Baby doesn't like pram, car seat or sling and doesn't nap well

[stayignorant]

I feel at my wits end I knew having a baby would be difficult but my LO (4 months) doesn't seem to like anything and it's like there's nothing else I can try!

He screams as soon as the car starts moving and will do that until he falls asleep and no distractions like toys or songs or a dummy will calm him down. Also we take him out in the pram every morning with our dog and he manages that for the first half an hour before he starts crying.. again I try and distract him with toys or make it dark and put white noise on if I think he needs to sleep but he rarely does.. I've even resorted to rocking him to sleep whilst walking sometimes. He's generally happy and alert whilst he's awake at home but we feel like we can't take him anywhere! He even protests in the sling now which upsets me as I feel like he should enjoy being so close to me, he used to fall asleep easily in it but doesn't any more. I would love to be able to use the sling for naps at home so I could get some stuff done!

At home he won't be put down for naps, he'll only have short naps (30 mins) in his bouncy chair or in my arms after being rocked to sleep.. and as soon as I leave him in his bouncy chair for 5 mins I come back and he's awake.. when searching forums for threads that already exist about this people always suggest using a sling to get things done but I can't do that. I've given up trying to put him down as it just causes everyone stress and I don't want it to negatively affect his night sleep. THANKFULLY he sleeps well at night and I'm so so grateful for this but I know it could all change as he's 4 months now and still waiting for the regression to hit us!

I don't even really know what advice I'm after as I feel like I've tried everything... it really gets me down sometimes and I cry most days as I'm finding it so hard. I love him so much and we have loads of happy moments during the day I just wish I could enjoy him more and take him to more places without there being so much stress. I also wish I could do housework

Also will it get easier?

No brilliant suggestions I’m afraid, but I can see no one has replied and just wanted to say that it absolutely will get easier. It feels so hard in the early months but improves bit by bit. It’s hard to know what to suggest as your baby doesn’t seem to like any of the options that people tend to suggest as an alternate. Mine disliked the pushchair when they were little and that gradually got better. So you’re probably find that with each of the things he’s currently resisting, he’ll gradually be happy in them for longer and longer periods. My eldest would only nap in a sling for a long time, but I was never able to use that time to get things done. She needed constant, regular movement. So I would either have to be out walking or I would bounce on a gymnastic ball, so that she got the regular sense of movement and I at least got to sit down. She was always happy for me to potter around with her when she was awake so that’s how I got things done, but a lot of things didn’t get done!

Hello and congratulations on your baby. I have a prem baby who is now close to yours and at least for me it's totally normal to have to switch from pram to carrier/sling and back several times each outing. My baby will cope with the pram better than the sling some days, other days it's the opposite and sometimes will go 20 mins in the pram before wanting to be picked up, other times will fall asleep and stay in the pram for an hour. Car seat is equally unpredictable. If I don't have a specific time to be somewhere I wait until baby is tired then go as usually the baby will fall asleep then. If the timing doesn't work out and baby is awake then we're usually on for screaming so it's just not worth it as I hate those tears! My baby contact naps in order to get enough rest.
Thankfully we can afford a cleaner so I don't have to do much housework atm and can just focus on baby. If I put baby down it ends the nap within 5 minutes so I don't. Can you get a family member to have the baby to get on top of things?

As above, the sling only works for me if I'm moving and I usually have tears when first going in it. As soon as I start walking baby is either distracted looking around or nods off. If I stop walking baby wakes up.

It will get easier in a sense....as one day they don't nap anymore and want entertainment all the time!

Would it work going from carrycot to seat unit?

Give up on the idea of housework and contact nap. If you have to sit whilst he naps on you then so be it. Have a station set up with snacks, drinks, phone, TV remote etc.
Always check essentials are in good order before using the car seat etc, i.e. Dry nappy, well fed, burped, up on sleep etc.
Use the Huckleberry app to nap at the right times so he's not overtired.
If all of this is done something medical is up and needs a GP appt. Could be his position causing reflux or silent reflux.

Thanks all for your reassuring replies!

@Timeturnerplease he already went into his seat unit once he had good head control at 3.5 months and he definitely gets on better with that but still only lasts 30 mins or so! I put it at a slight recline and he seems comfy in there.

@PerfectPrepPrincess thanks for your advice, I love the contact napping and I'm sure I'll miss it when he grows up. My husband is always helpful when I need things too.
I always make sure he's happy and his needs are met before putting him in the car or the pram. With the car it's strange he doesn't mind initially being put in the car seat but when the car starts moving he starts crying, I don't think it's reflux as he doesn't have any other symptoms I wish there was more of a clear reason though so i could have some sort of solution for him!

@stayignorant no advice but some solidarity, my LO is coming up to 18 weeks and is exactly as you describe DS!! She hates the sling, car seat, tolerates pram only for a half hour nap tops!! Naps are a battle, we're lucky if she has two half hour ones a day!! She is just so alert she wants to see everything! We have her forward facing in the carrier as its the only thing she'll tolerate and enjoys! You have my sympathies, it is exhausting

Hi @Shmerlock sending solidarity to you as well! It's so hard isn't it but I just keep telling myself it will get better in time. Hope it does for you too let's try and enjoy this time as much as we can!

