What age do your children start to have a drink?

[Sausagesandhoney]

As I'm now the parent of a teenager I'm interested to know what age you find it acceptable/normal for your children to have a beer? I don't want to alienate my children but being too strict about it, and would like to be open about drinking, but equally I don't want them to drink too much too early!

I'm hoping they don't find it cool to drink quite frankly as I was from the binge drinking era, but I'm already hearing them chatting about it .....

Mine's 17 and I don't mind her and her friend sharing some wine on a weekend at home. I always talk to her about units and risks....they need educating.

A very weak snowball or babycham at Christmas from 13 I think. My family only drink at Christmas or bbqs. I'll probably offer Dd the same when she's 13 next year. Like my parents I rarely drink and I doubt Dd would be interested at the moment as she only ever drinks water or Iron bru.

Why not get alcohol free beers, hell not know the difference although might lead to him thinking he can handle more alcohol than he can.

Ds used to have a shandy on occasions but was never really a big drinker. But when he did decide to drink, he asked me could we get him some for him to have a few with a friends in the garden for someone's birthday when they was 16, left school.... Checked with other parents an they all agreed. 4 bottles of beer each- safe to say mine cannot handle it and was been sick after 2 hahahaa

I let mine have a small beer (the little 250ml ones from about 14 if they wanted it at home). I'd rather they learnt to handle alcohol in a safe environment. Out of the three, one likes his drink but has never been seriously drunk to my knowledge, he did once ring me in early hours of the morning as he couldn't get his drunk friend safely home. He couldn't ring his parents as his dad was a vicar and he would have been in serious trouble, the lad slept it off on my son's floor. My middle one doesn't drink at all but has a serious coke addiction (fizzy drink variety) and youngest has maybe one drink a week. Banning it just makes teenagers rebel and do it in secret.

Mine is 15 but year 11 so he is the youngest is his year. I wouldn’t be opposed to a beer or similar in moderation but he hasn’t shown interest thankfully. It all seems to be about energy drinks in his friendship group which I am more opposed to than a beer.

mine were always allowed a sip of this or a lick of that on occasion or special days.

I don't approve of them having an actual drink, like a full bottle of beer or alcopop, until they are 15, but I'm pretty sure my oldest 3 had some just a bit before that.
DS1 & DS2 are adults now so I just can't recall.
DS3 is almost 17 and I know he definitely had one bottle per party 2 years ago (4 or 5 parties). he will still only have 1 can of Kopparberg if that, he doesn't care for it much.

DS4 is almost 15, he isn't interested. he'll smell an open bottle of beer and grimace.
he does like my Asti Martini though so he has a small amount when I open a bottle on special occasions.

DS1 knows his limit.
DS2 doesn't. he is 6' 8" and heavy and so he's convinced he can drink as much as he wants - he was celebrating with his mate so they shared a bottle of whisky, 2/3 bottle vodka and about 6 bottles of beer on Sat night (despite my protest over the volume and speed!) - unsurprisingly they both vomited a few hours later. 🙄
DH didn't know this when he started loading the washing machine in tje morning and put his hand in puke in his wash basket. he wasn't impressed either.
DS2 is 18. what can you do?

the others are too young.

From 16 we've allowed them to have a drink at major holidays.

Mine never asked, started at university (not much).

I would not be keen, I'm not very into alcohol as an ex-heavy drinker.

My parents let my brother and I have a drink at Christmas and New year when we were 13. I think I had a Bacardi breezer and he had a bottle of beer. From 16 they would let us have a couple of drinks to take to parties if we asked.

I think it worked pretty well that way as they knew we would drink that rather than downing a bottle of spirits. We both had our first properly drunken experiences (15 with a bottle of white lightning in my case) but generally managed to drink in moderation. We also weren't afraid to go home drunk if we wanted out of a scary situation, while some friends were stuck there rather than risk their parents finding out.

I'll do the same with mine when they are older.

We don’t drink so wouldn’t be offering it to our kids either - certainly wouldn’t be offering a 13 year old alcohol. I don’t buy into the ‘banning it makes them drink more’ either, otherwise why wouldn’t we allow them to try everything at home to get a taste for it?

So for me, they won’t drink at home. I’ll of course tell them as they get older all about the safe drinking tips and hope they are sensible enough by that age to be safe.

Maybe rather than making a rule you could talk about the effects of alcohol.

I told my dd that most people drink because they are shy and cannot loosen up without alcohol, so it is important to have techniques for loosening up that do not require alcohol. I also said that alcohol can disinhibit you and result in unwanted pregnancies.

I don't know if it was that or the fact that my ex, her father, is a difficult drunk, but when she drinks, she drinks in moderation and can be the life and soul of the party.

We've offered DC a drink occasionally from about 15 but neither were particularly interested.

We have bucks fizz on Christmas morning and DS rarely finishes his. DD liked the beer when we went to Germany when she was 16.

They are now 18 and 21 and both usually choose soft drinks if we eat out.

DS definitely isn't keen. DD has just started at Uni so we will see if she changes.

I'm prepared for the backlash but here goes...
My 8yo is welcome to have a sip of anything we are drinking if he wants to taste, and has been since he was about 5.
When I was a kid we were allowed half a weak shandy or wine spritzer with Christmas Dinner from the age of about 13, and I'm likely to be the same with my own DS.
A whole, undiluted beer all to himself, probably at home from when he's 16, obviously not anywhere else.

I'm closer to you @Atmywitsend29
We gave ours tastes whenever they asked. Both children tried wine and declared it tasted like nail varnish remover. As they got older (13+) we have let them have small glasses of what we have. Dd still doesn't like any alcohol, Ds likes beer but mostly drinks AF.

For me the important thing was to teach them a good perspective on alcohol. So we talked about the taste, compared one wine with another, tried different types of beer, so they would appreciate the drink rather than knock it back and get drunk. DS16 seems to have a healthy attitude towards booze now. He appreciates a glass but doesn't want more than that. Which is pretty much what we modelled at home.

I'd let them have a small sip to taste at quite a young age. 10/11 maybe. They usually don't like it anyway.

For an alcopop or a small beer at home, 14/15.

@Kanaloa

We don’t drink so wouldn’t be offering it to our kids either - certainly wouldn’t be offering a 13 year old alcohol. I don’t buy into the ‘banning it makes them drink more’ either, otherwise why wouldn’t we allow them to try everything at home to get a taste for it?

So for me, they won’t drink at home. I’ll of course tell them as they get older all about the safe drinking tips and hope they are sensible enough by that age to be safe.

I don't think banning it makes them drink more.

But I think that not explicitly banning it removes the appeal of something forbidden, especially for those kids who like to push boundaries and experiment.

Home is a safe place to try things rather than trying it when out with friends and having less control.

Obviously we don't provide that option for everything, such as illegal drugs, but alcohol is socially acceptable and if we can support young people to safely explore and find out what they like then why not.

Thanks everyone, good to hear everyone's experiences