Preschooler refusing to walk

[WitchsFamiliar]

I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. We always walk to school and preschool.

The 3 yo is only in three days a week, so on other days, we (ds2 with dh or me) do the school runs there and back to drop off and collect the older one, and some days I collect the little one, take him to the park and then go back for the older one as he has after school activities. So, it can be a lot of mileage covered by the younger one.

He is a big 3yo, (last time we checked he was 75th centile, so not massive, but big enough).
He is a little bit behind in some things; his speech is not great and he is not yet potty trained.

Anyway, he completely refuses to walk. What he really wants is to be carried by me. I work a full day (very early start while dh does the drop off) in a semi physical job on the days he is at preschool and he is heavy! I cannot carry him all that way.

When I say no, he will stop dead in front of me and push his head into my legs. If I manage to get out of this, he sits on the ground and wails and doesn't walk after me if I walk on. We walk along busy roads with loads of driveways, so this isn't safe.

I have tried a balance bike, with a small amount of success, but this was dangerous, as he kept attempting to ride along the edge of the curb (as a little fun challenge) on incredibly busy roads. Went to the park yesterday on quieter roads and he rode his bike there but refused to ride it back, so I ended up carrying him, his helmet and the bike. I'm too old for this 😂😫

He is fine in a pushchair, but ours is falling to pieces and he doesn't really fit in it anyway, as he is tall.

Oh, we also tried a scooter with a pull cord. It kept falling over as he hasn't really got the hang of steering yet. He hated it and so did I.

He does walk for dh, on the days he does school drop off, which is obviously maddening! But also, he isn't tired at that point, as it's the start of the day. So by by time I'm doing the pick ups on those days, he's tired and grumpy.

Tempted by a cheap buggy which holds big toddlers / preschoolers but at this age it seems mad.

I've checked old threads on here and sifting through the unhelpful comments to look for suggestions, but I honestly think we've tried them all!

Any ideas much appreciated.

How far are you walking?

It's 3km round trip

Cheap buggy. No brainer.

Was going to suggest calling his bluff and just wait for him to walk with you (with some sort of reins/wrist strap for safety) but 3k is quite a hike for a tired and stubborn 3yo. Cheap buggy. He WILL get there with walking eventually, but for now you need a faster commute with less fuss.

I have the same issue. I’ve worked out it’s anxiety about being away from me, particularly when he doesn’t go every day and doesn’t really know what day it is.

So I take the pushchair on days it looks like he’s going to be difficult. I know he can walk and he’s too old (he’s turned 4 now) but I’d prefer that to both of us getting stressed. It was such a horrible start to the day it just isn’t worth it. People might judge but I don’t care.

Get a second hand 3 wheeler buggy. It will save your sanity this winter.

Just get the buggy and save you and your DS the stress.

My DS used a buggy until he was 4, he has additional needs but nothing physical. He used to do the lying on the pavement thing, would also bolt and also had no idea about road safety. It was stressful so I used the buggy.

He is 7 and walks for miles no problem now and is excellent at being save on the pavement, so it hasn't affected him long term. He just needed a bit more time to get there than an average child.

Look on facebook for a silver cross pop or city mini both take children up to 25kg

Just buy a robust cheap buggy then on days he will walk, great, lots of praise, days he’s being difficult he gets in the buggy. We used one until dd was at least 3 1/2 for holidays or whenever we were walking far as she was too heavy to be carried and it saved the tantrums.

Another vote for pushchair.

He's tired.

If I understand it he's walking 1.5 km there, then home twice a day, some days he also has nursery and some days he also goes to the park. We do the same distance and there are days my 6 yo is tired and he only does there and back (he also has to suck it up and walk) but you'd preschooler is doing twice that.

We had the same problem with my three year old. She was a fantastic walker until her sibling was born and she suddenly regressed and wanted the pram (which I previously couldn't even shoehorn her in!).

We stopped making a fuss and got a pushchair from a Freebies site. Once the drama stopped she decided that she'd actually like to walk a bit.

We've told her that pushchairs don't work for 4-year-olds so practising walking now.

Not sure if it's the case with yours, but she really liked the attention and feeling cared for and babied. So I try to leave a bit earlier for journies and we have competitions on who can spot things, have mini races and look on the floor for treasure- bits of broken jewellery and crap that can go in her wooden treasure chest at home. We also collect nature things for nursery's tuff trays.

So much easier said than done though when you don't have this extra time!

Some days I shout, put her in the buggie, then have a stress cry when I get home 😭

I’d get a pushchair too. My middle child was in a pushchair until after her 4th birthday (not all the time obviously!) and we got a lot of judgement from a few people but we lived up a big hill and didn’t have a car and the people telling me I shouldn’t let her be “lazy” were driving their kids about the place or didn’t have kids at all!

Middle child is now 12 and loves hill walking as a hobby so it didn’t do her too much harm!

Thanks all. I'm going to look for a second hand pushchair.

I do see a lot of small dcs on foot waiting for older siblings, but they do all then walk out of the playground and straight into a car, so they aren't having to cover the same ground ds is.

We've been through 4 pushchairs already with both dcs, so I was hesitant, but I think it's worth it for the stress free mornings. Ds1 was on a buggy board at the same age looking back and that seemed absolutely fine. Now walls without problem.

Get a buggy. I was still using ours when my first was 4 and in preschool. She walked and ran at school all day long and was just tired.

Get the buggy. No reason not to and it will save your sanity.

We bought a buggy. It was useful on holidays for a couple of years too, so they can fall asleep at dinner or get from A to B and it just gives you a wider range when walking.
(My kids climb mountains now so it has not held hem back!)

I say get a buggy too OP and stuff anyone who gives you a 'look'.
Or you could get a second hand Smartrike or similar. Looks enough like a bike to be less worried about other people's opinions but as easy to push as a buggy. Plus it converts into a trike eventually so win win. www.smartrike.co.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwlOmLBhCHARIsAGiJg7lsjnRTD6eQLVdJFGnU2nBNf3fANsoNirZjCOgUVzXi20CCumBQ7x4aAqm7EALw_wcB

Its also worth persevering with balance bike or scooter when you can, even if only at the weekends. It takes them a while to get used to it, but it's really handy when they do! My DD prefers the balance bike as it has a seat.

I would get a buggy and not worry. A 3 wheeler robust one!
Or if u do want to retry the scooter then look at one with an adjustable height handle. The moment when I realised I could raise it when towing grumpy child to high enough that I didn’t have to stoop… Ours is a Globber one.

Definitely get a buggy. 3km is quite a long walk.

No car here and at that age I take buggy for when we have to get somewhere by a particular time, walk when we don't.

It's too trying on my sanity to get a preschooler to walk in the right direction/speed/not get distracted etc when there is a time constraint. I'd much rather push them to do the school run, then let them run around the park than try to combine exercise with getting places!

I do always give them the option of walking (and they sometimes do part of it) but being able to pop them in the buggy as soon as they flag means I have no worries about getting there on time.

Strap him into a pushchair, I certainly couldn't carry a three year old my back is too bad.
If my grandchild tried this one I'd gaffa tape him into the pushchair.