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Parenting

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Original poster

Help - how do I know whether to delay my August born going to school??

33 replies

Rosebud1302 · 19/10/2021 22:46

I am so confused and worried about this. My son is August born and is therefore due to start school next year, just after his 4th birthday. This feels so young to me and I can't help but think about it. I thought I had decided to go ahead and apply but now I'm not sure. Am I doing the right thing sending him - how do I know whether he will be ready?! Are there certain signs of development I should look out for? I don't have any concerns academically as such as much as you can do with a 3 year old. But he has always been a sensitive, shy and quiet child and I get so upset thinking he might be "lost" in school if he goes too early.

Can anyone share any stories - positive or negative? Any advice would be greatly appreciated especially about what "signs" to look out for!!

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KeyErro · 19/10/2021 22:49

Whereabouts are you? In England, reception is very play-based.
Unless your son has significant additional needs, there's no real value in delaying school start.

Original poster

Rosebud1302 · 19/10/2021 22:51

@KeyErro thank you. I'm in the South East. I guess it was more worrying about year 1 onwards in all honesty as I hear it really ramps up and I worry about him being that year younger.

OP posts:

Tigersteakpie · 19/10/2021 22:55

As a teacher, if you can afford another year of childcare, I personally don't see why you wouldn't hold him back.

Plenty of summer borns do really well at school, but some also find it quite hard and do struggle needlessly for a few years. Those who do well will do well if delayed, and those who will struggle may benefit from the delayed start.

I honestly see no cons at all other than the cost of an additional year of childcare.

Interested in this thread?

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3 year olds Families General education General parenting

bettertimesarecomingnow · 19/10/2021 23:01

Does he go to nursery? Ask them what their advice would be as they will usually be spot on.

Original poster

Rosebud1302 · 20/10/2021 08:17

@Tigersteakpie thank you for your advice. I won't lie, childcare costs are difficult. We can't not afford it and I know I shouldn't let that be a drivin factor. Of course my son will always come first. But it is a struggle.

@KeyErro thank you yes I think I will do that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rosebud1302 · 20/10/2021 08:17

Oooops sorry tag fail! I meant @bettertimesarecomingnow

OP posts:

rrhuth · 20/10/2021 08:20

@Tigersteakpie

As a teacher, if you can afford another year of childcare, I personally don't see why you wouldn't hold him back.

I honestly see no cons at all other than the cost of an additional year of childcare.

Yes I agree, you get to buy your child a whole extra year of education, so he has better chances at GCSE, A-levels etc.

People sell it as holding back, but really it is buying extra schooling.

MissDollyMix · 20/10/2021 08:21

I have a summer born son who is 11 now and academically fine but I think he would have benefitted socially from being one of the oldest instead of being one of the youngest and smallest. He avoids all sport because of his size which is a shame because that seems to be how the majority of boys play and socialise. My younger child has a winter birthday but hers was one of the first years in which deferment was a feasible option. All the august birthdays in her class are the oldest - she didn’t even know that in some cases August children can be the youngest (it all came about when she told me she wished she had an august birthday so she could be the oldest in the class!)

Sally872 · 20/10/2021 08:26

I think there are benefits to being older child in year. If delaying means he starts reception a year later rather than skips reception and you have the option to defer ie can afford another year of nursery fees etc then I would wait a year.

Marikali · 20/10/2021 09:03

My feelings are that it is very young and if in doubt hold him back a year. The fear that kids will miss out is misguided and its much more important that they feel ready to go. Follow your gut and listen to your child. :)

BlueChampagne · 20/10/2021 11:43

Entirely depends on the child. My end of August DS1 is now in Y10 and has always done fine.

Original poster

Rosebud1302 · 20/10/2021 18:34

Thanks @BlueChampagne - did you always know you were going to send him when he was 4? How did you know he was "ready" if that makes sense?

OP posts:

ThirdElephant · 20/10/2021 18:41

Following because I'm struggling with this for my June-born.

