Do you feel like you're doing a good job?

[busybee94]

I just had a call with the perinatal mental health team and they were asking me about parenting my three month old. One of the questions was how I felt I was doing as mum! I found this so hard to answer, so wondered what others would have said!

I feel like i try my best, (5 children here), no matter if im ill , exhausted, good day, bad day etc. But i also lay in bed every single night criticising myself and wondering if ive done/been enough.

No I don't.
Five year old and four month old here

Nope! I really try (everyone is fed, clothed, we keep to their routines, not on screens all day, etc etc) but a good job? I'm not sure I'll ever get there.

Good enough would always be my answer, and that's as good as it needs to be. Perfection is unrealistic, slips are fine as long as they're backed by being good enough a majority of the time and honestly, most people can manage that.

With my birth children when they were that age? No, I was far too hard on myself. They are now adults and, looking back, I did my best and that was plenty good enough.

An odd question for them to ask.

I'm doing a fantastic job, thanks

@Echobelly

Good enough would always be my answer, and that's as good as it needs to be. Perfection is unrealistic, slips are fine as long as they're backed by being good enough a majority of the time and honestly, most people can manage that.

Yes, this. All you can do is your best on any given day. Nobody can ask for any more than that, it's good enough.

Believe me, if you love your kids and show them affection, feed them, keep them clean, spend time with them talking to them and taking them out, you’re doing a really good job.

What a baby needs is responsive care. If you give a shit what the baby needs and try to provide it, you’re perfect.

Honestly at 3 months if your baby is fed and changed and in clean clothes, with trips outside and cuddles, you are doing enough!

My ds is 3 and my parenting is on occasional brilliant, but for the most part good enough. Ds knows he is loved and adored and he's warm and safe with food in his belly.

Parenting is so hard and relentless.
I have a 3 year old and am often complimented on what a great job I’m doing with him. We are always either swimming, cycling, out on adventures and people comment how much I do with him but it’s purely to keep us both sane and not because I’m a good parent. He eats really well, loads of fruit and vegetables, but I think that was just luck that he likes them rather than anything I did.
Im not a natural parent and parts of parenting I dislike, but we love each other and we do our best. We are a little team.