'easy baby' Vs 'difficult baby'

[HalloHello]

In the midst of newborn bubble at the moment and am pondering what makes a baby 'easy' or not?

My 9 week old is pretty chill until I am out of his sight then he gets upset, he likes to be walked around the house, and only naps on us or in the sling, he sleeps 2.5-4 hour stretches overnight and settles well after breast feeding. He is pretty portable and just comes along with me in the sling or buggy as I get in with my life and looking after my older child. He doesn't cry that often and can be calmed with a dummy, cuddles or just change of scenery. I would say he's 'easy' but I'm just interested in what others think/what are your babies like?

when mine were toddlers they would run and climb a lot

This has just made me realise that there isn’t an answer to this because everyone will be different.

I love the fact DS1 climbs and can’t wait for DS2 to too. I HATE the ‘potato’ phase where the only thing they can do is suck.. how boring.

To add there was a recent thread where an op describes her surprise at how difficult she is finding her 15 month old while everyone around her talks about how easy they are finding it now as she should be finding it easier by now.
You don't get to police others opinions or experiences.
I see so many posters with teenagers talk about how difficult that is and i don't shut them down because I don't want to hear their experience.
Op babies have very much their own personalities , I saw this so much with my 3

@FTEngineerM I also like the fact that they were physical , my dh and I love sport and running etc. It was more other people's perception that this was a problem!

Mine were both fairly easy in terms of slept in chunks of 2-3 hours early on (which is just as well as I was terrified of having a baby that had woke every hour), slept 'through' or with just one wake within 6 months, could generally be soothed and stop crying with contact or feed, didn't need constant carrying. I mean, they had their moments and weeks of cluster feeding,

I think all babies are "easy" tbh

Absolutely not true.
My first screamed night and day for six months. Was soul destroying and not sure how I got through it.
She did 30 min naps always. She was down to 2 times 30 mins at six months old and 1 times 30 mins at 12 months old no matter what I did !
She did sleep well at night though from six months so that made it all a bit easier but she was still a v unsettled baby until she was much older.

Dd2 is almost 5 months.
She's sleeping roughly 6.30pm-5/6am at night. Doesn't nap for long usually. The odd longer nap but no rhyme or reason to it
Generally happy though unless she is unwell. 🤷‍♀️ She is easier but I still find this stage v hard.
I find the unpredictable part of it hard and when she does cry and have unsettled days I find it hard not really knowing why

My second screamed and cried a lot as a baby but i personally found that easier to deal with the toddler tantrums. So to correct myself i found all mybabies "easy" but it was in comparison to later stages where they actually slept worse when older...
That was prob why i struggled as instead of getting better their sleep got worse and everyone only ever talks about how babies are so difficult but then it all gets so much easier. I would never say it to someone struggling ever but I would have loved if someone had told me that it doesn't magically get easier once they aren't babies. I guess it was all reversed in my case, I was on a total high with babies and then a total wreak with non sleeping toddlers!

@Abitlost2 see, I was the total opposite. When my colicky baby screamed constantly for the first months of her life I was desperately worried something was wrong, and it tore me apart.

Now she’s a toddler, and decides to lie on the floor in Sainsburys having a cry because she can’t climb into the freezer cabinet, I find it vaguely entertaining because a) I love her absolutely crazy toddler ideas and b) I know there’s nothing genuinely, horribly wrong! She’s not starving because I’m not feeding her properly, she’s not in pain, she’s just being a slightly insane toddler! And who doesn’t feel pissed off and overwhelmed and wants to lie down in the middle of the supermarket sometimes

@Dollywilde that totally makes sense! I found i was better at dealing with baby problems like screaming and crying even though it wasnt easy like bf loads, rocking or walking around with a sling.
But I found toddler tantrums and one of my dc constantly bolted and tantrummed so so much ( again just personality, one dc never tantrumed, the other a little) really, really difficult to deal with.. Distraction didn't work, nothing worked and they had a piercing scream so it was really , really stressful. I was so much more frazzled at that stage than the baby bit so it has clouded my views too much I think!

My first baby was a difficult one.

Grissly temperament, clingy, poor sleeper and napper. Woke every 2 hours for 2 years and every 45 minutes for months in the first year. Woke at 4.30am to start the day for years and we couldnt shift it. Cried a lot, difficult to soothe. Wouldn't take a bottle so bf 24/7. Huge amount of energy.

She's still tricky age 6, some of the same characteristics- sensitive, grizzly, loads of energy, poor at regulating herself.

2nd one much more chilled - easier to soothe, less intense. Similar now.

Sleep was a major factor in how much resilience I had as a parent.

