Fingermarks on dd's rib cage

[handlemecarefully]

I'm not going to change my name for this because that would be cowardly, but I am kind of in shock because there are finger marks on dd's rib cage and I am responsible.

She wouldn't get into the car seat earlier and baby ds was screaming with hunger and tiredness so I couldn't just sit in the driver seat with the car stationary waiting for her to get bored of it, so I wrestled her into it. I wouldn't say I was violent at all, but I was very forceful. dd is exceptionally strong and my brow was beaded with sweat after I finally managed to get her in (after receiving several kicks and thumps from her etc). DD does do this from time to time and I have wrestled her in before but never left her with marks at all.

I can't believe that this few minutes of tussling to get in the car seat has left her marked in this way, and I am very uncomfortable that I was responsible. How the hell should I handle this situation in future because I don't want a re-run...

How old is she handlemecarefully? Would she understand a star chart or bribery (i.e. we get in the car and use the seat belt then you'll get something nice or we'll do something nice together). you'd have to be very specific and keep your promise. or a baby doll with one of those car seat and she can strap the doll in its car sit then you starp DD in her car seat.
I agree, the child needs to be restrained in the car saet no matter what. or could you threaten that if she doesn't wear the belt you're going back home . it all depends on how old she is. good luck!

HMC - no malice was intended by wrestling your child into her car seat so please dont worry - you've done nothing wrong. When ds wouldn't have his seat belt on I used to tell him that our first visit would be to the Police Station (which I know is wrong - but it did the trick) In fact one day whilst in town we saw 2 policemen walking round so dh asked if they would explain to ds the importance from their POV of wearing a seat belt.

Also if it makes you feel better about 9 months ago my ironing board was up with iron on it (switched on) and ds walked past too closely and brushed the top of his arm against it and it marked him quite badly (still has visible scar) -we treated it and I sent him to school and he told the teacher I burnt him with an iron!!!!

Message withdrawn

My DS at age 2 had to be wrestled into the car seat - he used to go rigid and kick and thrash around. Now aged 3 he gets in and I strap him in and it's wonderful.

I used to say "oh look there's a bus, an aeroplane", promise chocolate and other treats, beg, plead, sweat, miss my train and once I cried! It is hopefully a phase and it would so easy to give in but of course you can't, they must be strapped in safely.

I would suggest a massive distraction technique along the lines of "oh look at that .... whatever" while you strap her in and ride it out until your little angel grows out of it.

And of course you feel terrible about the fingermarks but it was accidental and you don't want to imagine what could happen if you didn't strap her in and you had an accident - not implying you would ever but you know what I mean.

There are times when you just have to shove them in! I can't be the only one who has used a well placed knee in their middle to get a screaming child to bend to sit them in a pushchair...(I am also talking about forceful, but not violent)
In an ideal world I guess you would be able to distract her/ let her take her time getting in/ bribe her/ persuade her, but as you say, you just had to get her in.

Also some kids to bruise more easily than others - my brother used to get a handprint shaped bruise when anyone even grabbed him playfully.

I love mumsnet for this very reason - no matter what happens you are not alone!!!

oh gawd. dd1 once ended with finger marks on her shoulder that i caused trying to stop her being hurt. she was about 2 years old, and had pulled out the drawers in a chest of drawers and was using them as steps to climb up. but there was a small tv and video on to of the drawers. the drawers tipped, the tv and video weent flying, dd1 ankle got shut in a drawer and grabber her by the shoulder, and had to push the drawers up against the wall whilst trying to keep her leg from snapping as it was trapped, and keep hold of her. I was so relived none of us was more seriouly hurt.

We all do these things HMC - I've wrestled ds2 into the car seat and forceably held him in but what's the alternative? Spend 20 precious minutes trying to bribe them, leave them unstrapped - of course not!

DS1 has also burnt his finger on the iron.

No matter how careful you are, these things happen.

We all do these things HMC - I've wrestled ds2 into the car seat and forceably held him in but what's the alternative? Spend 20 precious minutes trying to bribe them, leave them unstrapped - of course not!

DS1 has also burnt his finger on the iron.

No matter how careful you are, these things happen.

I also love mumsnet. I not too long ago, left finger prints on dd when I grabbed her, unfortunately a bit too forcefully, to prevent her from running onto a busy street - this was after 3 admonishions to stay next to me and hold my hand. I felt really bad about it but consoled myself with the fact that it would have been much worse would she have been hit by a car...

HMC I've had a couple of similar incidents recently with DD1. If she hadn't been wearing her winter jacket on each occasion I may have come home to find a mark on her .
I have an aquaintance who has a DD the same age as my DD1. Recently she had a car seat battle with her DD, gave up and drove home with her DD sat in the front passenger seat with no safety restraint whatsoever. Her story chilled me, yours certainly didn't!

I have done this too. I grabbed Ds's arm the other week when he fell as we crossed the road. Don't know why i grabbed so hard as there wasn't a car coming or anything, but he had a bruise round his arm.

Thank you so much for your lovely messages - I feel really supported. I had been feeling really crappy about the whole thing, but you guys put it in perspective.

I will have to wise up a bit about dd and the car seat though - i.e. anticipate that she might be a bit tricky with it and get straight in there with a distraction technique before she kicks off.

Last night she had a tantrum when dh tried to put her to bed and insisted on having me - so she obviously doesn't bear a grudge!