Anxious Baby?

[JuneJoyce]

Is anyone else’s baby overly sensitive and if so does it pass and do they grow out of it? My 4 month old is very fussy and unsettled 90% of the time, she seems quite anxious and on edge. Can babies be anxious? I’m not sure how else to describe her demeanour, but I'm concerned she's unhappy.

My baby was very unsettled at this age a lot of the time, unless she was in the sling and I had to move around constantly. It was exhausting but it definitely does get better. I'd say from 6 months she required the sling less and less and became gradually happier. She is still sensitive at 14 months (crying if a dog barks or another baby squeals) but she's far more confident and happy.

Does anything work to settle your baby? Have you tried a sling? 4 months is still very small so rest assured that this won't be forever.

My 12week DS is very much what I would call anxious. He's extremely unsettled a lot of the time and he constantly needs attention. For example when we meet other parents their babies are just happily sitting in their arms are laying in their prams whereas my boy needs to be handled and entertained constantly otherwise he'll be grizzling within minutes.

Is this the same sort of thing for you? I really hope it passes...

Is she very alert and watching everything? My daughter was like that from about 10 days old. Once she was mobile everything changed.
I thought all babies were like that until I had my second.

My DS was like that at about that age. Loud noises made him cry, another child touching him ever so slightly made him cry, he just seemed to get very overwhelmed with the smallest thing. He’s just turned 1 and is so much better now, still doesn’t seem to like sudden loud noises but then who does! He can still get a bit overwhelmed especially if he’s not feeling 100% but he is such a happy, smiley little guy now. It definitely gets easier though. Lots of cuddles and close contact will keep him feeling safe.

Yes my daughter was like this (still is ‘high strung’ at 21 months). Have you been to Gp to check for physical issues like reflux? My daughter had bad reflux and colic...being in chronic pain from birth would tend to make anyone pretty anxious and sensitive!

Look up high needs baby. I have one. It's exhausting.

@Alitlebitsleepy Thanks for your response, it's good to hear things got better for you, that's reassuring to hear. I know it's not forever, it just feels like it at the moment! She hates the pram and will only contact nap, but she does quite like the sling (as long as I'm constantly moving). Only breastfeeding and carrying her around helps settle her. I thought this stuff would pass after the fourth trimester but now she sleeps less as she's got older, it's kind of got worse because she's fussy whenever she's awake - and she's awake a lot!

@fawkner Yes! 100%! Mine kicks off in the pram and has absolutely zero chill! She gets bored so quick, she needs my constant attention and will only allow me or my partner to hold her which is so draining!

@JuneJoyce yep it's exhausting! As @Roo0996 says have you checked things like reflux or allergies? DS has both and the paediatrician says his behaviour is because he's "constantly being itched from the inside" which is why he's never relaxed and everything is so intense.

Makes it very hard to leave the house as it's so unpredictable!

@DressedUpAtAnIvy Yep! She's super alert and intense. I kind of think she just doesn't like being a baby! She's desperate to get moving and her little baby body just wont allow it yet! I really hope our experience is like yours and it changes in time...

@dottypencilcase All of that rings true. She definitely fits the description of a high needs baby

@Shefliesonherownwings 'Overwhelmed' is a good description. She's very jumpy and so sensitive to everything that's going on. I hope she settles in time, like yours did

My second was like this. I used to think she hated me because she always seemed so miserable! She had reflux though which was not diagnosed until she was 5 months old, so no wonder she was fed up!

@fawkner @Roo0996 I'm looking into the possibility of their being a stomach issue and I'm currently waiting on some blood test results. I'll keep exploring different options but my instinct is that it's just her temperament and she just needs time...

@OnlyToWin Bless. Did they have many symptoms? Other than being windy (which she definitely is!) I've not noticed any physical issues

She was a breast fed baby - squirmed when fed then screamed and tried to re-latch, arched back then got really frustrated and had a kind of baby tantrum due to being starving but also in pain. Threw up FULL feeds - literally puddles of liquid on the floor! Was told by HV - “babies do cry”. Hmmm not constantly!! Luckily () she lost quite a bit of weight then they took me a bit more seriously and she got some meds (gaviscon) which she was on until she was almost 3.
In hindsight I wish I had given her a dummy and just generally had more info but I was so exhausted I couldn’t see the wood for the trees!

She was super clingy too - Velcro baby. No one else could hold her - not even if they were 5cm away from me.

I would have got a sling too - would like to go back in time and make better decisions but my head was full of cotton wool!! Or so it felt!

I can fully relate @OnlyToWin. There's no time to think or reflect so it's really hard to make any informed or considered choices - particularly with a baby attached to you 24/7. Out of interest, apart from using a dummy (mine will only take one occasionally!) what would you do differently? I look back over the last 4 months and wish I hadn't been so hard on myself, but I'm still my own worse critic!

I would have asked for more help and been more honest about how challenging it was. I would have slept whenever I could have (rather than running around the house) and cut myself more slack. Basically I was in an “I’m fine” mode when I wasn’t.

I would have been firmer and said no to more stuff e.g house renovations!

Later I would have got one of those things they sit in the middle of with lots of activities around them - like a Walker but static. Feel like the upright position would have given me some opportunity not to constantly have to hold her. No idea why I didn’t.

I wouldn’t have tortured myself about having to give up BF before I really wanted to due to having to give gaviscon - much easier to shake into bottle!

Not really baby care stuff - just other stuff to make my life less stressful. Feel like I was probably a bit of a martyr when I didn’t need to be.

If there isn't a medical reason, I would recommend cranial osteopathy.

Alert, high needs baby. I had one, improved with every step towards independence. Now an energetic two year old who needs a lot of stimulation but is super easy because she speaks fluently and can understand even complex explanations.

Sadly DD2 seems to be going the same way. We’re bracing ourselves.

Thanks, @OnlyToWin, wise words. I can relate to this a lot

Thanks, @MrsToadflax, I'll do some research on this. I'll try anything!

Good luck with DD2 @Timeturnerplease. I hope she settles. I honestly don't know if I could have another baby after this one. I love her to bits, but I'm so mentally, emotionally and physically drained. Thank you for giving me some hope that it will eventually get better.x

DD was a gorgeous but very screamy whirlwind (even after we sorted out the CMPA), it lasted until about 18 months. She just hated being a baby and didn’t want to sit in the pram/ car. She was also just so ridiculously active and was running around by 10.5 months. Her motor skills were amazing for her age.

I have twins now and both of them are so far a lot easier than just she was.

My advice is, embrace the contact naps. Snuggle her on the sofa all day. Make yourself lots of cups of tea. If going out stresses you out, stay home. Cuddle her and breastfeed as much as she wants. Leave the room if it all gets to much. It’s a phase and she will outgrow it- do whatever feels easier to get you through the day. Don’t worry about making ‘a rod for your own back’. They grow up and become independent regardless.