Anyone has any tips on how not to lose my rag at my toddler?

[AliceAyres]

I have always found my 1,5 year old increasingly stressful, he's always been very whingy since birth. There always seems to be something wrong or something to be upset about. He is lovely around other people but 1-1 with me he is constantly whinging. I wish I was exaggerating but he seems miserable in my company. The last 3-4 months in particular he's honestly doing my head in. I love him but he is such hard work and there are times where I end up shouting at him which I know is completely unacceptable but he tests my patience like no one else can. Any book or tips on how to deal with this? I really don't want him to remember me as a shouty, angry mum all of the time.

Not to be a drip feed. He's been walking confidently since 11 months. Has food allergies but they're taken care of. Doesn't really tall yet. A lot of babbling and pointing though. I've tried distracting him with toys when he goes into full on meltdown. Doesn't help. Ignoring the behaviour doesn't help either. So any tricks, anything at all? Thanks!

What’s his day like? Lots of fresh air, activity etc?

Hi.
I have one of these. Keeping him busy helps, change if scenery when he's very whingy and going outside. Also I think his whinging comes from not feeling like I understand him. I always ask him to 'show mummy what you want?' and he usually takes my hand and shows me, which stops the whinging straight away.

My best advice if you feel yourself getting really wound up, try and walk away for a minute. Make sure he's safe and just walk into another room for a minute. Take a breather. Then come back to him.
I think at that age they get frustrated with things and short attention spans often mean they get bored and I think that's why they whine and play up at times.
Keep him busy as much as possible and I think a change of scene helps in those situations so coats on and go in the garden or a walk round the block.

Yeh. Childminder 5 days a week but she's constantly outside with them which he loves. Same for weekends. Rain or sunshine. We're always at the park/soft play etc. Staying inside with him is not an option. Full on hysterics then.

Mine gets really whiney when we stay inside. I make sure I get outside to do something at least once a day, sometimes twice - walk in the woods, trip to the park, go to the beach. Literally anything outside. I find then hes more likely to play nicely when we're in. He also sleeps better when we go outside too.

Sometimes it doesnt work though amd thats when Little Baby Bum or Numberblocks gets put on tv!

Have a read if Philippa Perry’s book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read. Good info in there about how to manage tricky emotions form your kid.

I do the distraction thing but not with toys. I'd be like let's look out the window and see if we can see a doggy or a lorry? Ok can you see any doggies?!
I find taking them into a new room or different area helps too.
Switching on or off a light. Running water. Stuff like that.

I also ask if he wants a cuddle and sometimes he does.

I find these times happen when they are tired or hungry.

Also I give him little 'jobs' to do - 'can you help me put the fruit in the bowl?' (I empty the fruit bowl so he can put it in). 'Can you help me put the potatoes in this bag?' (Again - the potatoes dont need to go in the bag, its just stuff for him to do). 'Can you help me feed the cats?' (He just waves cat food pouches around but hes 'helping'). Keeps him occupied a bit.

I used to imagine super nanny type cameras all over my house. It made me not lose my rag because I imagined being judged by others.

Otherwise keeping the little blighters busy, lots of time outside and giving them the tools to talk about feelings (I’m particularly crap at this) helps.

My youngest is 14 now and I’m occasionally nostalgic for the early days. Needed a reality check, thank you.

Mine was not allowed to be whiney and I never give up to a tantrum.

Things that I think helped were:

• Baby signing (less than 10 signs did all the work)
• Ensuring he spent a couple of hours a day in the park/play area, whatever.

-recognising when the kid is getting overloaded, at that time the last thing they need is further stimulation, at that time a bit of time watching a kids program was the best bet.

He was very hyper but thrives in routines, and also, you need to consider how much you are sleeping. Dealing with an active toddler when you are exhausted is never going to end well, as your threshold of tolerance is very low when you are tired.

… and yes, take a few minutes off when you feel you are about to explode, at that time is better to put them in a safe place and take a few minutes away of them. They may cry, but if it is better if the cry a bit than having them crying because mum lost her rag.