around

• Dinner
• Books for quarter of an hour
• Bath and teeth
• Say goodnight to multiple teddies and pictures on the wall
• Sleepy-time song with the light off
• Second sleepy time song while retreating from the room and standing outside the door
• Third sleepy time song outside the door if necessary

Does she nap? If so, what time and for how long? Maybe she's just not tired at bedtime.

20 month old.

• Dinner
• Play (could be chase, football, stickers, drawing or if he's really tied straight upstairs)
• Bath/shower/flannel wash (depending on how tired he is/what mood he's in)
• Story/stories, teeth and sit on the potty in our room
• Put in his cot in his room and left to settle himself to sleep

@PeacefulInTheDeep

Does she nap? If so, what time and for how long? Maybe she's just not tired at bedtime.

Was just coming on to ask about naps, DS nearly 4 now was like this between 2 and 3yrs before he completely dropped his nap, it was hard work. I had to make sure we had 5 hours awake post nap pre bed or there would be much bouncing around at bed time. Shower or bath made him wild too. He dropped his nap at 3 now it's tea, bath, story in bed then sleep very quickly. He likes me to sit with him but it's just ten mins or so. Like everything, I think is a phase, gearing up to drop their final nap. It'll pass...

@NuffSaidSam

Does she actually need you to stay with her? It sounds like she's having a lovely time playing in her bed, which is fine, that's how she's winding down. The problem is you're sat there waiting. I'd work on that first.

Bedtime routine here:

Bath
Dry, PJ's etc.
Milk and stories (about 10/15 minutes)
Teeth
Bed, tuck in and kiss goodnight, out the door within a minute.

I would second this. At that age my little girl would be in bed sometimes for quite a while just singing to herself and playing with her teddies. I actually went on mumsnet to see if I was wrong to leave her on her own, but I can see that she needed it to wind down and make sense of the day. It’s also super lovely to listen to on the monitor.

At that age (she’d dropped the nap by then) it was watch something gentle with Daddy while I get stuff ready, the bath with story, teeth, milk and bed. I don’t brush after milk as my old uni flatmate is a dentist and said it brushes the sugars into their teeth.

Now DD2 is here DD1 stays downstairs while I bath and put the baby to bed, then comes up for bath/story/teeth, then into pjs and bed. I leave a cup of water on her bedside table and she can have it if she needs it. She normally thinks of some excuse to keep me there but I just say night night, sleep time now.

Once the baby can sit up I’ll probably bath them both together, put DD1’s dressing gown on and let her play in her room while I put DD2 to bed. They get MUCH more flexible about bedtime routines once they can understand reasoning.

Ds is 18 months. He did go to sleep alone a few months, then was ill and has gone back to us sitting with him until he’s asleep.

He has no milk at bedtime any more

Dinner - 6-7pm
Play time - until about 7.30/7.45pm

Upstairs, into dimmed bedroom, teeth, nappy and pjs, into sleeping bag. 1-2 short stories on our lap in chair. Into cot. Has teddy comforter thing in cot. Dh or I then just sit on chair reading kindle or phone until he falls asleep ( he likes the dimmed light from them so he can see us, and we don’t mind sitting then as entertained)

We aim to put him in cot by around 8pm and he takes 15-30 mins on average to fall asleep. He has 1-2hr nap after lunch, and is awake by 6am usually.

My DS is quite a bit younger, but has also started taking a bit longer to get comfy and fall asleep.

I'm debating if play after dinner will tire him out or stimulate, and should just do dinner then bath. Sometimes we watch tik tak then bath.

Two year old. Bath, TV, teeth, 2 books, bed. We put him down awake and walk out. We give short shrift to any protest which means he very rarely bothers.

My DD (22 months):
5:30 - 6:00 Dinner

An hour of play to burn off her last burst of energy or chill and watch CBeebies.
4oz of milk around 6:45

7:00 bath, includes teeth brushing

7:30 out of bath, dried & pjs on. Straight into her bedroom for a story in the rocking chair, 5-10mins cuddle then down in her cot.

Around 8:00 usually asleep

Usually sleeps until 6:30am - 7:00am

Forgot to add, we only go back in if she is properly crying & sitting up, rather than the tired whinge/cry she sometimes does when she's shattered

Mine had a breastfeed at bedtime till about 14 months. After that they were offered cow's milk in a cup but it was after dinner, still downstairs and before any of the bedtime stuff.

I would try to move that last milk to earlier to stop that being at least one part of the routine that stretches it out.