Reward / punishment systems in school

[Twounderfive83]

My DS is 5, in year 1.

He doesn’t tell me much about school, we had a recent parents’ evening where I was told he is very capable, reading doing well, and things to work on were not shouting out/waiting his turn to speak. His teacher told me he and his two best friends (one whom is, I hate to say it, the “naughty” boy in the class) have to be separated in the class as otherwise they get too overexcited. She also said that DS almost “heckles” her sometimes (she didn’t use that word, but I can’t for the life of me recall how she said it).

I was relatively happy with how this parents’ evening went as there weren’t any surprises - since he’s been in Y1 I’ve never been spoken to about his behaviour, and I wasn’t in reception either, but in the summer parents’ evening in YR I was told he’d started shouting out/silly noises during quiet time. This came as a surprise to me at the time as I had never been told about it.

This week I found out from DS that there is a reward system in place in class, a cloud, a tree, a sun and a rainbow. Everyone starts on the tree, and if you’re naughty you get moved to the cloud for the rest of the day. If you’re good, the sun, and if you’re “star of the week” you go to the rainbow. At the time DS told me he’s NEVER been on the cloud, but that his “naughty” friend goes on there all the time. This made me really sad for his friend at the time, who isnt a bad child at all, but he is very emotional/over the top and so I can imagine for a teacher with 30 other children, he can be disruptive.

Today DS confessed that actually he has been on the cloud, 4 times according to him. I asked why, and he said for whistling while the teacher is talking hmm I asked him to show me how he whistles; it’s basically just calling out loudly. So disruptive behaviour essentially. He said he has also been on the sun too, a few times, but that only he and his “naughty” friend have been on the cloud.

As mentioned I’ve never been spoken to about his behaviour by the teacher other than the parents’ evening. My DH thinks I’m mad to be worried about this, but I hate the thought of only my DS and his friend going on the cloud, as it singles them out as the “naughty” ones. I thought about trying to ask his teacher for more information about this system, and how we can support school with DS’ behaviour (eg if he has been on the cloud I would like to know so he doesn’t get screen time that day, similarly if he is on the sun I can praise and reward him) but to be honest it’s almost impossible to speak to the teacher privately unless I call the office and ask to pass a message on to call me back.

WWYD? DH thinks I’m massively overreacting and if his behaviour was a big problem, we’d be spoken to after school.

I think your DH is right.

Y2 teacher here. That’s a very old-fashioned behaviour system, schools are moving away from them nowadays. I think it’s reasonable to email the teacher via the office and say that he’s admitted being occasionally disruptive and you’re wondering how much of an issue it is and whether you need to discuss it with him at home. I wouldn’t double punish him though. If he goes on the cloud that’s punishment enough. They’re too little to respond to punishments IMO, a disappointed look normally does the trick!

That’s interesting @VashtaNerada as I’ve heard a similar system being used elsewhere. His teacher is on the older side, has been teaching a long time, I was worried she would seem far too harsh from what I’ve heard about her, but I really like her (from my limited chats I’ve had with her) and hope she seems fair.

This method is quickly falling out of fashion in schools. However, it will have nothing to do with a teacher as it's probably school policy. It's also strange there's never an opportunity to talk to the teacher. Do you not see her at drop off/pick up? Isn't there a email to contact her on? Worst case , ring the office to set up a meeting and find out exactly what's going on. Ask to be updated on his behaviour either face to face or via a home/school journal.

All that being said, now you definitely know your DS is disruptive and making wrong choices. Why? And what do you plan to do about it?

This is interesting to hear it’s now considered old fashioned as our school has a similar thing with traffic lights which I think is appalling snd takes no account for genuine issues like brain damage or processing disorders. I’m very much against it and want to see the back of it but think if it’s working the school won’t drop it.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose this method wasn’t used in reception class so I don’t know if it’s school policy.

And your question about what I intend to do about it, well this is exactly my point - if I don’t know day to day, what can I do about it? I already knew my DS can be silly during quiet time from his summer parents’ evening in reception. I have spoken to him about it several times, we have books like “listening time”, I even set up a little scene with his toys to show one being disruptive and what should be happening (he hated it, got very upset).

I don’t see what else I CAN do other than consistently reminding him it’s important to be quiet when the teacher is talking (at home if he interrupts I always call him on it) but equally if I don’t know day to day, then it’s very difficult to do anything. I very much use loss of privileges/rewards at home to manage his behaviour as I find it most effective. But if I don’t know if he’s been on the cloud that day nor why he was placed on there (other than on the off chance that he tells me, and then it’s not exactly 100% reliable) then I can’t manage it day to day.

Also at 5, he needs the consequences to be immediate, surely? If he is being noisy in school at 10am and placed on the cloud, is me addressing this at 4pm by removing screen time really going to work?

Our headteacher always starts the year off at her reception parents’ intro session by sharing examples of some of the outlandishly amusing things that we’ve been told by children throughout the years. She then says that if a child discloses something about their family, barring safeguarding restrictions we will speak to them first to get both sides of the story, and that it would help if parents do the same.

It may not be only your DS and his friend who have been on the cloud. It may be that your DS’ friend has suspected additional needs. Best have an open discussion with the teacher to get the full picture. Five year olds are still pretty self-focussed.

If you’re not keen on the behaviour management system though, you’ll have to speak to a member of senior leadership, as individual teachers don’t design these policies.

Thank you for being a sensible parent, and not immediately complaining!

Also at 5, he needs the consequences to be immediate, surely? If he is being noisy in school at 10am and placed on the cloud, is me addressing this at 4pm by removing screen time really going to work?

This is the problem though - staffing and timetable constraints mean that teachers can’t immediately follow through with a natural consequence for these things, as much as we’d love to.

A colleague had a child (Year 4!) sit on his friend’s lap and fart loudly half way through a lesson about decimals. We wracked our brains for ages after that trying to work out what the natural consequence would have been…. 😂

Please dont punish him at home for things that happen in school.

I don't really think taking things from kids really works long term either. Might work immediately but doesnt help the child learn about managing feelings or working differently.