How will I know if DD is ok at nursery?

[LaMadrilena]

Yes, this is probably PFB paranoia.

DD will be going to nursery in January when she's just turned 7m. I'm going back to work next week, and DH will be staying at home till Jan. I'm especially stressed about it as we're still trying to convince her to take a bottle and she's refusing, but I've already got another thread on that!

How will I know if she's ok at nursery? She'll be going from our two-on-one care to a baby room. It's only a small place, but still. I can't stand the thought of her being lonely/scared/bored, let alone that the care might not be adequate (I have no reason to think this). She won't be able to tell me at home time, so how will I know?

Please don't tell me she shouldn't be in nursery so young. I'm only too aware of that, but we have no help here, short parental leave and a mortgage to pay.

She will be ok!! They are professionals after all xx

If she’s eating well, pooing and weeing regularly, develops a good bond with her keyworker and thriving developmentally then you know she’s doing well.

She will most likely be perfectly fine.

Most children get a little upset at drop off/ pick up but recover very quickly. So if she does get upset then don’t worry too much.

In most cases going to nursery is much harder on the parents than it is the child.

The best thing you can do is send her in with a big smile.

If there is any problems then the staff will let you know.

Do they have an app or a book or something where they let you know about her day?

Just give them a call and ask how she's doing - they don't mind!

She will be fine. She might cry a bit at first but they soon get used to going. If you remain calm and happy then she will pick up on that and hopefully follow your lead. I found even if she was crying it was best to just leave as staying made it so much worse.
I found it tough when my daughter first went, but she absolutely loves going and the staff are brilliant with all the kids, so I hope you have the same at your nursery.

She'll be absolutely fine because:

• you love her and have therefore chosen a nursery that is good quality and trustworthy.

• baby will have a key worker and will develop a rapport with the staff pretty quickly.

• you will get daily updates from the nursery telling you just how she is doing. Even back when my now teenage DC were very small, the nursery would send me a daily pic of baby so I knew they were OK.

And on the very very slim chance that things are not perfect;

• you have great mothering instincts and if someone thing isn't right, you will soon pick up on it and either find out what's wrong or sort alternative provision.

It's easy to say I know, (and I've been there - both of mine went to nursery from baby room stage) but try to relax and find the positives in this new stage. The calmer and more relaxed you are, the better the baby will settle.

My first born has just started too at 9 months, the difference for me is that I also work there (although in a separate room from him).
Now I’ve seen it from both sides (as a practitioner helping to settle new children and as a parent) I can completely understand your concerns. Even though I know the staff and they are people I would consider friends, I still worried about how he would be. We have an app that gets updated daily, and for babies twice a day. This tells me what he has eaten, what his sleeps have been like and some pictures of him playing and engaging in activities throughout the day. It’s so reassuring. Ask them how they communicate with parents in a daily basis and hopefully they have something similar although I would’ve thought they’d have mentioned this when you looked around!
As others have said it is totally normal for children to get upset at drop off and pick up but it is also normal for them to be absolutely fine, and also normal for them to be fine for the first few weeks then start getting upset. All children are different and you can’t really predict how they will react.
But i’m sure your baby won’t be the first baby the staff have settled in- they will be used to this and will have so many different approaches so one will fit your child!

Our nursery has an app where they post info on what my kids have had to eat, what nappy changes, what sleep they've had, a termly report on their progress against the eyfs categories, and I get daily pictures of them doing something. I also get a brief update when I pick them up, and if there is anything they are concerned about they call me or DH. I can also call them. Yours will be similar I'm certain.

If she's not ok then the nursery will tell you OP as they don't want an unhappy baby in the baby room.
They'll keep you informed and any issues they want to work with you to solve so you'll definitely get told.
I remember going to pick my DD up from the baby room and spying on her (with the managers permission) so I could see her in the environment without her knowing I was there. It really reassured me.

Our nursery also has an app. But they should also tell you! We have a little chat at every pick up and they fill us in on how he's been :) She honestly won't be bored - they will do loads with her and she will come home exhausted!

You know she will be happy because a good nursery will work with you to ensure this happens.

A friend whose kids are teenagers now used a nursery with cctv, so they/the grandparents could log on and see how they are getting on. I thought it would take off and become more common but maybe it hasn't

Thanks everyone for replying. The lady who runs the nursery is lovely and very approachable, and I'm sure she's more than used to paranoid mums. I'll have a chat with here - I don't think there's an app (not that advanced in Spain) but they must have a way of keeping us up to date. The place gets great reviews, and it's just opposite our house so I always see the kids coming and going perfectly happily.

I'm just a bit jumpy as I'm back to work in a few days, and although in some ways I'm looking forward to the change, she's just so small to be away from her mum. Also my lovely (not sarcasm) MIL has been making well-meaning comments all weekend that it's a shame DD has to go to nursery. She's right, I wouldn't do it if I had the choice, but I don't.

Still, I might win Euromillions before January, then I can tell work to do one!Hey