Encouraging sport despite not being the best

[Mumnavigation]

Hey, so I have a question.

My DS age 11 loves sport. He enjoys being part of team activities and enjoys exercise and being active. However he isn’t naturally gifted in sport. He’s super academic that’s where his strength is but he still loves to get involved. He loves loves football and wants to take part. But he isn’t the best by a long shot and he knows that himself but still goes out there and gives it his all and usually enjoys it.
He’s at an after school club run by school atm that is supposed to be aimed at a general kick about nothing competitive etc.
He’s recently come home upset because he feels like he doesn’t get a look in ( the school’s 6 football team members also join this kick about along with 5 other adults) theres 24 kids in total and the rest of the kids basically spend the hour chasing the adults and the football team members around. He’s so deflated.
I’m not saying he should be just given the ball sport is still a sport and he does have to get himself in there etc.
Do I let him just give up ? He doesn’t want to he enjoys playing and is aware he isn’t great but enjoys it anyway up until this point.

But I don’t want him to start hating sport just because he isn’t the best. I’ve been there I felt stupid still do when taking part as I’m not naturally gifted with any sports either so I don’t do it. Which I’m sure impacts my health.

We’ve tried many sports with him running, swimming, gymnastics , cricket and his efforts always there but again he just will never will be the fastest or the skilled one. So far he knows it’s not his strength and he’s usually ok with that but I’m worried he’ll begin to give up on the wanting to be active and will see exercise as a chore. I’d like him to have a healthy relationship to exercise and enjoy it.
I think that is a life skill in itself.

He would like to play football more often but all after school/ weekend clubs are competitive and for kids with that talent.

I can’t find a club or something where those kids who arnt the next football super stars but just enjoy playing for playings sake. Is there even such a thing?
His friends arnt into football so I can’t even arrange for him to have a kick about with them, and it isn’t the same with just his Dad or me.

It’d be a shame for him to loose the genuine love and excitement he has for sport activities and the willing to go out and give a go while knowing he isn’t the best. Again something I think shows a lot of grit I don’t think I could 🤷🏻‍♀️

Any advise would be really appreciated or any knowledge of any clubs etc.

Many thanks for sticking with a huge long post xx

The kick about session doesn't seem like a good fit. Why can't you find him a lower level team? In most areas there can be up to about 10 divisions per age group so lots of scope for finding a team suitable to his ability. Try to look on Facebook for the pves where clubs advertise for players. Ours is Grassroots North East so maybe try Grassroots (Whatever your location is)

I sympathise but I think the club you want is unattainable - kids who are good at football and love the game will gravitate towards a opportunity to play. What do you do then, start saying "no, you're not shit enough to play"? Not that I'm calling your son shit - I'm sure he isn't.

Is it definitely football he wants to play or would he try any sport? I'm thinking something like tag rugby or orienteering? Or maybe if he expands his social circle - something like Scouts - he might find boys like him who just want a kick about.

Although the pp is right, division football is possible. But then it is competitive, even if at a low level. If that's what he wants, it sounds perfect.

@Hellocatshome

The kick about session doesn't seem like a good fit. Why can't you find him a lower level team? In most areas there can be up to about 10 divisions per age group so lots of scope for finding a team suitable to his ability. Try to look on Facebook for the pves where clubs advertise for players. Ours is Grassroots North East so maybe try Grassroots (Whatever your location is)

Thank you, I’ll have a look into that thanks for the advise! X

Has he got a group of friends who enjoy playing? Cant you book the 5 a side pitched at your local leisure centre for him and his friends to play a game once a week?
Or just at the park

I loved football as a tween/teen but we didnt have a girls team in my town back then. We just played with 20 or so of us in the park every week.

@AosSi

I sympathise but I think the club you want is unattainable - kids who are good at football and love the game will gravitate towards a opportunity to play. What do you do then, start saying "no, you're not shit enough to play"? Not that I'm calling your son shit - I'm sure he isn't.

Is it definitely football he wants to play or would he try any sport? I'm thinking something like tag rugby or orienteering? Or maybe if he expands his social circle - something like Scouts - he might find boys like him who just want a kick about.

I totally get what you mean. I meant more if a general kick around group. Or actual basic coaching even but most kids by his age are quite good and my Ds isn’t. He’d love to play competitively he’s actually a very competitive person at heart. But I feel he’s not good enough to make a team despite his best efforts. We’ve tried to find ” his “ sport and he’s a good runner ( but again not good enough for the local running clubs yet) but he just has a genuine love for football and team sports which would be a shame for him to give up on. I’m just not wanting him to give up on sport in general because he isn’t a sporty kid it’s just not something he’s gifted at despite having a genuine passion and over the years we’ve tried many things but his 6 year old sister throws / catches better he reeeally isn’t sporty.

Half the love of exercise is enjoying what you do and he enjoys it it’s just a shame there’s no room for someone like him which is a feeling he’s starting to get towards sports.
And this is something that we find no matter what sport it is.

He wants to but there’s no space for someone who isn’t good.

Which I totally get I’m not into snowflake generation lol the nature of sports are competitivness at times. However looking forwards towards his adult life and his attitude towards exercise I don’t want him to end up hating exercise because he isn’t great. For me everyone has the right to enjoy sport and it’s all we hear about in the news let’s get our kids active. Childhood obesity crisis get kids moving etc and I have a perfectly willing child who wants to throw himself in there and would spend hours playing sport given the opportunity however isn’t really talented at all but then there seems to be no room for that anywhere.

Have a ring around/email local clubs or ask on local fb page. Dd1 loves football too but is definitely not a future England star. She's in a training squad rather than a competitive squad at her club. Very much open to everyone, lovely atmosphere.
If he's not enjoying the school club which frankly sounds shit why are adults playing?? then I would let him stop. Life's too short.
Or teach him to play in goal - clubs always need goalkeepers!