Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

My son is going to get me beaten up

18 replies

MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 15:40

I've just learnt that my youngest son (the demon child) was thrown out of the assembly today...the reason...he was laughing at and taking the piss out of a year 4' girl's birth mark.

I just happen to know that this girls mother is incredibly intolerant of ANYONE saying ANYTHING about her kids, shes a bit of a hard case...once chased a teacher around the school for saying something to her daughter.

I have no doubt in my mind that if she finds out about this she will come after me and possibly/probably become violent.

What on earth am I going to do with him? How do I handle the current situation?

I'm thinking of making an apointment with the school to get them to talk to him about bullying but this could ensure that the other girls mother finds out when otherwise she might not.

Immoral or not, I would much rather she didnt find out!

Apart from that, he came out of school, persisted in kicking a huge puddle and nearby parents, snall children...I grabbed him, made him stand with me whilst waiting for DS1 and he began to bite my hand, shout, pull away...mostly for the benefit of his adoring audience (friends who think he's hilarious) but I swear I felt like pushing him in the bloody puddle.

What can I do with him?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 15:41

that should read:

kicking a huge puddle AT nearby parents, small children

OP posts:
ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 10/12/2007 15:42

How old is he?

Original poster
MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 15:42

he's 7.

OP posts:
ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 10/12/2007 15:44

Is he normally like this?

I would instigate a fairly major punishment for the assembly incident and a long hard talk.

Curmudgeonlett · 10/12/2007 15:44

you have a year 4 child? .. she's going to tell her mother

can you not take the initiative and approach her with huge apologies and tell her that you are furious with him and dealing with it?

you need to get DS to apologise too, and understand what bullying means .. find out from school how they are handling it

7 is old enough to know much better IMO

ChocFudgeCake · 10/12/2007 15:47

I cannot be of help because I am actually about to post about my issues with my aggressive son , so I just want to wish you good luck with that scary mum

mumblechum · 10/12/2007 15:50

Agree with Curmudgeon, take the initiative, your ds should write a letter of apology to the little girl and should have approp. punishment at home. As for the biting, etc, he sounds like he really needs bringing back into line!

Does your dh help with "bad cop" discipline?

PorpoiseOnEarth · 10/12/2007 15:50

Poor you, Mrs Snape! Nightmare...

Dses are routinely HORRIBLE at 7, though.

Small comfort I know but...

Original poster
MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 15:51

yes my eldest son (completely different to DS2) is in her class. I'm not sure if the girl was aware of it as she was collecting an award at the time.

And yes he is always like this. I've posted a few times about him. He's being monitored at the moment with a view to being assessed within 18 months but lately I'm not even sure I can wait that long. He depresses me and half the time I don't even feel like being nice to him. He has a very nasty side to his personality and on the odd occasion I feel like I don't like him much which I know sounds horrible but he shows me up all the time, he embarrasses DS1, he shouts things at older kids and causes arguments in the street.

Last friday I saw DS1 (year 4) being surrounded by a group of year 5 boys...turns out DS2 had kicked one of them, done a runner so they went after DS1 instead.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 10/12/2007 15:54

Oh, dear, sounds like a handful

Do uyou have any idea what's at the root of his behaviour?

Original poster
MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 16:05

I honestly dont have a clue. I've cut out e-numbers, done everything people have advised me to do, star charts dont work...

A while ago he was told off (or rather shouted at) by one of the "scariest' teachers and he stood there and laughed in her face.

He doesnt give a shit. I took him to karate and he played the instructor up (all the other kids are hugely respectful of the instructor and in a way...intimidated by him) but not DS.

His dad doesn't live here and tbh, he's not a lot of help anyway.

I'm currently keeping a diary for the psych and today is the first entry...

  1. got thrown out of assembly after being told off twice by two seperate teachers. Came out of school and kicked puddles at a group of parents and toddlers. Bit mothers arm in protest at being held. Walked home and continually laughed about the bullying of a girl. Continued kicking puddles at adults. Threatened a year 6 boy who was riding past on his bike. Almost ran into the road causing a cyclist to swerve into the road...luckily no oncoming cars....

And thats just ONE day and its just the stuff I know about, god knows what else he has done during the day or what he will do later on.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 10/12/2007 16:09

No real advice, but lots of sympathy.

I'm glad you're getting an assesment, at least. Have you read Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph? I found it particularly interesting that from age 7, boys need their dad more than their mum, so if his dad isn,t around, it may help to have some other positive role model. Not easy when most primary teachers are female.

Good luck and stick with it. No matter how horrid he may seem on the surface, he'll always be your little boy and you need to keep reassuring him all the time that you love him. It's incredible just how much reassurance they need sometimes.

Original poster
MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 16:13

Yes I have that book, I've not read it since ds2 was a baby so I might get back into it tonight.

He see's his dad once a fortnight and came back from there yesterday...maybe this explains the nightmare day he's had.

Sometimes I feel like dropping him off there, saying 'good luck, dad' and walking away with a smile but I suppose that kind of thing is just for the movies lol

OP posts:
NAB3littlemonkeys · 10/12/2007 16:22

I think it is a bad idea to write to the mother. Sounds like she would kick off big time. I would speak to the school and ask for help there. I think things that happen in school should be dealt with by school as much as possible with you speaking to him on your own, of course.

Original poster
MrsSnape · 10/12/2007 16:41

Another thing as well is he is constantly rude. On friday night he was going on about "sucking boobies" or something. He mooned the school when he was standing on the wall as punishment for bad behaviour. He is constantly going on about willies etc and he went through a phase of going on about "shagging" and I didn't know where he was getting from. (turned out to be his dads girlfriends son).

He seems to have an unhealthy interest in peoples bodies but he's been near nobody that could have shown him inapropriate stuff.

OP posts:
PorpoiseOnEarth · 10/12/2007 16:58

And what do you do, Mrs S, when he does this?

Not judging (I have a ds of 7 too) but interested

mumblechum · 10/12/2007 17:48

I didn't mean Mrs Snape should write to the mother, but the boy should write a letter of apology to the girl, but at the time hadn't realised the girl was unaware of Mrs s's ds's comments about the birthmark, so prob. best to keep quiet at this point.

NAB3littlemonkeys · 11/12/2007 18:00

Any developments?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page