15 month old won't play by himself

[sunsandwaves]

Help.,, my 15 month old will not play by himself at all, to be honest he hardly ever plays with his toys even when I'm there. He just wants to be held 24/7. He is soooooo attached to me, cry's when I leave a room, even with his dad. Is there anything I can do to help this?

he hardly ever plays with his toys even when I'm there

Do you actually play with the toys with him?

I'd say he's probably too young to play by himself.

How is he if you get toys out and play with him?

Clingy behaviours are pretty normal , it shows he's attached to you as his main caregiver so if you go out of sight he doesn't understand yet that you will be back. The good thing is he will get better as he matures and he will understand that "out of sight" doesn't mean "gone forever".

This is normal IME. They don’t play by themselves till quite a bit older.

My five year old has only just started playing by herself.
Started in march. She was 5 in February.
Ime they often don't play alone

Have you tried playing with something like stacking cups and waiting for him to be involved, then build it one last time and slip away? But yes as others say quite normal just hard to do things! I find once I'm out of sight it's better so get her engaged in a safe place then sneak away to do something

That's because he's 15 months. Maybe once he's a bit older. Perhaphs stimulation with other children might be a way to give you a break and distract him

@HazelandChacha

he hardly ever plays with his toys even when I'm there

Do you actually play with the toys with him?

Yes I do always sit and try and play with him

Because he's 15 months....

It's normal. The only playing DS did at that stage was emptying cupboards.

My 7 year old still doesn’t really play by himself it’s bloody annoying. He prefers to follow me around the house chatting rubbish and getting in my way.

My 6 yr old has only just started to play alone and for very short bursts at that!

At 15 months?! I couldn't even leave the room briefly!

I think you need to lower your expectations

@WholeClassKeptIn

Because he's 15 months....

I don't necessarily think that's true at all, my sisters 2 boys would play by themselves for a little while by this age. And alot of my friends kids do too. I'm obviously not expecting him to play alone for a long period of time I just mean for even 2 minutes

At that age, I would have had to set my DD up with something to do to get a few minutes of her entertaining herself. A towel on the ground and give her a basin of water with a few cups, whisk etc (supervised her of course). I'd use brightly coloured tape to stick toys and things on the table legs and let her pull them off. A sheet of stickers to put on a cardboard box. Blobs of paint in a sealed freezer bag for her to poke at. The attention span was just not there unless it was something novel and messy and generally I'd literally get 5 mins out of it.

She'll play by herself for 15/20 min bursts in the last 6 months I'd say or flick through a picture book by herself for a few mins, she's just gone 3.

Hmm, I’m not sure any 15 month old can truly ‘play’ at all - independently or with a parent. They don’t have the imagination or cognition. Most will be interested in or distracted by a toy or book or tv in the presence of their parents. How long for will highly depend on the temperament of the child. I’d say it’s pretty rare for a 15 month old to happily do these things independently for any length of time.

If it’s any consolation, my DS (17 months) has zero capacity for being on his own - he too loves bring carried around, looking at and talking about things. The world is so much more interesting than toys, I suppose.

They don't play by themselves at that age.

If they want to play with Duplo, it means you need to play with Duplo. If they want to do crayons or paint it means you need to do crayons or paint. If they want to play with random bits of stuff that rolls around all over the carpet, it means you need to as well. Otherwise they lose all interest.

It's the joy of parenting.

Oh OP, that sounds really hard. I don’t quite understand why so many PPs are saying that’s normal, as my 8 month old will happily play by herself for up to 10-15 minutes, while I get some jobs done, so I can imagine not being able to leave your boy alone for even 2 minutes must be really tough. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice on how to help, but I just wanted to send some sympathy and acknowledge what your saying as it sounds hard. Hopefully someone with some better experience of a DC your sons age will be along to help, as I don’t think you’re asking much to be able to leave him to play for a short time

@canyoutoleratethis

Oh OP, that sounds really hard. I don’t quite understand why so many PPs are saying that’s normal, as my 8 month old will happily play by herself for up to 10-15 minutes, while I get some jobs done, so I can imagine not being able to leave your boy alone for even 2 minutes must be really tough. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice on how to help, but I just wanted to send some sympathy and acknowledge what your saying as it sounds hard. Hopefully someone with some better experience of a DC your sons age will be along to help, as I don’t think you’re asking much to be able to leave him to play for a short time

Thank you, felt like I was going mad then as most of my friends kids will entertain themselves for 5 mins or more. Just the constant wanting to be help is so hard. Don't get me wrong I'll miss it when his older I know but would just be nice to pack the dishwasher 😂 thank you for you post tho xx

My daughter was never interested in toys - more with people. When she got older she got into drawing.
My son was completely different and played by himself. Each child is different.
Yours is still very young

I agree with Bluey18, the only time I get any independent play out of my 15 month old is by introducing something he hasn’t seen for a while. I will play with him for 10 minutes, then get a basket out with a few “new” toys in, he will then sometimes sit and take stuff out for up to 10 minutes. But separation anxiety seems to come and go and that will affect independent play a lot. The other thing we do is have some relaxed music on - seems to create a kind of “pottering about” vibe and he is more likely to entertain himself if me & my three year old are also quietly getting on with stuff. Also finally a tip I got from an account called “Playful_den” is never interrupt them when they are independently playing, it breaks them out of the “flow” state and it is hard for them to resume playing the same after that . This sounds so basic but I actually notice that I do interrupt them a lot if I don’t catch myself.

My LO is 15 months and happily potters around between her toys. She had a mega blocks table, kitchen and basket of books and puzzles in the kitchen, and a push along, sorting basket and pram with toys in in the living room. So she bops along between them all playing and I go around doing my cooking/cleaning/food prep. She will go between rooms upstairs too as I have a small basket of toys in each room

My oldest was like this, and sort of still is tbh. So high maintenance. I had to be playing with him ALWAYS until he was solidly 3 and started playing with other kids for a bit, and even now he'll ditch his friends to make me play hide and seek with him. Sigh.

He'll grow out of it. They all do. My second born was much better at it. Secondborns tend to be for lack of choice.

My DD was amazing at playing by herself.
DS has just turned 5 and has always been terrible at it, he's only just really started to play with toys in the last 6 months. It's hard work so I sympathise!
Have you tried activities like playdoh, kinetic sand, Duplo - I always found my DS would engage with those type of things for longer than actual toys.

My 8 year won't bloody play by himself 15 months is still so little and they don't really know what to do at that age. Mine used to like taking things out of cupboards, unravelling toilet roll and sticking his fingers in tiny holes. Normal toys were no fun at all apparently!

Hang in there, DD1 is 2.11 and about six months ago reached the delightful stage where we could visit a friend with the same aged child and they would both disappear off and play upstairs, only returning for snacks and drinks.

DD2 then came along, but I had three blissful months of sitting down and having a chat in peace.

I firmly believe that other children and different houses are the key!