Social Serivce Involvement

[takemetothelakesx]

Please note there are potential triggers in this post related to sexual images of children.

Hello,

This can easily turn very long winded but I’m going to try and keep it short & sweet!

Basically I am a mother to 2 DC. My DS (4) is severely disabled on account of a genetic condition. My DD (6 months) is healthy & well with no problems.

My son attends a special school and I recently reached out to a social worker for assistance in applying for Direct Payments (basically a form of support so that I can ‘hire’ one of his teaching assistants or even a family member to come and help me in the home at particularly difficult times of the day). This is a specialist Learning Disability social worker who seems lovely, we got along well etc. All fine.

Last week, I went out for the first time since my daughter was born with my best friend. As DS’s needs are very extreme, my partner stayed home with DS & my mum had my DD overnight for the first time.

In the morning, whilst DD was still at my mums house, the police turned up. Long story short (!) my 17 year old DB has been sexting with his 17 year old girlfriend, they have been sending images back & forth and the girls father has found out & reported them both. Because they are under 18 they are now both in serious trouble with the police for taking & distributing child pornography (they are both classed as children as under 18, and because they have taken pictures of themselves they have committed a crime).

As my DD was at my mums house, the police officers have had to write a report to social services about this as my DB is not allowed any unsupervised contact with my children whilst investigations are ongoing (not that I would ever have a 17 year old having unsupervised contact with them anyway). I have received a phone call from our social worker today saying that she needs to come & speak to me about these events and has made an appointment.

I am a healthcare professional myself & understand why this is necessary etc but I can’t help but worry about what this means now, what will happen etc. In all honesty I very rarely see my brotheras he has just started at college & I am nearly 10 years older than him, and since we don’t live with my parents so we don’t interact very often.

Naturally I understand how serious this all is on his part, but now all I can think about is me, my partner & my children & what this means for us! My imagination is rapidly spiralling and I wish I would have just asked her for a bit more information over the phone, but I still feel really overwhelmed and am in complete shock at it all to be honest.

If anyone has any knowledge of this or what might happen next I would really appreciate it to ease my mind.

This of course ended up being much longer than I had planned but thanks if you made it this far!

Oh gosh I have no advice but I am sure that common sense must come into play in situations like this!

You have done nothing wrong op just remember that!

I think they'll want reassurance that you'll keep your DC safe and don't minimise or normalise Db's behaviour. They need to know you take it seriously. It sounds as though you do anyway. You wouldn't ever leave your DC alone with db or his gf and your dm will have to come to your house to see your DC.

Yes as pp says they will be assessing whether you understand any potential risks to your child (although the circumstances do not really indicate this, but still) and that you are willing and able to protect. Can understand the worry but I’m sure it will be a brief chat, unless there’s more to the situation that you don’t know.

All they are concerned about is what contact your DB will have with his DC. As long as he is having no contact and definitely no unsupervised contact with your DC, everything will be fine.

IMO, it's totally ridiculous that two people over the age of legal consent as being treated in this way, but that is another thread entirely.

I’m a social worker and @Hullbilly is right. Your social worker has to come and speak to you to ensure you are safeguarding your children. They have a statutory duty. That’s all it will be.

Just tell the sw what you put in your post. It'll be fine.

Sexting teens are a issue for child protection but all your social worker needs to do is have the conversation about unsupervised contact and any concerns you may have about your dc.
It is as Luzina says a statutory talk they need to have. ( also a SW)

I have been in a similar position and they just had various bits of advice they had to give me. It's unnerving and seems odd to class a 17 yr old sexting his girlfriend as a danger to a baby but I guess it's for a good reason.

Wow! I mean stupid on their part and they need protecting from themselves, but can't see how this impacts anyone else.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. I agree, I completely understand the seriousness of this and that they need protecting from themselves and whilst I also understand that it seems a reach I do completely understand why he will not be allowed unsupervised contact with the children until everything is ironed out & sorted with the police.

I think because I am a healthcare professional myself I have been working myself up into a panic over what this might mean for me! I know that it sounds silly since I don't live with my brother, it has nothing to do with me or my children etc but I still can't help but worry. I have never come across this before with two teenagers so I just really didn't know what to expect when our social worker comes round. I do feel so much better after reading your responses so thank you again.