I think my child is advanced and I don’t know how to nurture it?

[Queenslotus]

I’m a single mum to a almost two year old (23 months!) and I think she may be advanced? I’m not really sure as she’s my first, and there’s no other babies in the family to base anything off (PFB) and I’m just going from google and what nursery, friends, family have said. This is not a Brag post.

Some examples of this are:

A very extended vocabulary- knows all animals, even types of animals such as kingfisher penguin, artic fox for example. Can identify around 15 dinosaurs by name? Today she spoke in a 13 word sentence “I want a drink and then I want to go to the park but most of her sentences are around the 8/10 word mark? She loves talking. Can express her feelings very clearly “I’m not happy with that” “I’m ready to go here now” and describes her dinner as “delicious” or “Gross” for example (depending what It is haha!) so uses a wide range of adjectives. I’d say she knows around 600/700 words but possibly more.

She loves numbers, is counting to about 20 and can identify the numbers from the clock, door signs, etc. Is very confident with alphabet and can read letters, organise them so they are in the correct order and read out her name if she sees it’s written

She’s not however good with physical things, she cannot jump, climb or scooter and was a late Walker at 20 months!!

I’m just wondering if she seems advanced and how I can support her going forward? I want her to carry on learning and exploring but I’ve had a few comments from friends about her being advanced and me not exploring “options” about her future? Private schools etc already! Or taking it seriously enough.

But like I said, I’m a single mum and I’m not sure how I can support her other than exploring and learning.

She definitely sounds very clever. I’d just keep doing what you’re doing for now. Sounds like you’ve done a great job so far.

I honestly wouldn't put pressure on or stress, obviously whatever you are currently doing is nurturing her in order for her to develop. It's hard to know at this age, many children catch up to eachother by the time they start school, she might continue progressing above a 'normal' projectory, but maybe not. Respond to her interests and likes, provide fun stimulation- reading, crafts, ask her questions, games, learning through play etc. She's still very young, fun and exploring is the most important imo.

Don't ignore the physical stuff. It's not much fun being the brain box at school, but always being picked last, and reluctantly at that, in PE!

(I could read at 18 months, but catching balls, hitting balls - oh dearie, dearie me...)

Keep doing what you're doing, and encourage the motor skills too. Mine were like that. The trick is to keep them interested and engaged in things. They do tend to level out, and if she's particularly gifted they'll notice at school.
Don't let people's well meaning advice pressure you into doing things you can't afford.
Let her enjoy being a child!

I would start helping her to develop her motor/physical skills.

Lots of books .
Go to the library.
Keep doing what you doing.
Maybe kids music classes some do basics from 3 look what is on locally
Just choose a good local primary school see how she develops

My 18mo son is exactly the opposite of your DD. Very physically able - climbs literally anything, would scale the wall if I put steps on it, can walk up and down the stairs with one hand on the rail, can run and jump, pushes himself along on the scooter bike really well, will run up the big hill in our garden. He is, however, absolutely not interested in language or speaking, seems content with how things are and is more than happy to communicate with gestures. Neither of these things are anything ive done.

My point is that your DD has developed this incredible speech all without any special input from you so whatever you're doing is already great!

Lots of play based things. Keep reading books / music / art, whatever she enjoys. And definitely lots of fun physical activity - once again, informal, fun, and play based.

She sounds like my DD. She was also a very late mover but her speech is something else. At 12 months she answered the HV during her check up!

She's coming up to 3 now and I'm starting to think of what to do to support her. I do have an older child so that helps a bit too.

We're pleased that she will go to the same state primary as our eldest. It's really small and we're already seeing the individual support they can give for all needs. I feel that they will be able to differentiate and stretch her.

At home she's learning to read alongside her brother. We're letting her explore her interests and praising what she does.

We'd already decided to go private for secondary. I'm looking around at schools that might work and I've come to terms with her not going to the same school as her brother. I really wanted them to have the same, but I think her needs will be different to his (they might not, we will see)

Mostly though we're just letting her be her and following her lead.

She sounds fabulous but please don't stress about pushing her and just enjoy her. She might continue to be very advanced as she gets older or she might become more 'average' (although still every bit as brilliant). Continue to follow her interests, read to her and let her explore and find out about the world. If the physical side of things isn't her strongpoint then give her lots of opportunities to move in different ways and encourage all the physical skills she hasn't got yet :)

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I’m mainly keen on keeping learning fun and have the intention of following her lead on who she wants to be

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

My 18mo son is exactly the opposite of your DD. Very physically able - climbs literally anything, would scale the wall if I put steps on it, can walk up and down the stairs with one hand on the rail, can run and jump, pushes himself along on the scooter bike really well, will run up the big hill in our garden. He is, however, absolutely not interested in language or speaking, seems content with how things are and is more than happy to communicate with gestures. Neither of these things are anything ive done.

