Behaviour since starting school

[Nikita9030]

I'm at my wits end!

My little boy has only just turned 4 and has started reception. Since he started school it's like she a changed child. Doesn't listen, lashes out, gets angry and he's hard to reason with. It completely out of character and I'm so upset by it all. Is this normal!? I feel like I made the wrong decision sending him to school and maybe school of help him back till he was 5. He's so tired all the time now and dont think he's living school even though he isn't sad about going or anything. I don't know, my main worry about him starting was that he wasn't ready and it would be too much 🥺

And I overthinking it? Is it just normal child stuff or is school too blame?

I empathise with you. My little boy also started in September, only just having turned 4 at the end of August.

For the first, probably, 4 weeks, he was so emotional! Not aggressive, but teary and moods all over the place. I think the start, coupled with a few weeks of not feeling well with a few colds and tiredness changed him completely!

In the last few weeks, he has really settled and is back to his normal happy self. He's happy to go to school and I'm so relieved. It has just taken a lot of time and endless patience.

Have you spoken to his teacher? How do they feel he is doing?

My DD started in September and has been so emotional. She's also regressed a little on doing things herself like putting shoes and socks on etc. She's absolutely loving school and was so ready, I think she's just trying to be so good at school (she's a real people pleaser) that everything gets bottled up and explodes at home where she feels safe.

I have found having a big snack-box ready for when she gets home really helpful, and having a little 'invitation to play' setup in the living room really helps. We've gone back to a fairly low-key and undemanding, but punctual routine of an evening and I keep things as low-stress as possible. I see any frustration/anger/upset as things she just couldn't 'let out' at school, so giving her a safe space is important for her to process her feelings. It's not easy!! But similar happening with all her friends right now so it is completely normal.

And I should say, mine is about to turn 5 so quite old for the year! And still struggling with these things. They all go through it, your little boy will get there.

My ds is going through a stroppy / emotional stage too and not wanting to do things for himself. I found 4 a hard age with my eldest too. It will be a stage I'm sure, like everything. Don't worry.