Worried about leaving DD

[Vicky1989x]

My DD is 18 months. I went back to work when she was 8 months old and my mum and sister looked after her for me (I lived with them so was easier).

My mum passed away on the 7th October, she was in hospital from the end of September so I’ve been off work since then but have to go back next week - my sister won’t take care of her alone which I totally understand and I can’t afford a childminder.

My MIL has offered to look after her and she lives 5 minutes from my work, however, my DD cries every time we go over there and runs and hides from my MIL. I’ve never left her with anyone other than my mum and sister so I’m also anxious.

I used to work 7am-3pm 3 days a week but I’m changing my hours to 9:30am-3pm as I have an hour journey to my work and don’t fancy dragging my DD out at 5:30am so she won’t be with my MIL for long.

How can I make this as easy as possible for my DD?

TIA!

Is there a reason your DD cries when you go around your MIL's? If it is just unfamiliarity/shyness would it be worth facilitating building their relationship so that she feels better to be left there? Lots of children cry when they are in unfamiliar settings but are okay as long as they are in being cared for by good, nurturing people whilst you are not there. I know this might not be feasible before you go back to work but might be a more long term solution.

If building their relstionship is an option you could drop her there just for an hour at first, encourage MIL to do fun things with her so she associates her house with fun. Then gradually build up the tike she is there.
Also she could take some familiar items from home for comfort whilst she is there.

Thank you @Nellesbelles - she’s just shy I think, she doesn’t do well with people she’s not familiar with. It’s probably my fault as I don’t go over there as often as I should but it’s 2 buses there and 2 back so a lot of effort with a small child!

I will try take her over this week and do some ‘settling in’ days to see if that eases it for her. Thank you for your suggestions!

Best of luck, I hope she settles okay.
So sorry for your loss

No problem, hope it goes okay for you OP. At least she will only be 5 minutes from where you work so you can be there quickly if needed. Wishing you luck with your return to work. So sorry for the loss of your DM

Have you checked your eligibility for UC to help towards childcare? You and your husband (assume you have one as you reference MIL) able to also get the tax free childcare through work.

What hours does your OH work? Do you both still live at your mums house?

@Kneller92 @Nellesbelles Thank you both!

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz We’re not married no, I just call her my MIL! I do get UC but not really sure how it works. We both work for the same company as well. He works 7am-3pm Monday - Friday. I’ll have to look into it!

Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I took my DD to MIL’s today and apart from whinging and clinging to me for the first 10 minutes she was absolutely fine! I was so surprised and now my mind is a lot more ease.