Mum guilt! Feeling like a rubbish mum today.

[MrsCremuel]

My toddler and his dad have gone off to the zoo without me. I’ve had a horrible night with my 4 week old. He will not lie flat and so was up from 2am holding him in various positions. Think I have mastitis - sore red boob, banging headache and the chills. Sitting at home trying to catch up on sleep but poor newborn DS2 not settling so feels like a lost cause.

Feel like I’ve been very absent from toddler this last week but lack of sleep and now feeling totally rubbish have overwhelmed me today. Think DS2 has silent reflux but no one takes me seriously so just feel stuck in a cycle of endless nights with no sleep and a crying baby.

Being a mum is hard! Sorry I’m wallowing a bit!

The reflux is better if their head is above stomach at all times - use a towel under the mattress. The mussel at the top of their stomach may not close properly causing acid reflux - so dry when they are out down or lie flat! Use a pillow when changing nappies.

How about having a day off? Leaving everything other than feeding the baby and staying in bed.

It sounds as if you are quite unwell. If it is mastitis you may well need antibiotics. Contact your GP ASAP.
You are doing your best in very difficult circumstances, it is hard enough looking after a newborn baby, but with no sleep and and an infection anyone would struggle. You are not a rubbish mum, just an unwell one.
Stay in bed, drink lots of water, take painkillers and sleep when the baby sleeps.
Is there someone who could come over to look after you?

You’re not a rubbish mum at all! You’re little one will have a great time at the zoo with his dad, it’s good for them to have one on one time. I wouldn’t really expect any mum to have the energy to have a whole day out at the zoo 4 weeks after giving birth nevermind when you’re not sleeping and have possible mastitis. Definitely give your GP a ring to get that sorted. And spend the day in bed like PP has suggested, as long as baby is fed and changed, there’s no shame in having a lazy day! I’ve been doing it for 4 months 😁

If you have mastitis you will need antibiotics. I'd call your GP urgently because it can make you feel really awful, and on top of the exhaustion you will find it harder.

You're not a badd mum. You're a mum of a newborn who is also sick. Once you've got your antibiotics, and your DH and toddler are back, try to get some sleep if you can so that you can engage more with the older one. You are doing fine - it's a tough time.

Definitely ring the GP. If the baby isn’t nursing much from the affected side then you will need to pump to help clear the infection.

Have you tried using the flipple technique to get a deeper latch? It might help with the reflux and prevent future bouts of mastitis.