I have 4 girls. The eldest has been friends with my friend's daughter since they were born. Friend's dd has since become very friendly with dd2 also. We were happy for all 3 to be friends but dd1 was recently told that friend's daughter would rather have dd2 only for her friend as they are closer in age. dd1 was (understandably) very hurt and upset. Lots of discussions and arguments have resulted between the girls. I have tried to stay out of it as I think they should sort it out on their own.
However, my friend has got involved at every opportunity, taking her daughter's side and blaming dd1 for every argument. She has phoned twice and screamed at dd1 for stuff she was meant to have said and done. I only recently found out about this and think it was out of order - she should have spoken to me rather than bullying my daughter behind my back. I know that dd1 is not innocent and can argue for Britain, but also know for a fact that friend's dd is to blame too.
It has resulted in dd1 being told that she is not welcome at their house, despite having actually done nothing except try to defend herself. She is the one that has been hurt.
We were all meant to be visiting over the holidays and dd2 has been invited to stay for a week but I have had to refuse this. I feel insulted that they have told me one of my children are not welcome at their house, so I feel none of us should go, out of respect for dd1's feelings. dd2 is devastated. She understands how hurt her sister is but feels she is losing a friend too.
Have I done the right thing in stopping dd2 visiting her friend? Sorry this is long.
Have I done wrong?