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Parenting

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Original poster

Six year old DS - is it just mine that's a complete nightmare?

19 replies

clutteredup · 12/12/2007 13:52

My Ds is a complete nightmare at the moment, he's rude, disobedient and won't listen to a word I say. I've resorted to shouting at him as its the only way he will do as I ask. If I ask nicely several times I get no response. As a result his 4yo sister is also ignoring me as she no longer sees much point in doing what she's told as he never does. I feel like the world's worst parent at the moment. DD2 has not slept through the night for some weeks now so I am exhausted and so am not coping well. Its a nightmare to get to school in the mornings and I just wish Ds would just be a bit less unhelpful. I have tried the naughty step but we run out of time in the mornings the amount of time he spends on it, I have tried deducting pocket money, he got no pocket money at all last week, I have tried to get him to earn it but that didn't work either,.......its a week till the end of term, I have so much to do and I can't even start to think what the holidays are going to be like ...............help.

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Original poster

clutteredup · 12/12/2007 14:02

OK so it is just be being a bad parent then.

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icanneverhavetoomanybaubles · 12/12/2007 14:08

You and me both. Made my self hoarse yelling at DS2 (6)last night.

I know its not the model mother way of doing things but he pooed in the bath fgs. Acted like I'd asked him to cut of his own legs when told to go and get out of his school uniform, made vomiting noises at what I had cooked for tea and completely ignored me with everything else.

AAAAHHHHHH

icanneverhavetoomanybaubles · 12/12/2007 14:09

off his own legs

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NAB3littlemonkeys · 12/12/2007 14:09

I have one too.

Must be their age.

FioFio · 12/12/2007 14:11

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icanneverhavetoomanybaubles · 12/12/2007 14:15

mine is worse then too but nothing I do seems to make him care one little bit about anything.

When asked to do anything ( eg empty lunch box ) spends 15 times as long as the job would take rolling around the floor like he is in agony.

FioFio · 12/12/2007 14:35

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littleboo · 12/12/2007 14:37

Mine is very hard work (now 8- so that doesn't sound promising for the future, sorry)

Original poster

clutteredup · 12/12/2007 17:23

Thank you, i was hoping for some curative advice but then again knowing that everyone elses DSs are little s*s too does help I got to school this pm and was told that yesterday he had said 'no' when told to eat his sandwiches and then thrown them across the room. What's worse is that we have a deal whereby if he eats his ham sandwiches he gets jam sandwiches the nes=xt day. He told me last night he had eated all his sandwiches, I saw his lunchbox was empty, congratualted him and duly gave him 4 marmalade sandwiches today. I was so angry, I screamed at him (I did wait till we were in the car, managed to control myself in the playground, just) I have now stopped his pocket money and banned all TV and computer till further notice. He is partially contrite but not actually doing what he is asked - I was hoping he'd grow out of this phase but littleboo you haven't offered hope there - anyone suggest a solution other than sending them away

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Original poster

clutteredup · 12/12/2007 17:29

eaten

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Nat1H · 12/12/2007 20:54

Cut your kids a bit of slack fgs! they are mega excited with Christmas coming up, and they are all tired too as they have had a long term at school. Try to stop shouting and breath deeply whilst counting to 10 (very hard, I know). I find that if I start a cycle of shouting/banning activities etc, the behaviour gets worse and worse - especially towards the end of term time. Don't worry - it will all calm down in time for Christmas!!

NAB3littlemonkeys · 13/12/2007 10:45

Christmas is so not the reason for some of these children's behaviour (if mine is anything to go by)

serinsingingcarols · 13/12/2007 20:58

Agree with you Nat1H, my kids are exhausted with all the plays, carol concerts and panto's that they are participring in. In the summer they come in from school and we either go for a walk to the park or out on their bikes or even into the paddling pool.
At the moment they come home and its dark already, where's the fun in that?

Don't be afraid of the Christmas hols, bet he chills out straight away. At the very least he will get new toys that should keep him amused for a while .

Clutteredup, what about telling him what a fab boy he is and how much you love him to bits. Then buy a bag of chocolate coins and give him one when he does something good. I work with this age group and he sounds like any other tired little 6 year old to me.

He's not perfect, you're not perfect, NON of us are perfect!! but he's not a little s..t either. He's gorgeous and here's a hug for you both.

kidsrusanta · 13/12/2007 21:21

my ds(6) was bad at the begining of the year and got better about june until now. this last week has been unbearable (since i mentioned how good he has been)
i have a year planner on the wall in his room with stars on good days and big x's on bad days. if he goes a whole month without 5x's he gets a treat eg:dayout,cinema,sleep over etc.
it also gives you an idea of when the behaviour is at its worse (usually begining and end of month with ds).
tonight was a fight to get him to bed as he had school xmas party and ate loads of choc why do parents send in so much crap!
we sent in home made blueberry muffins and fruit juice.
do you all have problems with volume too?

Original poster

clutteredup · 14/12/2007 21:38

OK I was over the top, just feeling frustrated and depressed. I do tell him ilove him,daily, I would never let him think I thought what I said previously. I know he's tired , so am I. I know I'm a bad mummy but I'm don't tell him I think he's a little s@*@t even if I do feel it sometimes. It was a bad day made worse, sorry

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ChipButty · 14/12/2007 21:45

You are not a bad Mummy. Your son sounds like he's tired to me. Try to 'catch him being good' - praise really does work like magic dust. Equally, try praising his sister too. You will soon have them competing for your praise. (I know it's not easy but it does work). Best wishes xx

crayon · 14/12/2007 21:46

I think if you ask his friends' parents you will find it's a 6 year old thing. I was amazed when I asked around that everyone seems to be going through this at the moment - boys & girls. Apparently a book has been published about 6 year olds - I think I need to get it!

tortoiseSHELL · 14/12/2007 21:48

Ds1 alternates atm between being absolutely scrummily gorgeous, and ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS. I sometimes don't know where this monster has come from. He is 6 too, it's terrible. But his good moments make up for the bad. Dd is 4 as well, she is probably naughtier if that is possible

cluckiemama · 14/12/2007 22:20

I think by taking away all his favourite things, you have given him no reason to be good. Try getting up tomorrow morning with a fresh outlook, forget about all past bad behaviour and try and get him involved with your chores, making him feel really grown up for helping you, then if he does help think of a good reward, like playing a game together or trip to the park. If his behaviour is still bad be consistent with naughty step but try and keep it light and happy after he's done his time on it

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