This was my DS (5 months) until about 3 weeks ago! I was getting so down thinking we couldn’t go anywhere. No idea if he just grew out of it or if these changes made the difference, but here is what we did:

• For the car seat, we took the newborn inserts out and pushed the sunshade hood back so he could look around. I also read that they shouldn’t be in coats or jackets in their car seats because of the padding and heat on in the car which can make them overheat, so DS goes into the seat in just his clothes with a blanket over him to get him to and from the car, but when we are in the car with the heat on (coincides with the car moving?) we take it off. He hasn’t cried in the car since!
• I ditched the sling as he absolutely hated it, I think because of how it restricted his arms, and got a Nuna carrier instead. Incredibly expensive, but worth every penny as he will happily go in the carrier around the house and for long walks (again make sure they are wearing appropriate layers to avoid overheating). Yesterday he was awake for 45 minutes of our walk just looking around and then slept for the final 45 minutes.
• For the pram we also switched him into the seat and pushed the hood back so he could see outside, and I got him that Fisher Price baby radio that plays classical music which I keep in the pram and bring out if he starts to get fussy. Has worked like a charm and we can usually get a good hour in the pram (usually with him sleeping). Singing also helps us here.

It definitely gets easier, it could just be that as he’s becoming more aware of his surroundings he wants to be able to see and explore more. Hope some of this helps and good luck OP!

@MumsyMalone thanks for your reply! I've actually tried a few of those things like letting him look around more but I think it could just be that he gets tired easily in the pram and fights sleeping in it.. even if he woke from a nap not long before.. same with the car seat and I took the insert out ages ago as he's a big boy 😄 maybe he has a negative association with the car I don't know why though. I'll try the radio thing though as usually we use white noise so we'll see!

Definitely interested in trying other carriers so will look into that one.. I think the baby bjorn one we have might be a bit restrictive as well it's not very ergonomic and the stretchy wrap was only good when he was tiny.

You could have described my son at that age. He used to have a fit when I tried to put him down and only (briefly) contact napped. It turned around for the pram when I decided to swap out the pram part for the seat. I really wish that I’d bought the newborn insert and just used that. Once he could see more, he was settled. He wouldn’t stay in the sling for more than a minute when he faced me. The first time that he faced forward, it was a hit. The car seat (Maxi-Cosi Pebble Pro) was also a disaster. When he finally reached the height limit, we moved him to a new seat where he could see better and we haven’t had the same issues since. Again, I wish that I’d known sooner. As for napping, that finally kicked in when he had put on weight and sort of coincided with the 4 month sleep regression. Maybe you just have a nosy baby like I do!

Try not to be on the lookout for the four month sleep regression, it doesn't happen for every baby. My twins are five and a half months old and they never had the four month regression. It may increase your anxiety on this to be waiting for your baby's sleep to regress, so I would advise that you continue to respond to your baby's needs as and when they change, and if they do have a sleep regression, to cross that bridge when you come to it.

It's really hard when your baby won't nap, there seems to be this expectation that babies sleep well and you'll get loads done in that time. That hasn't been my experience. My twins generally nap for 20-30 mins at a time, often not even at the same time. If I move them they wake up, so I am usually sat on the sofa with them until they wake up. Yesterday they had a nap for a whole hour, which is unheard of. Some babies nap for 20 mins, some nap for longer. It is whatever your baby needs, really. I wish I had words of wisdom to give you, but I want you to know you are not alone.

It does suck, but hopefully it will gradually get better.

This sounds exactly like my DS who is now 2! He could only stay awake for an hour at a time and then wanted a 30 minute nap (in my arms only... I had to rock him every time and he was not a small boy!). He also hated the car/the pushchair, I think because he wanted me to hold him 24/7. I ended up giving into it for a few months. We still went out but I made sure for the most part that I could hold him for his naps. He improved massively when he could sit up/crawl/walk and he dropped naps. You probably only have a few months to go, so if you can just give into it short-term I promise it will get better!
For what it's worth, I hated the contact naps at first, but now DS is 2 we still often contact nap for the one afternoon nap because I love the cuddles, but he doesn't need to now

My son also missed the memo that babies love prams and the car... he started enjoying the pram more when he went into the seat at 5 months but you say you've already done that.

For the car, I just timed every journey for when he needed a nap. Eventually he stopped screaming in the car. I live rurally, so everything is a half hour journey away.

He loved the sling though, he lived in that. I carried him regularly till he was 2 (I progressed from stretchy wrap to ring sling to buckle to back carry on the buckle).

Once little one is a bit older and sitting upright that should hopefully help. Also we bought a Wedge for my baby when he was 13 months old - helps them sit fully upright and not be slouched over, so they can fully see everything around them. Think this is it www.eyaslondon.com