My first was very easy. He was sleeping more than 12 hrs every night consistently at 3 months. My second still needed a dream feed until she was around 5 months. But both went down for naps and bedtime very very easily. Just chuck them at the cot (awake). Fortunately, a friend gave me a Gina Ford book and I just gave it a go to see. And it took very easily. I think i was a bit unbearable for a couple of months with my first as I just did not understand at all what everyone else was or had gone through. I thought it was 6 weeks of hell then plain sailing.

Both my twins were (and still can be!) difficult - colic, reflux, CMPA, constant whinging... feels like they had the works!
I survive on endless cups of coffee

@jupitermars1345 Are you me? Literally, right down to the exact same nap schedule for DD1, she also dropped to one night wake at six months. DD2 sleeping almost exactly as your second and yes takes short naps too but is more chilled.

Only difference is DD1 stopped the screaming at around three months, but only because hers was reflux based and she was dosed up to the eyeballs on ranitidine.

Solidarity, sister!

@TeddyBeans

I had an easy baby until 10 months in. Then he went all guns blazing into a development leap...leading to approximately 4 months of hell. I've found that there's no such thing as an easy or difficult baby - it comes and goes in waves at different times for each tiny human

This unfortunately

Timeturnerplease

😁.
Some just really struggle with those naps don't they but I'll take my nights sleep anytime.
At least dd2 is mostly a cheery soul. My first was a misery but it did get better when she slept at night and during the evenings as we had that mental break

I also found toddler tantrums easier than a baby screaming at me but we're see when I get to that stage again this time .
Dd1 is almost 6 so I've forgotten a lot

DS was easy. We coslept and I could hardly put him down for five months but he slept well. He woke about two hourly but I just breastfed him lying down then we both were asleep again. I could take him anywhere as he would sleep in his stretchy wrap carrier or sling.

I think easy depends if they fit with your lifestyle. A family member had a baby six months younger than DS. At 12 months the baby napped for three hours, in a cot in a dark room. That would be my idea of hell.

Low birth weight, hourly feeds day & night. (BF) zero sleep.
Colic, screaming and screaming and screaming when awake. Zero sleep.
Then straight into croup. The colds and coughs were frequent as was the croup, gasping for every breath. Zero sleep.
A tooth came, zero sleep. Clocks went back/forward, zero sleep,
Slept no more than 2 hours at a time, no daytime sleeps, up from 4am or 5am for the day most days.
Finally slept a full night when aged 5 and at school full time.
Was a climber, escape artist, stair gates, cot, shopping trolleys, car seats, high chairs could not hold him, he was out within seconds.
Would not/could not sit still at all ever. Going anywhere was extremely stressful, he was destructive, would break, smash, take to pieces everything he got his hands on, I couldn’t leave him in a room alone as it would be wrecked within minutes.
He would be behind a TV screen, climbing up curtains, emptying cupboards, under tables, never interested in toys, would never sit and play like other kids. Would never sit and watch a film or TV program, would loose interest in minutes.
Toddler groups, cafes, friends houses absolutely out of the question. Besides I was utterly utterly bone drenched exhaustied constantly.
I had to stop going out anywhere with him for over a year as a small child because I couldn’t cope or keep him safe.

Could not put myself through it again so we didn’t want any more.
10 years on, we had our 2nd child.
Like night & day. Slept, ate, a joy and a delight.
What parenting should be like I think.

@dollywilde oh I totally agree! I was the same as you- really torn apart by my miserable little baby, wondering what on earth was the matter with him. Now he's three and his tantrums are ridiculous but I know he's absolutely fine really, and generally a happy little boy.

I had a horrific pregnancy, but DS was an easy baby. We struggled with breastfeeding because he had tongue tie and I had low supply, but otherwise it was a breeze. He started sleeping 5 hour stretches at night before he was 6 weeks old . Loved to nap on the move, so I used to pop him in the sling or in the pram and go for long walks with a coffee. He was a summer baby, so it was lovely. He wasn't fussy, didn't cry for no reason, and was generally great.

He's now a feral toddler, but still a good sleeper and eats EVERYTHING. Except cauliflower for some reason.

I think it depends on your expectations and wants. If night time sleep is a priority then my DC1 would have been considered an “easy” baby, slept through from 8 weeks old and is the most consistent baby/toddler for night time sleeping I’ve ever come across, teething, leaps, 8pm NHS clapping, nothing phased them! Most of my family and friends have labelled DC1 an “easy” baby, however I would not say that at all, they never napped in the day, had a horrendous temper and short fuse (thanks DH!) and now as a toddler require constant attention and entertainment… and to top it all off they are a runner so roads are a constant source of anxiety for me!

DC2 is still a newborn to that remains to be seen, but appears to be a calmer disposition than DC1 so far.

@helporhindrance07 oh your DC1 sounded exactly like mine. He was such hard work!! I would have definitely sacrificed the sleep for a happier and easier baby (I say this with hindsight because my second child was a poor sleeper but delightfully content baby).