Encouragement from other parents

[ImustLearn2Cook]

Today a lovely woman told me that I was doing a great job and it made such a huge difference. My dd was having a massive meltdown about leaving the playground and about how the children she was playing with had left and she didn’t get to say goodbye. (No one stopped her from saying goodbye, she decided to run off because I had said it was time to leave too). Dd is not a toddler and really should be past the tantrum stage. She screamed, cried and carried on in public while I tried to reason with her demands.

It’s really stressful when in public some people look at you with raised eyebrows and shaking their head in disapproval over your child’s behaviour and your attempts to deal with it.

So it really made things so much better when this mum who’s kids had all grown up told me I was doing a great job. She really built me up and my dd noticed and started to behave better.

A few days ago a dad gave me positive feedback on my parenting too and his words made a huge positive difference too.

I think it’s great when parents can build up and support one another.

Have you had experiences of positive support that made parenting just a little bit easier for you?

You're right

I try to say something nice if ever I see another mum having a difficult time. We've all had those moments, but it feels so lonely when you're in the middle of it and all you can see is how hard it is.

This is really uplifting, OP! We should all try and boost each other as much as we can, on here, and in the real world, because this parenting malarkey doesn’t get any easier

This is a nice thread :) when my LO was screaming in the car seat as I was trying to get the pram in the car a dad asked me if I was ok and was really friendly. Makes you feel a lot better than being frowned air stared at.

*frowned and stared at

Oh so nice to hear! When my DS was about 16 months, I was 9 months pregnant, walking him home from his morning at the nursery, he point blank refused to continue. I was tired, it was hot, I had himself, scooter, nursery bag, he was screaming on the floor in the middle of the pavement and I was about to cry. A lady walked past and stopped, smiled at me and said "you are doing great, hang in there, it will get better" and gave me a smile. My son is now 2 and I still remember those words. It made ALL the difference to me on that day. Sure I still had to pick him up and carry him AND all the things in my hands 3 days before I gave birth but I will never forget her kindness.

Yesterday my toddler was throwing an absolute fit on the bus and an older lady caught me eye and smiled and said “we’ve all been there”. It came after a very bad, broken night’s sleep (toddler awake between 2 and 4.30 for no obvious reason) and I’m heavily pregnant, and it really did help me.

Thanks everyone for your lovely replies.

@ChaosMoon That’s very lovely of you. I try to do this too. I am making a pact with myself to do this more often.

@canyoutoleratethis
You are right, we should boost each other up more often.

@Peaplant20, @ZooKeeper19, @SparrowNest Thanks for sharing your positive experiences. Those early years are hard work, you are doing great.

@00100001 Thx for bumping the thread

Yes, when DC1 was a few months old and screaming on a train I was with my friend who had slightly older children. She could see I was getting a bit stressed out about DS disturbing everyone else and told me it was never as loud to everyone else as it seemed to me. Another lady then leant over and just said, "your friend is right, nothing to worry about". It was nice.

Another time when I was on my own for the first time with DC1 just under 2 and DC2 a newborn trying to manage DC1 who had woken up early from a nap and trying to bf DC2 in a cafe and they were both crying. Someone anonymously paid for my coffee as a surprise. Nobody said anything but someone must have thought I was struggling a bit and it was just a lovely little gesture.

@DappledThings thx for sharing your experience of a stranger’s kind gesture.