Incessant crying

[Hippo2021]

Does anyone else’s baby cry all day and all night? The definition of colic as 3 hours of crying would be a DREAM compared to what we get. If we’re lucky our 3 week old sleeps for 2 hours during the day and maybe 3 hours at night and that’s it. He also feeds pretty much every hour for half an hour, day and night. So much for sleeping 16 hours a day and feeding every 3 hours, as all the guidance describes for a newborn. Are all of the books/websites/apps misleading or have we got a completely bonkers baby?! The only way to soothe him is to cuddle him, which obviously isn’t practical 24/7 as I need to sleep at some point! Any tips/advice/reassurance that this has happened to others and it will get better?!

Oh god, I really do feel your pain. My newborn was like this. He's now a toddler! He was pretty much unbearable as a newborn, refused to be put down and wouldn't sleep unless being cuddled. It will get better!! But that doesn't help you now.

Do you have people who can help out? Hold baby in between feeds so you can grab a short nap?

Is he gaining weight? Does he have tongue tie? Not all tongue ties are obvious and even doctors and midwives get it wrong sometimes.

I’d suggest that you start cup-feeding him. Try and pump as often as you can, don’t worry if you can’t pump much at first give it a week or two and your supply will come back. If you don’t have enough breastmilk to begin with then use formula.

I'd say you need to speak to GP/HV or midwife if you're still under them. There could be something more than just a grumpy baby - TT, reflux, CMPA.

How is he feeding?
Do you feel he's in pain?
Gaining weight?

Hold baby in between feeds so you can grab a short nap?
I wouldn't advise this from a SIDS point of view, you have to be awake whilst holding a baby

Agree that this isn't normal (don't let people tell you it is!) and it's certainly unsustainable for you. Push for clinical investigation as likely to be reflux, or CMPA, or soy allergy etc.

I would be trying a bottle to see if he settles a bit longer after it.
I used to give mine one at the last feed before bed.
It’s also handy to know they will take a bottle in an emergency.

I'd check with a doctor just to make sure everything is alright because that is very little sleep. My son was bad when he was a baby but I think he would get at least 9-10 hours in the day and night altogether.

Can you wear baby yet from safety point of view because that could help you get about your day.

My son was like this , it was a nightmare !
I'm always amazed at how babies are quiet in their buggies and awake ! You may want to get his eyesight checked , my son had dvm and I believe he was scared . He also had pain in his tummy . Please see a gp, I didn't know a crying baby wasn't normal !

I had Velcro babies, stuck to me 24/7. One used to wake every 20mins on the dot but even she slept maybe 10hrs total in the day. So if your little one is that unhappy with that little sleep I'd definitely see a doctor.
I know how tough it is not sleeping so you have my sympathy. Hopefully you'll be reassured to know she's now the easiest 4 year old I've met, a dream child.

I think you need to get him checked for things like CMPA, silent reflux, other allergies. The only babies I've known that have cried that much have had a reason to, because they were in pain or very uncomfortable.

You can cut out dairy and soy (egg is also a common one) in your own diet straightaway while waiting for GP/HV help and see if that starts to make a difference. Even tiny amounts of allergens in your own diet can be a trigger to a CMPA baby. I'd be very worried if he's really sleeping so little, so please call GP and/or HV today.

@PinkMoon22

How is he feeding? Do you feel he's in pain? Gaining weight?

Hold baby in between feeds so you can grab a short nap?
I wouldn't advise this from a SIDS point of view, you have to be awake whilst holding a baby

I think you've misunderstood this...the poster was suggesting that someone help by holding the baby while the OP naps.

@LillyBugg oops! I have, apologies

My little boy was the same, he feel like he cried for the entire first 4 weeks of his life, and then most of the 4 weeks after that too. It was so so difficult, I was running on fumes and me and my boyfriend cried most days also! I was breastfeeding him and cut out dairy which made a little difference but mostly it was just time that helped, he was just a very difficult newborn. The Love to Dream swaddle helped us get a little more sleep at night which we bought when he was 4 weeks old. We tagged teamed everything we could to make sure we showered and slept a little bit. It will definitely get better, by 12 weeks I remember feeling so much better. Google high needs babies there are plenty of them! X

Argh I feel you, I have a 4 month old who cries ALOT however as a newborn she did used to sleep a lot so I did manage to get sleep. She cried more in the evenings at first (but for hours and hours), and then eventually it felt like she basically just cried, fed or slept up until very recently. She has more content awake time now but does still cry a lot. I’d be quite worried about that little sleep and she’s probably very overtired now which in itself might be stressing her out. I agree with the others you need to go to the GP, it is very likely to be one of the things already suggested - reflux or an allergy, or perhaps a tongue tie causing her to take in air and making her gassy. I went down all of those routes and tbh nothing seemed to help but like I said we were all getting sleep so not as unmanageable as what you’re going through x

My son was similar, never really napped during the day and I had to hold him allllll night. It was hell and completely broke me.
In his case, it was mostly due to silent reflux (and partly due to him being awkward as he still is 12 years later).

Αww I feel your pain. Our baby daughter was the same. If she was not sleeping or feeding, she screamed the walls down. At one point when she was just 5 weeks old, she scream cried non stop for about 7 hrs straight. Long story short, she was diagnosed with CMPA. Now at 9 months old, you wouldn't believe it's the same child. Investigate any allergies and hang in there, it will get better.

OP cut dairy out of your diet and see if that helps. It could be an allergy.

Presumably you're getting wet nappies and baby's gaining weight as expected?

Is he constantly sucking on his hands? How many wet and dirty nappies is he having per day? What colour is his poo?

He should be regularly spraying you with wee during nappy changes and you should be getting big, explosive poos that leak out of his nappy several times a day. If this isn’t happening then he isn’t getting enough milk.

Have you had him checked for TT? My LO was a crier, turns out he had a tongue tie which was causing reflux, tongue tie snipped and some gaviscon and he's a much calmer baby!

@seaborgium I don't think that's true at all, my DS is following his curve well and he's never sprayed me with wee whilst having his nappy changed. Nor does he leak out of his nappy several times a day, he's only had about 2 explosions in his 12 weeks of life, if he was leaking every day it would suggest the nappies were rubbish...

Reflux ( infant gaviscon) and maybe top up with formula, maybe breast milk not enough, I had to do this. X

I’d suggest you get advice from a breastfeeding specialist before topping up, as doing it with a 3 week old baby will affect your supply when you might not actually have a supply issue at all.