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Original poster

Is this normal for an 18 month old?!

44 replies

tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 22:51

I have an 18 month old son. Every morning when I hear him wake up, I go into the room and say good morning! How are you! really enthusiastically, but he doesn’t even give me so much as a smile! Just immediately asks for one of his toys that has inevitably dropped on the floor overnight. I feel a bit sad that he doesn’t seem especially happy to see me at all. I’ve asked friends who say their babies give them a massive beaming smile when they go in the room. Is my son’s reaction normal?!

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Pickles89 · 29/10/2021 22:53

How does he interact with you during the day? Have you done any sleep training with him?

Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 22:58

I’ve never done sleep training as he’s always been a good sleeper, we’ve never needed it. He’s fine during the day I think? Just enjoys playing with his toys, likes a lot of interaction, asks for a cuddle every now and then, loves going to soft play and to the park. Should I be worried?!

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ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 29/10/2021 23:01

none of mine could talk at that age so asking for a toy is unusual for me.

as to no smiling or reacting to you I'm sorry, but I think it's strange. children usually react with excitement and want to be picked up in that situation.
if he never does it I'd want to know why.
does he avoid eye contact? is there anything else you think might be relevant?
I'd speak to a GP to see if he needs to be referred for an assessment.

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Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:03

I can make him laugh in the day doing silly faces and playing with toys as well. I’m just a little concerned as others say their babies are ecstatic to see them in the mornings?! What are your 18 month olds like first thing in the mornings?

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Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:06

as to no smiling or reacting to you I'm sorry, but I think it's strange. children usually react with excitement and want to be picked up in that situation.

So what’s normal then? Should he be visibly excited and smiling when I go in the room?As soon as I go in he sees me then points to his toy on the floor and asks for it. He seems to want his toy more than a cuddle with me!

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Thinking2041 · 29/10/2021 23:07

Hi op.
So… I only ever went in to get my son when he started moaning. He wasn’t a great sleeper so I was always tired. I wouldn’t go in just if he woke. I’d leave him whilst he played about in his cot for a bit. By the time I’d go in he’d be bored and getting angsty usually, so I’d get a reaction. Do you go
in straight away? I’m wondering if he has just woken so is quite non-plussed

Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:08

He doesn’t avoid eye contact, he looks at me.

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Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:10

No, I normally leave him for 10 mins or so after I hear him wake. The reason being, I hear him wake up and he will be chattering away quite happily to himself in his cot, so I have a little lie in! Then after 10 mins (by which point I feel he’s getting bored) I’ll normally go in and pick him up, take him down for the day.

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Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:10

Does everyone else’s child give them a huge smile when they enter the room then?! Sad

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grey12 · 29/10/2021 23:11

If you're not worried about his behaviour throughout the day, then I would say he is grumpy in the morning Wink he's a person! Some people are like that

Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:14

If you're not worried about his behaviour throughout the day, then I would say he is grumpy in the morning

Maybe, but is it not a bit unusual that he’s totally non-plussed when I come into the room and he just asks for his toy?! What does your child do when you come into the room in the mornings?

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Kitkatchunkyplease · 29/10/2021 23:14

Mine usually says 'i need a wee' as her morning statement. Or 'where's my teddy'. So no, she doesn't greet me with a smile.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 29/10/2021 23:15

I can’t answer for everyone, but I would say every child is different. I have one child who bounces out of bed like tigger, smiling and chatting away. The other is a morning sloth who I generally have to wake and drag out of bed, persuading him to leave behind the warmth of his cosy pit. Like having a mini toddler teenager Hmm

Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:16

Or 'where's my teddy'. So no, she doesn't greet me with a smile.

Ok, that’s made me feel a bit better!

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ThirdElephant · 29/10/2021 23:17

I don't know, OP, because mine were invariably already in my room (and bed) when they woke up. I wouldn't worry too much at this stage though. It's very early to tell if there's an issue, and just on this one thing in isolation it wouldn't be possible to say either way.

user1471604848 · 29/10/2021 23:18

I've 20 month old twins.
I've never noticed them smiling at me in the morning. They'll point to a dummy they dropped in the floor, or to their books, or point to the curtains to open them.
I hug them and they hug me back, but I don't remember smiles specifically.

MissM2912 · 29/10/2021 23:18

I would speak to your health visitor

Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:19

I've 20 month old twins.
I've never noticed them smiling at me in the morning. They'll point to a dummy they dropped in the floor, or to their books, or point to the curtains to open them.

That also sounds like my son!

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Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:20

I would speak to your health visitor

Really? Is it unusual not to get a smile straightaway in the morning then?

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Q123R · 29/10/2021 23:20

My dd is 20 months. We co-sleep, so there's no. 'excitement at seeing me, but more often than not she'll burst into tears within the first few minutes. I'll ask for a cuddle but rarely get one, usually I'll get a 'snuggle' but this morning I had to make do with a tickle. Any other time of the day I'll get a cuddle if I ask unless she's in a mood.

I wouldn't worry. He knows you'll pick him up, but he needs help getting his toy back.

pinkgin85 · 29/10/2021 23:21

My 22 month old doesn't have many words but he does smile and say mama! when I get him after his nap. In the mornings DH usually takes him out of his cot and puts him down and he comes running into my room excitedly saying mama and then 2 seconds later runs off to play. He doesn't like cuddles much though. How would be react if someone else went to get him?

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 29/10/2021 23:22

@tiredmum87

Does everyone else’s child give them a huge smile when they enter the room then?! Sad
mine did and still do, until they are teenagers. then you get nothing but pained grunts 🤨

I agree with letting him be happy on his own, it's good that he can play independently!
And I'm not saying there's something wrong with him, only that mine would react, they'd smile and want a hug immediately, as soo. as they saw me or DH (or whoever was looking after them).

maybe he is not a particularly cuddly baby. or maybe there are other innocent reasons so I don't want you to feel bad or guilty or scared!
But he behaves differently from what my experience has been so maybe there's more behind it, maybe there isn't.

if it makes you worry then talk to a HCP. it's impossible for strangers on the Internet to give any diagnosis or valid suggestions as to what might be going on - we don't know him like you do.

milissa · 29/10/2021 23:24

I cosleep and my 15 month old is always thrilled to see me when she wakes up. Big beaming smile and she usually rests her face on mine for a cuddle.

Original poster
tiredmum87 · 29/10/2021 23:24

He’s the same when my husband goes in, just immediately asks for his toy that has fallen on the floor Sad

His vocabulary is good, he has a lot of words.

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DontPeeInThePlayHouse · 29/10/2021 23:24

My children hate the morning, they do not smile. If they were older I'd give them coffee and a fag before attempting to speak with them Grin

But no, my children have never smiled or been enthused to see me on a morning. One yells for boob the other just wants to be left alone to come to.

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