My only concerns are: the potential for censure from her peers when she gets to secondary school (and that then I would be to blame for holding her back, in her eyes) and potentially having to fight it again at every school transition.

gogohm · 20/10/2021 18:45

I'm August born, I would have been very annoyed at my parents if I still had a year of school to go at 18! I went to university 3 weeks after turning 18

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 20/10/2021 18:48

Check what happens in your local authority, or the chain if the school is an academy, when they are older. Sometimes they have to go straight into year 1 when they start school, which means they have missed the reception provision, and sometimes they have to go straight from year 5 to year 7 so they start secondary school with their cohort.

Also remember he won't be a year younger than everyone. He will only be a few weeks younger than some of the other children

CaptainChannel · 20/10/2021 18:51

I've got a quiet, shy July born boy. I didn't defer and I'm really glad - he is totally fine. Unless you have a general academic concern I wouldn't bother. I teach secondary and any gaps due to birth date are closed by year 7 as long as they don't have an addition need.

RedMarauder · 20/10/2021 18:51

OP I second ask nursery.

They will tell you clearly if they think your DS isn't ready for school.

Heathofhares · 20/10/2021 18:53

@Tigersteakpie

As a teacher, if you can afford another year of childcare, I personally don't see why you wouldn't hold him back.

I honestly see no cons at all other than the cost of an additional year of childcare.

I just wanted to add that children who are delayed are still funded for their 30 hours... six terms instead of 5 for an autumn born child.

My 29.08 born DC has just started year 3. I have yet to experience any downsides... although the argument that reception is play based and just like nursery may hold - the year 1 transition is much harder at just 5.

I would recommend joining the facebook group -Flexible admission for summer borns - for support and informed advice.

gab254 · 20/10/2021 18:53

From what I have been told - if you hold them back a year, they won't do reception the following year, it would be straight into year 1.

The reason for this, is because if they go into reception, a year behind their peers, at secondary level, they would be put into year 8, not year 7 because they can't be out of their age group in secondary school (unless very exceptional circumstances).

You need to find that out, what are the ongoing consequences of holding back a year.

My August born child went to school less than 2 weeks after turning 4, which seemed wild to me (and still does) but they have been fine and now they are 7, they have loved every moment of school. But of course that's just my experience, it won't be universal obviously.

Like others have said - reception is a fun year, they learn so much, through play and it's a year I wouldn't want my child to have missed

jennyt82 · 20/10/2021 18:54

I have a late August born. He did struggle slightly up until year 3 but he was never too far behind, he was also painfully shy and that was half the problem really. Socially he was head and shoulders above his older brother who has a September birthday, he would if been really upset if all the friendshe made at school nursery had moved up to reception and he was left behind. He's now in year 8 at secondary school and doing great in all subjects.

Heathofhares · 20/10/2021 18:54

Sorry to clarify my Dc was deferred entry so started in Reception at 5.

Heathofhares · 20/10/2021 18:56

It is a common misconception that a child will have to miss Reception if they start at compulsory school age - since 2014 this has not been the case.

Version4needsabitofwork · 20/10/2021 18:58

My son's birthday is the end of July and I wavered about delaying him. I asked the pre-school setting he attended a couple of mornings a week and they said they thought he was ready. He's a fast learner and very socially aware. I sent him in and don't regret it at all. He's now year 4 and thriving. I think he'd hate being the year below, would have been bored being kept back and would have hated being so much older than the rest of the class (although he's very competitive, so would probably have liked coming first at sporting events). For my son, being the youngest in the class pushes him academically and that's what he needed.

TLDR: they all learn at their own pace and have individual needs - if you trust your nursery providers, ask them!

soapboxqueen · 20/10/2021 19:00

@Heathofhares

It is a common misconception that a child will have to miss Reception if they start at compulsory school age - since 2014 this has not been the case.

To my knowledge, parents can apply to have their child enter in reception rather rather than year 1 but that it isn't a right and the school/Council /admissions can refuse. There is no appeals process.

Has this changed?

BlueChampagne · 20/10/2021 19:03

My DS1 is socially outgoing, academically able, not particularly small (his Dad is 6'2"!), and he thrived at pre-school, so it was an easy decision for us. I think had he been an early September baby, it would have been harder! And I'd be lying if I said that not having to pay full-time childminding fees for two wasn't a bonus.

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