End of maternity leave sadness

[whatthej3ff]

I'm back at work tomorrow after having nearly 15 months off. I've spent all day crying and feel so low. Putting my DD to bed tonight felt so painful knowing I won't see her until tomorrow evening. It feels so unnatural to be leaving her

Did you have these feelings and if so, how did you lift yourself up? I'm really worried ill be a blubbering mess in the office.

15 months is a long time so its understandable you're feeling sad/nervous about the change coming tomorrow.

I went back to work after 9 months anf the main thing i loved was being me again, not just mum. All my friends always see me with DD, however, at work everyone only knows me as me, and it was great to be in that environment again

That's a long time so completely understandable. I was heartbroken after 9 months off but honestly, I felt amazing. I had a routine, I was just 'me' again, I could have a hot cup of tea and my dinner in peace. I miss DD but it's nice to not just be mummy for a few hours.

I feel so much for you... Been there, it's quite literally so painful...

I made myself feel better by thinking well I'll have wages, we can have nice holidays together etc..

Give yourself time to adjust, make the most of your time together at home and male an effort to do fun things together.

You will adjust, it just takes a bit of time. Be kind and patient with yourself.

I was exactly the same I had back to back Maternity after two babies and took a year off with each of them.

It was so hard but the main thing that helped was knowing that they were going to be well looked after and that it wouldn't be long till I seen them again.

I focused on knowing I would have more money to do nice things and and focused on when I would see their faces again.

The first day is always the hardest. No one will expect a lot after 15 months just focus on how it won't be long till you will back again and that your dd will be ok.

Let yourself be sad but also try to think of all the times you will have going forward too.

Hope it goes ok!

I feel you! I felt the same, I had 19 months off as I was furloughed for most of my pregnancy so went back to work when my baby was 13 months old. Managed to use annual leave to only go back 1 day a week to ease into it and now I'm just part time, and my mum has my baby round the corner from work so it's been much easier to adjust to. I hope you have a set up which can make you feel reassured about your baby as honestly now that I've been back, I do enjoy my days away from baby. I can go shopping in my lunch break, its so much easier to eat healthy at work as no access to the fridge, I have adult conversations and being at work is a genuine rest compared to looking after a toddler! I also treasure my days with my girl now and make sure we have quality and fun experiences and plenty of time just the two of us.
You will need to be organised though! I have a really good routine and I batch cook and use my slow cooker on my days off so I have meals prepared and for my husband and my freezer is full of food for the baby so I don't have to think short notice what she's going to eat! Pack everything the night before and make lists and be so organised so you can spend as much time as possible with your baby when your not at work and you will I'm sure really enjoy being back to your colleagues and professional life x

Good luck today @whatthej3ff I'm back to work in 2 weeks too and dreading it. I have done my kit days and they've been fine. It's lovely seeing my DD and how affectionate she is that she's missed me, it will be nice to have more money and make me appreciate the days I have with her and to make the most of them. Enjoy having your lunch in peace and a hot cup of tea

I actually didn’t feel this way because he seemed to enjoy his nursery induction so much I knew he’d have a good time there. If he’d hated it that’d have been really hard.

So I don’t have any real advice except to say: this is their first little step towards independence and ultimately why we do what we do - teaching them to live without us. It’s a good and necessary thing.

I felt exactly the same as you and I came home after my first day back crying my eyes out never wanting to return. 18 months on and I want to do more hours at work as it's such hard work at home 🤣

I felt/feel the same, I had 9 months off and it broke my heart leaving my lo that morning, the day could not go quick enough!
Luckily she is home with my husband at the moment (he's recently been made redundant) although I still felt awful leaving her.
After the first week or so I was dealing with it abit easier although still (after 2 months back at work) i get 'that feeling' on a Monday morning after the wkend with her.
It will get easier to deal with, being at work will keep your mind busy and time does seem to go by quick and your be back home with your lo xx

Thanks for all your comments, they were all really helpful and made me feel not so much of a weirdo!

Today was hard but made easier by the fact my lovely new manager let me go slightly early and was very understanding. My daughter couldn't care less I'd left her and I didn't even get the beaming smile when I picked her up