DD won't take bottle, I have to go back to work

[LaMadrilena]

Firstly, I'm in Spain so only get 5m-ish maternity leave. DD is currently exclusively breastfed, and I have to go back to work in a month (DH will be taking over till nursery in January), so we need to get her to accept a bottle, and she just won't. We've tried 7 different teats, with formula and expressed milk. She's happy to play around with the teats, but she refuses to suck.

DH is saying we need to just withhold the breast till she gets the hang of the bottle, but that just sounds awful. I don't know what else we can do though.

We supplemented her with bottle/formula the first couple of weeks on the paediatrician's recommendation just due to being small/constant suckling. I feel so stupid now for not keeping it up, but I thought I was doing the right thing.

Any ideas? I'm getting really worried...

I don't think withholding the breast I.e starvation is the right thing to do. How long have you been trying?

Have you tried offering it halfway through a feed? Or syringe? Or maybe even a cup? I found the halfway through a feed eventually worked and giving mine a bottle of milk to play with, he eventually started sucking! Hope something works soon! I wouldn't like the idea of withholding either!

Why does she have to have a bottle? My son never had a bottle, he went straight from breast to cup. There are a few difderent styles of cups for babies available. Maybe someone will have to help her hold it at first but as long as she is drinking it shouldn't matter.

Leave the room/house and get your husband to try giving the bottle. Make sure you tickle the roof of her mouth with the teat to trigger the suckling reflex. Or try using a doidy cup rather than a bottle.

To be honest if baby gets hungry they will feed. I didn't go back to work at that age with my daughter but I did used to go out for a few hours at a time occasionally. She survived on a couple of ounces and then just made up for it when I got back.

Don't withhold breast though, it will be a big adjustment going to childcare and baby will want the comfort as much as anything.

I was really worried about this with my first baby, I went back to work when she was 11 months. She was absolutely fine, and just ate meals/snacks/had water or milk in a sippy cup at nursery. She breastfed when she was with me. I guess your dd might not be established on solids so well if you have a shorter maternity leave?

Don't panic and don't withhold feeding. When you are away the baby will associate different feeding patterns with different settings. Just go with it.

Has your husband offered the bottle when you are out the house? That worked for usx if my dd knew i was there she would refuse bottles, but would take one from dp when i wasn't there.

Have you tried heating up the milk to similar temp to body temp?

My DD was the same. Went back to work when she was 5.5 months, EBF, completely point blank refused bottles. I was so worried!

When there was no other option she accepted the bottle. Nursery swaddled her the first week or so when feeding her, but she got used to it very quickly. It will be fine
I also continued breastfeeding at home until she was over a year old. I expressed at work, she had a mix of the expressed milk and formula.

My first baby would never take a bottle if I was around. Many sleepless nights worrying about it, then the first bottle he was offered when I was out of the house he downed it in seconds. Maybe it will be similar for your little one.

I went back after 6m and my DD was the same, tried going out for a whole day which has worked for others but not my DD she still refused.
On our Health visitors recommendation we started to wean a little earlier and she loved food.
I would bf'd before work and in the evening and the nursery would still offer a bottle in the day as well as any foods we had already tried with her.
Slowly she started to take a bottle, was never what would call a full feed but enough to keep her going during the day.

Mine never did, even when I had to leave her for 24 hours at 5 months old. She eventually took the lansinoh momma sippy cups at around 6 months old.

I'd consider starting solids a few weeks early so she can have them at nursery and she'll have loads of milk at home when she's with you if she still won't take a bottle at nursery.

My ebf was a bottle refuser until 6 months. Feeding her lying down with her head on one side (like breastfeeding) worked in the end, but only once I got determined. I never withheld food but also started ignoring the head tossing and grumpy crying and persevered until she suddenly gave in one day and never looked back.

Mine did this.

Pick one bottle & one teat and one brand of milk. Offer the same twice a day (eg one morning feed and one after-nap feed) for about 15 mins each time. Then switch to breast.

Keep this routine up precisely for 2 weeks and baby will learn to have the bottle. The consistency is the key thing.

Thanks everyone, sorry for not getting back earlier. We've not made much progress. We've tried keeping to a routine of one bottle in the morning and one at night, we're heating the milk a bit more than before, I give her a bit of breast first, and I disappear and leave poor DH to it. She's still refusing and getting hysterical. We're going carry on trying, and I think I'll try a sippy cup too. Although I tried spoonfeeding her formula just as a one offto serif she'd swallow it, and she wasn't too impressed with that either. I'll update either way. Thanks again for your support!

*as a one off to see if she'd swallow it. Sigh.

Out of interest, why have you picked a morning & night bottle, rather than daytime? When you go to work you’ll be able to do the first morning feed and a bedtime one, if you want to carry on breastfeeding, so do the daytime bottles instead? Then you can go out for a few days - entirely out of the house, go sit in a coffee shop - and see how it goes then?

