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Feelings after the newborn stage

9 replies

ohthestruggles · 19/10/2021 20:42

Has anyone else been really confused by their feelings once the baby blues and euphoric moments have passed? I think because I'm not having so many really highs and really lows anymore I'm left questioning what this middle ground is. My baby is 4 months old. I love my son, I don't feel depressed in the slightest, but I worry a lot. He hasn't had a day or night away from us atall yet, 2/3 hours has been the most, but today I went to the hairdressers and was away for about 4 hours between that and going shopping, I thought about him and checked in with my DP that he was okay, but I enjoyed my time away Confused I haven't enjoyed being away for that long before. Now that my erratic feelings of the first weeks are gone I'm left wondering if this stabilisation in feelings is normal and wether I love him enough Shock FTM please be gentle!

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Kindertonguehappierlife · 19/10/2021 20:46

That’s totally normal OP!
You’re allowed to feel multiple things at once. You’re allowed to check in on him and think about him but still enjoy time away. Everyone needs a break.

DressedUpAtAnIvy · 19/10/2021 20:48

The better you feel when you’re away the more you’ll have to give him when you go back.
Sounds at the good end of normal to me.

Original poster
ohthestruggles · 19/10/2021 20:50

I think it's because I haven't spent much time away from him atall, because I haven't wanted to, that I am now worrying that when I do leave him it's becoming easier maybe it means we haven't bonded 😬 nobody tells you about these horrendous self inflicted guilt trips 😂

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Ididanamechange · 19/10/2021 20:50

Mine are 4 and 15 months and I feel I spend huge amounts of time trying to arrange brief childfree time then as soon as I get it I miss them and feel guilty im not with them. Totally normal

Gwlondon · 19/10/2021 20:55

Don’t worry.

Gwlondon · 19/10/2021 20:58

Sometimes it will be easy to leave and sometimes hard. You are doing fine!

Original poster
ohthestruggles · 19/10/2021 21:19

I think it's the days that we don't do very much and I have time to think, I think 'do I love you enough?' And then I think of the things we have done and the things we have planned like starting swimming and I can't wait to see his little face when he's splashing in the water Grin

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Luckyelephant1 · 20/10/2021 04:23

My dd is approaching 4 months and I went out for the first time without her for a couple of hours last week to get my nails done and run a couple of errands. Sure, I thought about her and missed her a bit but I also enjoyed the break. A tiny bit of mum guilt was there but we are definitely entitled to a break. I think there’s so much crap online you can read about mothers never leaving their children for months and months or strangers making silly comments like ‘wow I could never leave them that young’ but it’s all bullshit really. Of course you love your child enough, it’s clear in your posts about looking forward to swimming and also the fact that you haven’t wanted to leave him until now because you do love him so much. Enjoy the breaks!

Val2021 · 20/10/2021 11:26

My son is 4.5 months and I love him unconditionally… But I also LOVE my me time! Nothing at all to worry about Smile

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