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Parenting

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Siblings fighting all the time

9 replies

Sarah62 · 02/11/2021 20:56

Is it normal for siblings to fight all the time? It’s absolutely constant. How do I stop this? They’ve started hitting each other (not hard) but it’s awful. We had a day out at the weekend and they were constantly whacking each other with their coats and pushing each other. Nothing I did or said made any difference.

Lately they’ve started parenting each other so for example they’ll scream ‘don’t run in the car park!’ at the top of their lungs or ‘we’re going out your coat on’. It’s worse than it sounds, everything is shouted or screamed in an aggressive tone. This isn’t usually how we speak to them (unless we’ve already told them 100 times to stop hitting each other etc).

Meanwhile DS3 is very polite, placid, calm. Sits at the table nicely eating breakfast, says please and thank you. The complete opposite of the other two who are 9 and 7 years old. Is just an age thing??

What do I do?????

I’ve threatened to stop their activities eg football but it makes no difference (and frankly it’s more of a pain for me because we then have to spend more time listening to the fighting at home). I’ve talked to them about it. Asked them to stop (and when they’ve calmed down talked to them again), also tried to separate them but it’s not always possible.

Is this normal?? It’s generally the 9 year old trying to wind everyone up. He doesn’t listen and will keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over.

Help! I’m at my wits end

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Sarah62 · 02/11/2021 20:57

Should say I’m an only child so I don’t really have any idea how to handle this.

I see other kids walking nicely to school and playing nicely in the park. Why can’t mine??

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Plutonium7000 · 02/11/2021 21:26

I have the same issue with my boys and drives me up the wall. I find they are better when they've had some time apart but other than that I'm just following for the advice!

Also, do you suspect that either of them had and special needs? My DS9 constantly niggles and winds his brother up, shouts at him etc but he is ASD which I recently realised was causing a lot of the issues.

Sarah62 · 02/11/2021 22:24

Don’t think there’s any special needs. I possibly thought the 9 year old had ADHD traits - over enthusiastic, full of beans, short attention span but school have said nothing out of the ordinary going on.

I should say there’s times when the kids are all brilliant and do get oh really well. They can be polite, loving and fun to be around but the times when they are not are just awful

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Embracelife · 02/11/2021 22:26

Do more sports not less

Sarah62 · 03/11/2021 07:07

we do a lot of sports maybe 5 hours a week (not including what they do at school)

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wonderbegone · 03/11/2021 07:11

Mine argue all the time and have to be separated into different rooms if I'm not in the same room as them.

KangarooSally · 03/11/2021 09:01

Try reading Siblings Without Rivalry.

Being meaner can also help - if they feel like you're unfair and band together against you that can help them to bond over a common purpose

stairgates · 03/11/2021 09:16

My 9 year old is the same here, he does things like turns the others lights and plugs off 'just as a joke'. He cannot leave the others alaone, when hes sent to his room to give people a break he just creeps out and continues, he never wants to be on is own but doesnt know how to not annoy the poeple hes with.

Sarah62 · 03/11/2021 12:25

Thanks everyone

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