I need DS9 to bulk up!

[FusionChefGeoff]

Having watched DS9 play both cricket and rugby recently I've realised just how tiny he is compared to his team mates. He's pretty good at both sports but currently is definitely on the back foot due to his size. He was born at 37 weeks and has always been very slim but eats really well - I don't know where he puts it!!

What can I try to bulk him up a bit???

He has porridge made with full fat milk and we add ground nuts and syrup.

Lunch is hot school dinners.

Sometimes takes malt loaf or sugar snap peas as snack, sometimes doesn't want one / comes back uneaten.

After school snack toast or fruit - definitely mileage for something better here I think

Dinner - normal stuff but with generous use of olive oil / fatty meat / butter. No pudding as standard but sometimes has Greek yog with granola and honey.

I've just got him into cashews so am shoving those in front of his nose as often as I can.

He's not a big fan of cheese but I try to add a handful of grated to wraps / pasta etc.

He doesn't like cream but I can get away with squirty cream but I don't like the sugar content.

Doesn't like bananas - so ideas for how to make nice but low sugar smoothies would be appreciated as I think this could be one Avenue.

Is there anything I'm missing??

Is he quite young for his cohort? Are you comparing him to people almost a year older than him?

Although, having said that, DS is a September birthday. Slips into his year group at school, cricket team age group etc by a handful of days. I used to say that he was built of Twiglets, and he was never very interested in food. In the last year he hasn’t stopped growing upwards and has recently started to fill out. At 13 he’s 5’8”, size 9 feet and beginning to wear small men’s clothes, and his appetite is huge!!

Keep nurturing your boy, keep up the fresh air and exercise, feeding him well and he’ll grow. Obviously graves will have an impact, but a skinny 9 year old is pretty normal ime.

I had an 11yo who fell into underweight category and i was worried about his growth (on the shorter side for his age). Part of the issue with him was that he was a fussy eater - refused meat, eggs, cream, nuts & pulses. We did improve things by focusing on full fats, non-meat proteins (lots of oily fish), lots of dairy and plenty of opportunities to snack (avoiding sugary/fried stuff obviously). He did much better grazing rather than full meals. He is now just into the healthy weight category and not appreciably smaller than many of his friends - still looks skinny though, all arms and legs!

Leave him be. He’s not a pig you’re fattening up.

I was tiny as a child, my parents ended up taking me to doctors etc, and I overheard negative comments between them and my grandparents about how small I was it was not good for my self-confidence at all. I grew up to be completely normal size (not very tall at 5'3") but in no way unusual. Don't make a thing of it.

My DP is like this - he has been skin and bones since he was a child and still is in his mid 20s and nothing I feed him puts a gram onto his body! FIL was the same until he hit 40. It’s just what their metabolisms/body types are. As long as you are feeding him enough and a balanced diet don’t worry about it too much.

Is he underweight? My ds has always been extremely thin and underweight so I get where you are coming from. We've had to do similar things to get him to put weight on. Something you didn't mention which we included a lot of was eggs. Adding a poached or boiled egg to lots of meals helped. As well as full fat milk, also introduce cream into eg porridge, rice pudding etc. apart from that it sounds like you are doing most of the things we had recommended to us. From being below the 1st centile for bmi, my Ds is now the 4th centile. It's taken years to get to that stage though.

Most children these days are overweight and most people don't see this, I've had people comment on their child being slim when they have been really chunky! He will bulk up when he's ready

I'd try not to worry too much. My now 15 yr old has always been very short/slim, yet eats like a horse. He's built like a whippet!! However, he is healthy, very fit/active and I'm guessing that he will take after his dad (who was very short/slim, and then shot up/bulked out a bit from about 16/17 and is well over 6ft tall). He's got a blackbelt in MMA and plays rugby...and it almost goes in his favour as he's very fast/agile (mind you, I think I'd be legging it, if a load of giants were about to tackle me!).

I get where you're coming from OP.

Does he like peanut butter? Mine has peanut butter on toast after supper at about 8pm before bed.

He also has handfuls of cereal while watching telly when he gets home from school.

My older boy bulked up at 11 and was skinny til then.

This is insane. He’s nine, he doesn’t need bulking up?!

