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'Play Date' Etiquette

37 replies

ChooseAnotherUsernameAgain · 22/10/2021 17:57

Apologies as I know the term ‘play date’ is cringey as hell, but I don’t know how else to phrase it!

I’ve loosely arranged (as in, nothing properly set in stone just yet!) for dc (4) to go to the park with a friend he’s recently made in reception during half term next week.

I’ve never done a play date before so I don’t know how to approach it. I don’t really know the other parent, we’ve said hello a couple of times, but bar us both having a brief conversation about how our DC’s would like to see each other outside of school and then exchanging numbers, that’s about it.

I’m not sure whether it’s the norm for both myself and the other parent to stay at the park while our DC’s play, given it's the first time for the both of us, or if that would be weird?

For what it’s worth, if my dc and their dc play well together, I’d have no issues with leaving my dc with this other parent a little further down the line, and of course, would happily return the favour.

But seeing as it’s the first time, would I come across as odd for staying?

Truthfully, I’d also quite like to become ‘friends’ with this parent as I don’t have any mum friends, but I’m unsure how to handle this!

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ChooseAnotherUsernameAgain · 22/10/2021 18:40

Okay, I'm 100% going to stay and will not feel weird about it and I seriously hope the other parent stays too!! And I'll keep my fingers crossed that we'll be able to have a coffee and a chat, and hopefully end up making it a semi-regular thing as I could do with the occasional adult conversation!

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Hm2020 · 22/10/2021 18:56

Ours have just gone in to year 3 we all still stay at the park ones but after the first time going with them to the house play dates we usually let them take them on there own if we trust the family that started around year 2!

immersivereader · 22/10/2021 19:25

It's a minefield isn't it op Grin

I'd definitely specify the time too - 'oh we have to leave at 4pm because grandma is coming over/haircut, whatever' because if you don't people will be there all bloody day.

I made the mistake of having a play date last weekend at my house and they stayed for four hours

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ChooseAnotherUsernameAgain · 22/10/2021 19:36

@immersivereader I never would have thought something as simple as two kids playing together would be so confusing!
I didn't want to come across as that overly paranoid mum that can't let her dc out of her sight, but I also didn't want to look like a clingy weirdo for hanging around!

Thankfully, due to all of these replies I can see that it's fine for us both to stay the whole duration during park-type play dates!

I guess I'll have to navigate a whole new bunch of confusions when it comes down to my dc going to someone's house for the first time! Grin

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FatBettyintheCoop · 22/10/2021 21:06

As well as a coffee, I'd have taken some sweets or crisps for the children to share.

Finchall · 22/10/2021 21:58

Awwh, you sound lovely OP. Thoughtful and caring. I hope you and your DC make a new friend.

Opalfeet · 22/10/2021 22:03

Let us know how it goes op.

ChocolateToad · 22/10/2021 22:13

I would always invite parent to stay for a coffee (if it was at my house) the first time
I met them. Once I know them a bit I’d be ok with having their child or leaving my child with them. The important thing is to always be clear in your messages what your expectation is. At 4, in the park, I’d definitely expect both parents to stay. Parties are a bit different from play dates.

ChooseAnotherUsernameAgain · 22/10/2021 22:58

Thank you @Finchall I suspect my Dc has definitely made a best friend. He's the sort to latch on to someone and form a strong bond, so based on that I think I can assume their parent and I will encounter regular play dates!

I hope I make a friend too! I never made any mum friends when dc was at nursery and it always got me down!

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ChooseAnotherUsernameAgain · 22/10/2021 22:59

@Opalfeet I will do! I'll be messaging the parent tomorrow regarding the arrangements with a view to meeting up on either Tuesday or Wednesday. Fingers crossed it goes well! The parent seems lovely as does their dc!

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Opalfeet · 22/10/2021 23:21

Just be yourself I'm sure you will have plenty to chat about

ChooseAnotherUsernameAgain · 23/10/2021 15:48

Well, I've sent a text suggesting soft play instead of the park, and added that we could sit and have a coffee while the kids play - so hopefully that clarifies not only that I won't be leaving, but also that I kind of expect the other parent to hang around too!

Fingers crossed they get back to me!

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