My DC1 was a nightmare with a bottle- eventually would drink just enough to get by during the day with childminder (half quantities of any bottle either formula or expressed breast milk) and make up for it feeding evening/weekend and solids. A doidy cup or sippy cup was more popular than a bottle too.

My DC went from breast to cup at that age and then lots of breast feeding at night and in the early morning.Similarly I minded DN at a similar age, breast only previously, I just kept offering g liquids via spoon, beaker and cup.Mine could also manage a straw at that age as an alternative..you will almost certainly find that they will do it when not with you and a bit hungry. It is stressful but you can't withhold the breast and nor should you be anywhere around while your DP is offering a bottle.

@NoSquirrels We try in the morning because she's always in a good mood! No particular reason for night, apart from it being the other end of the day to morning! You're right, daytime would make more sense.

I went back to work at 5.5 months with DC1. 14 hr days 3x per week. I was incredibly stressed as bottle's and cups of expressed milk were refused. DC eventually took 20ml from a doidy cup if I wasn't in sight. Within the first week of me working DC was bottle feeding fine with EBM. There was a fair bit of night feeding too but it really was fine. DC2 is a different personality entirely and will take 30ml formula from a bottle even if I'm around so I'm hopeful it will be easier!

Firstly- just to say…I feel you…but don’t stress…I could have written your post word for word two months ago. I also went back when my little one was 6.5 months, and we tried everything in the month before…and still in our trial week at nursery it wasn’t working! Finally we had a break through and it all came together before she started for real and now she is drinking from the bottle like a pro (still breastfeeding morning and night) Not saying this will work…but worth a try…what worked for us…giving her the bottle outside in a different location from normal feeding.

I'll be honest I haven't read other replies so sorry if repeating. I had similar issue (although luckily wasnt urgent need for me!).

I would start her off on the boob then pop her off it and slip the bottle in. The bottle only had breast milk in.

Eventually she would take the bottle without fuss BUT only from me. Took so many weeks for her to take it from hubby. Was exhausting!!

Just updating to say... still nothing. Now less than a week to go before I have to leave DD with DH I'm for 9+ hours at a time.

We've tried more different bottles, latex teats, different surroundings, sippy cup, my SIL giving the bottle, giving her breast then slipping bottle in, and DD is still refusing.

This morning I just went out and left DH and DD to it, but when I came back she was still refusing and hysterical. DH wanted to hold out longer, but I'm worried about dehydration apart from her being hungry, so she's now had a breastfeed.

DH is really stressed as he's going to have to deal with it next week. Obviously I'm worried too, but DH is a grumpy stresser and difficult to live with today. I'm trying to stay positive on the outside for DD and that annoys him even more!

Any last minute tips? Please?

Just posted the same on a similar thread yesterday but what worked for us was not withholding breast entirely but withholding it for one feed. Ie. If you're trying to get her to take a bottle and eventually relenting and breastfeeding her then of course she's holding out. Mine was a bit older when I had to go back to work (we did this around 8.5 months) but what we did was transition one feed at a time. We picked a day to start doing the 10am feed as a bottle and from that day forward she never had boob at 10am again. She could obviously have boob when the next feeding time came around a few hours later. We swapped a feed over to bottle every three days (daytime feeds only, I kept breastfeeding morning and evening) and once each one was swapped there was no going back. And DP did the first bottle feed when I was out of the house - lots of protest but she had some and it was much easier than I expected after that. I think this is the only way - if it feels miserable, remember that she'll get fed again in a few hours and she's not going to starve herself - once you're back at work she will very likely decide that the bottle is acceptable after all though of course it's nicer to do it gradually rather than going off all day feeds cold turkey

This morning I just went out and left DH and DD to it, but when I came back she was still refusing and hysterical. DH wanted to hold out longer, but I'm worried about dehydration apart from her being hungry, so she's now had a breastfeed.

Is it the first time you’ve been out?

How long were you out for and when did she last feed before you gave a breastfeed?

I’m sorry to say that the only way through is really to harden your heart and your DH was probably right to leave it a bit longer.

You need to stop trying too much new stuff, have a plan and stick to it.

You not being there, DH with a bottle, keep trying.

It will probably be a bit awful and distressing on everyone but it will be OK in the end I promise.

Your little one is independent minded & one day you’ll be glad of that as she’ll be a woman who knows her own mind but right now it’s not working for you!

No lasting trauma will be done if you hold out for a longer period, I promise. Your DH is right, even if it goes against your instinct. That’s why you need to not get around whilst they’re figuring it out together.

One of mine never took a bottle and would gag on dummies.
The only respite I got was when he learned to use a sippy cup.