Absolutely dread mealtimes with toddler

[throwingfood]

DS is 19 months and has always been a good eater. In the last couple of months though he’s developed a really bad habit of throwing food whilst in his highchair. Whenever he gets any form of finger food he just picks it up and throws it. When the plate is empty he will then immediately ask for more, which I feel reluctant to give him as I know the vast majority of it will end up chucked on the floor! On the other hand I obviously don’t want to withhold food if he’s asking for it.

I’ve tried saying repeatedly that food stays on the plate, not on the floor. I’ve been repeating this for months and it doesn’t seem to have any impact. He even points to the floor and says “no”, then throws the food anyway!

I really dread feeding him now as it’s such a stressful ordeal

I know I could stick to spoon feeding only, but it seems wrong to stop finger food altogether.

Is there anything else I can do?

I would probably spoon feed no idea if that’s the ‘right’ answer but …

Thanks. I gave him toast and fruit this morning and nearly all of it was thrown on the floor

It’s so annoying. I know it’s a phase but a really challenging one!

I probably would just go with porridge, mashed banana and so on, just until it passes. I suppose you could try toys to throw on the floor … (I am not hopeful either!)

I always thought I’d do baby led weaning, read the books, but DS didn’t and so we are spoon feeding!

It’s really hellish, but it is a phase. Spoon feed the bulk of the meal and and give him one or two finger foods. Don’t pick them up if they go on the floor - it’s not a game.

If you can, work on a different perspective on the matter. All babies do this. He will stop. He’s just exploring food - it isn’t personal. If you can work to just brush it off and not let it stress you out, you’ll get through the phase easier.

Could you hand him one piece of food at a time and let him finish it before handing him another? Or would it still end up on the floor?

It’s a game for him now. He throws it, you get upset, he gets a chuckle.
Spoon feed and give him a piece or two to himself, if he throws it, it’s gone.
It’s the trajectory schema (you can Google), a learning method. It’ll pass, eventually.

Maybe it’s time to progress out of the high chair and onto a booster seat at the table.
I often found that changing the situation changed the behaviour.

You could also maybe try putting a blanket down and trying to eat as if it were a pincnic? Then technically he’d be dropping and not throwing food to the floor. Plus if it went on the blanket he could then just re pick it up?

Put a big cloth down under the high chair so you're less stressed about the mess.
Spoon feed him what you need him to eat at the beginning of the meal.
Then put a few finger foods on his tray and let him get on with it. When he throws, ignore it and continue eating your own meal and chatting to others.
When he eats, give him positive attention just smiling at him and saying "it's delicious isn't it? Do you want more?"
When his tray is empty say "all gone" cheerfully, lift him straight down and clear the cloth away.
If he's not getting big, fun reactions from mummy to explore and if throwing the food means that it vanishes for good..... he'll soon get fed up on that game and probably replace it with a different and more exciting one
Just keep repeating to yourself "it's only a phase, it won't last".

My 17.5 month old has been doing this for about a month or more now and it’s driving me nuts! I now spoon feed her the majority of her meal then give her finger foods after so at least I know she’s eaten. If she throws it I’m not as mad because she’s eaten something at least.

Thanks very much for the suggestions, I will give them a try. I keep telling myself it’s a phase but it’s a very long one! It’s just soul destroying having to clear up such a big mess every mealtime. I really hope it passes soon.