If he’s genuinely underweight for his age and height then ask your GP for a referral to a dietician who can help you with a meal plan. If he’s not underweight and you’ve just decided to body shame your small son for not looking like a body builder at the age of 9, get a grip of yourself.

???? Are you okay?

My dd was teeny tiny at that age. Skin and bone, but ate like a horse. He was 10lb 8oz at birth and I used to say he hasn’t grown since he was born! He’s now 14, nearly 6 foot tall, size 10 feet, still skinny, but has really bulked up and looks about 25 🤣 My little boy turned into a man over lockdown!

*ds

@holidaynearlyover

Most children these days are overweight and most people don't see this, I've had people comment on their child being slim when they have been really chunky! He will bulk up when he's ready

Many children, not most. Stats for reception and Y6 still show overweight/obese children are a minority.

Crikey OP, listen to yourself. You are criticising his body because it doesn't lend itself to being as good at sport as you want it to?

Do not go down this route. It is naive, unkind and potentially damaging.

Please don't force him to override his natural hunger cues just because you think he's a bit skinny – my mum did that with me as a kid, making me clear my plate even when I was full, and now I have no 'off' switch and have struggled with my weight throughout adulthood. My DD is naturally slender and I will never interfere with how much she eats so she doesn't suffer the same fate. Your DS sounds like he's the size he's meant to be, so leave him alone.

If he eats well and exercises then he’s the size he should be- short of a serious medical issue. Leave him be

My 13 y old is still very skinny, despite lots of sport and gym etc. Chances are he’ll always be fairly slim built given his dad’s build but he’s still pretty much prepubertal so he’s not going to be able to build much in the way of muscle bulk until after that, as I keep telling him. At 9 he was honestly just a stick (but perfectly healthy!) You can’t make prepubertal children ‘bulk up’ (you can get them to gain weight but it will mostly just be fat I’d have thought). Be very careful not to let him think you are concerned about his body though, teen boy eating disorders / gym obsessions are increasingly common

All the fat in the diet will not benefit his insides

Apple and peanut butter is a popular snack in our house. Peanut butter actually goes with quite a lot.

I think op just wants the best for her son and be able to fit in better and hold his own with his peers, and is worried that his body will let his own sporting desires down which I she wants to prevent. I’m not sure op has desires to produce an Olympic sportsman.
Some of these reactions are a bit harsh.

He doesn’t need to do anything.
I hope he doesn’t realise that he falls short of your ideal.

Have started and deleted 3 answers. OP you're going to need to ignore the other children and concentrate only on yours and their HEALTH, not their body shape/size to enable them to play competitive sports more effectively (especially if it's rugby) If it makes you feel any better, my DS was like this, born at 38 weeks, always slim but always fit. He's now a very fit and muscled 6' 4" but he's still really slim too. He gave up rugby at 15 when he kept getting folded in half by just heavier players. Relax and take a big fat step back. x

He's 9? Its far too early to be worrying about his size. Even if he was Y9 I'd still say wait it out. Some kids bulk out naturally during puberty which can happen any time from now on. Some kids sprout in height but stay skinny. Some just have their growth spurts much later and some may stay petite. But at this age its not something to worry about and you don't need to bulk him up! Don't compare him to his peers unless you think there are medical issues - in which case go to the GP and ask for their opinion.

FWIW my DS1 was always tall, but very 'slight'. Quite a delicate looking child. I always had trouble finding him clothes to fit his skinny frame and long legs. He's been fooking huge for quite a few years now (he's 14) and these days, I have trouble finding him trousers to fit his rugby player thighs!
DS2 also sprouted at 10 - but he was always the stocky one whose weight I was more concerned about - now he's the skinny one as he did that growing upwards but not outwards thing.

You don't know how they are going to grow.

If sport is important to you then perhaps get him into a sport where his natural shape is an advantage - basically anything that you are “lugging” your body with you and so the less there is the better.

Long distance running comes to mind. (Have you seen Mo Farah - he looks like a strong breeze would knock him over!) Cycling - particularly hill climbing - Bradley Wiggins has a BMI of 19!

My mum spent her entire life being underweight - the first time in her life she hit “healthy” BMI was 7 months pregnant with me. And then she hit her late thirties and her metabolism slowed down a bit. Whizzed through the healthy weight and ended up overweight. Because she had spent her life being told to eat more and override her natural “full” feeling and had lost it.