Weaning off, a hand hold please

[GlumyGloomer]

Dd is 27 months old, and she tantrums for bf all the time. A lot of the time she doesn't even get any milk out, it's just for comfort/to get attention. I tried night weaning a while ago which sort of worked, but she never stops asking and she's worn me back to feeding to sleep most nights. I just can't wait it out any more. She's just had a nice cozy feed to sleep for her nap, and I feel like that's a good place to leave it. At the same time I feel so cruel, and quite tearful really. This isn't the end I wanted. Dd1 was so easy to wean off by comparison. I know the next few days will be an absolute nightmare, but hope that afterwards life will be better.
Did anyone else do cold turkey with a two year old, and how was it?

I haven’t got any advice for you as my DD is only 15 months but giving this a little bump for you, it sounds like you’re having a tough time xx

I don't have any advice personally but bumping for you. At 27 months, I'd say distraction is your best friend!

Thanks, she's woken up now and I'm spamming treats. Bedtime will be the hardest.
My 5 year old gave me a pep talk which was rather cute.
I'm feeling a bit better about it but the next few days will be tough for sure.

Are you in “breastfeeding older babies and beyond” on Facebook? Lots of extended feeders on there who might be able to help you

I stopped at a similar age but not suddenly. If you're not going to feed her to sleep tonight, can you go out?

Good luck! I went down the 'all gone' route at age two, but I know others did more inventive things involving plasters over nipples saying it was poorly!

Picture it for yourself as if there was a medical issue that meant you could no longer bf. Then there's simply no other way, and no reason for you to feel guilty or be talked around by your DD. You just keep saying to her how unfortunate it is indeed, that you are sad too, that you understand how she must feel etc... but still don't give in. You will find other ways to snuggle/give comfort. All the best x

Thanks @Clarabellawilliamson, can I ask how long it took your little one to forget about it?
@PanicBuyingSprouts we're isolating with covid, so going out not really an option. A couple of months ago she was going to bed without milk most nights, but bad habits crept back in.

I’ve done similar with my 4. I talked to mine about it, then just stopped. With the last 2, it took 3 nights of them crying, wailing, shouting. Then it clicked. I just stood firm- no milk. No more milk. Have a drink, have lots of cuddles, sleep next to me, etc. It’s intensely hard!! But worth it. You’ll have a much better chance of sleep.

We were down to just a very short feed at bedtime, but not long I don't think- days rather than weeks. Stay breezy- "all gone! Oh dear. Shall we have a story? What shall we do tomorrow?"

Not breastfeeding but I'm currently in the same boat having just stopped giving my nearly two year old a bottle at night. I know, I know but she is my third baby and I've indulged her a bit.

Anyway, I know it's not the same as with boobs because of the emotional impact on you, but I've just told her there are no more 'bot bots' left and that's her done. It's been about a week and we have had two terrible night but the rest were ok, she's pretty much stopped asking.

I think this is probably the best way to go for you too - just say there is no more milk left and power through. I know it's not the way you wanted to finish but you've had two years of the nice cosy moments, so try not to let the end spoil the whole journey for you. You've done an awesome job and it sounds like you are ready to call it a day which I think is fair enough.

How’s it going so far @GlumyGloomer?

@PanicBuyingSprouts
Still holding firm so far. On nap days she doesn't sleep until 10 at the earliest, today we're probably looking at 11-12. Originally I was going to wait until the nap dropped completely before weaning off, but I just want it done now.
@mistermagpie hopefully only a couple of bad nights here too. It's hard taking a comfort thing away isn't it? Well done for sticking it out. I've had mixed feelings about it for the past six months to be honest, ever since it became more about getting my sole attention than milk.

Good morning! We got through the first night. Quite a bit of crying at bedtime, less in the night although she woke up a few times and finished the night in my bed.
Books feeling quite full this morning so I may have a go at expressing later, although I've never been able to get much out that way. Wishing I could have cut down gradually. A few months ago we were almost there, but a combination of staying with my parents for a few days and subsequent rounds of illness put us back to square one. I just don't have the will power to keep fighting the same fight over and over. Gradual cut down worked perfectly with my oldest so this is all new to me.

*boobs not books, lol

I am considering doing one feed a day for a few days, until things adjust. Not sure it that's sensible or wimping out and messing her around.

I wouldn’t do any feeds- too confusing for a child. She’ll really persist in asking then. It’s much clearer to just say no more. Stay strong and in a week you’ll most likely have cracked it.