My point is that your DD has developed this incredible speech all without any special input from you so whatever you're doing is already great!

Thank you 😊 your sons motor skills are really impressive

You don't need to do much, just let the learning opportunities present themselves naturally and organically and she will flourish

I’ve seen this actually with another child, their physical ability was really behind but their mind was more advanced.
It leveled out with age and pretty standard now with everything.
Just keep supporting her I guess?

Remember that no matter how 'advanced' a child is they don't know anything until you teach them or expose them to it.

Read lots, all sorts of books not just fiction but non-fiction too. Read to her even as she gets older and can read independently, Dd is 12 now and we are reading Lord of the Flies, sometimes we read together sometimes we read separately and chat about it like a book club.

Listen to different types of music.
Go to free activities at the library or other community spaces.
Go to the theatre as she gets older, it isn't always expensive Dd started going from 2.5 years to toddler friendly ones at the local theatre and could sit through West End musicals by 4 when we would go to London for a week and take advantage of the free children's tickets during Kids Week.

Watch documentaries together, horrible histories or when she's bigger or Maddie Moates show on Cbeebies.

To support a bright (or any child) it's all about exposing them to different experiences and expanding their understanding of the world and their vocabulary.

It does sound as if she is a bright child. But just carry on the way you are. No need for any special treatment at her age. But make sure you give plenty of encouragement.

My DD (2 years 5 months) sounds similar to yours. She has a fantastic vocabulary, but she is behind on her physical skills (eg cant jump, cant ride a scooter & hasnt grasped how to use a ride-along yet)

Do as much as you can outside school and bear in mind the curriculum is designed to keep her at the same level as her peers so give her as many opportunities to keep learning and building outside school as possible or home school if you can x

Your dd sounds just like my son, who is now 6. He was a late walker, and still lags behind with physical things but his memory, reading, logic, vocabulary Is phenomenal and he is reading books for way beyond his age. I have him enrolled in physical extra curricular activities he enjoys and take the time to show him how to move his body step by step eg up rope ladders or monkey bars. He gets there. The academic stuff, I am a secondary teacher but have not done anything in particular to push his learning other than having a range of different books in the house, completely getting behind his interests (dinosaurs for 2 years, space, now onto marine life) taking him lots of places he will naturally learn such as museums, aquariums, zoos, wildlife reserves, University family open Days. I provide him with loose parts play and also toys related to his interests - he loves life like figures of dinosaurs or animals etc. Using YouTube, alexa and his tablet for him to do some of his own self led research has been interesting to observe. I make lots of time for whimsical things like the tooth fairy, santa and fairy gardens. I spend lots of time with him learning how to bake, cook or grow things. Lots of real life numeracy and literacy tasks. I haven't done anything in particular to create this very bright spark in him, it's just there naturally I think! Enjoy your daughter, don't over think it too much.

Your friends are seriously suggesting that you think about private school?!

I would focus on supporting his gross motor skills, if that’s something you’ve noticed, definitely. What’s his fine motor/social skills, toilet training like?

Re the learning, I would focus on breadth rather than depth. I’d encourage a love of reading, playing games and enjoying learning. Lots of art, puzzles, outside fun and construction as well!

My DS who's 27 months is clever too. He does the alphabet, counts etc.

He walked at 10 months and climbed, jumped etc from then.

I'd really focus on her physical/motor. It's a big part of the 2 year check. They like to know if they can climb stairs, thread a toy, jump etc.

"I could read at 18 months"

😂 There's always one.

My DD was also advanced in some things at that age. I think as a result she now (at 8) struggles when she doesn't find things easy or doesn't get things straight away. She doesn't have great perseverance and is, to a certain extent, the opposite of a perfectionist. I think it's because she didn't have to work hard (and probably still doesn't TBH) to achieve the expected standard. So I'd suggest working on developing those types of skills - resiliance, perseverance, pride in what she does, etc.

As well as developing physical skills it's as important to nurture social skills. Being able to make and develop friendships as she grows older will probably have a greater impact on her happiness than how good she is at reading or maths.

I walked at 9 months, born 2 months prem, talked non-stop and then my gf died. Dm, told when I was 4 that I'd go to uni and get a good degree, decided I didn't need to be encouraged.
Tbf, she wouldn't have done anyway. Not her style.
I dropped out of uni, no degree.

Imvho, the very best thing any parent can give a child is love and encouragement, as well as books, puzzles, outdoor stuff, too.
The Morrisby evaluation is really big in France as there are so many disaffected teens - including quite a few radical ones - it tells children what they can do, whereas schools often focus on what they can't.

Read to her.

That’s the single most important thing a parent can do with a child.

And agree with others about physical activity.