Postpartum, hormonal and feeling like a failure already

[FeelingLikeAUseless]

We've just welcomed our third baby into the world and I feel useless. I can't do much beyond meeting babies needs because I'm recovering from a cesarean so the cooking, cleaning and running around after our older DC has fallen to OH who is now feeling overwhelmed by it after a few days of doing everything.

I've been trying to push myself to do more to take the strain off him so was up and down doing all of the night feeds and nappy changes last night so he could get a full nights sleep, then today I've tried to do more for the older DC which I'm now paying for in terms of pain.

I feel like a failure and that I should be doing more, I hate that the housework has fallen behind and just feel like an emotional wreck to be honest.

Baby is constipated and has reflux so he's constantly uncomfortable and hungry due to bringing up atleast half of every feed.

Logically I know it's my postpartum hormones but I feel like such a fucking burden on my family.

You sound utterly wonderful.

Fuck the house, it will be a mess but it will be there when there is time.
Cuddle your babies and lean on your husband.
If he couldn't do it and you could, you would so let him do the same.

Take care of yourself lovely and congratulations on your new little one

Oh OP you aren’t a burden on your family! You just grew and birthed a whole new family member, that’s amazing!

Please don’t push yourself too hard tonight, I’m sure your OH wouldn’t mind being woken up for the night time nappy changes. Is he off work at the minute?

It really doesn’t matter if things slip around the house for a while. How old are your older DC? Could they help with things a bit more?

OP you’re not a burden or failing. You need to rest and recover from the c-section. If you push it too much you risk putting yourself in a worse position.

Is there anyone that can come over and help? Whether it’s taking the other DC for an hour, help with the house etc. We had a rule that anyone wanting to come over to see the baby had to help out in some way - whether it was unloading the dishwasher, folding clean clothing, help make the beds etc. (It helped the early weeks were just family).

It’s lovely that you’re letting your OH have a full nights sleep but the reality is that you need help lifting the baby etc. You’re going to need the support in these early weeks and he is going to have to help out - especially if you are with the DC all day.

Please, please allow yourself time to recover and get your OH to share the load but above all do not think you are failing.

And as someone who has had two sections DO NOT overdo it. It's just not worth it and will leave you out of action longer.