16 month old - preference for dad

[ThreePurpleLegs]

I feel pretty pathetic writing this so please go easy but my 16mo has recently started showing a significant preference for his dad and it’s really getting to me. I have been very anxious (diagnosed anxiety disorder) since he was born and this is playing into all of my existing worries that I’m a bad mum and that he doesn’t like me. I am obviously trying not to show that it hurts but when he reaches out from my arms to his dad or cries if his dad tries to pass him over to me I just want to cry myself. It’s preoccupying me and I know that I need to just get over it, brave this stage out and show him consistently that I’m here and I love him no matter but gosh it’s hard. I was wondering if anyone else had been through this who had some words of wisdom.

My DS is exactly the same at the moment, it’s just a phase. He knows you’re there and will always be there so don’t worry about that. Do you see more of him than Dad? Because I spend all day with my DS so I’m the boring one and his dad comes home DS is all over him because he’s not seen him. It’s completely normal, I know it hurts sometimes though. You’re not a bad mum you’re doing amazingly.

I was going to write the same as the previous post that if you’re the main caregiver it could be he just likes the change as he doesn’t see dad as much and so it’s not a reflection on you but just that he gets to interact with someone new.

Thank you both, it really does help to hear that it’s not unusual! I did spend a lot more time with him than his dad did before my mat leave ended when he was 11 months but now there’s not a huge amount different in the time we spend as we both went part time. Me more so than him though. I think maybe I drifted into doing all the boring background stuff like cooking and tidying while his dad gets to play with him and be ‘fun dad’.