"Yes day" - would you ever do it?

[MayorGundersonsDogRufus]

DD (8) has become preoccupied with the idea of having a 'yes day' - like the film, where she is in charge for a day. We are tempted and think it might be fun, but are also quite nervous that she want to do some crazy stuff. It would obviously need clear ground rules (which I'm still working on), but I wondered if anyone had done one and how it worked out?

I can't imagine anything worse! Isn't the point that there aren't any ground rules so that they go too far and learn their lesson that it isn't all fun being in charge?!

Yes! We did it and it was great. I gave my kids (8 and 6) a budget and a distance limit, and like the movie, the rule that they couldn't choose anything that lasted longer than the day (ie no buying pets). TBH they were more conservative with what they asked for than I expected!

We went to a theme park and a trampoline place, ate a lot of junk food, my daughter chose my outfit and did my makeup, they had way too many lollies (and learned the appropriate lesson after feeling off-colour afterwards), and stayed up late watching movies. It was such a fun day that we're going to do it every year.

10/10 definitely recommend.

Couldn't you just ask what kind of things she wants to do?

My DD wanted one of these. But we discussed why we say No to some things (money, safety, time etc) and she changed her mind.

Rushedruined - I did and she just says silly things like cover me in paint and buy 10 LOL dolls, but I think if we actually planned it she may come up with something more fun.... I hope!

We would definitely need to set ground rules as otherwise, yes, she'd want to buy five rabbits and send me boss a message calling him a stupid face.

School are doing this on Thursday they have to say yes to one thing like taking chocolate in as a snack or wearing pjamers to school etc

Just makes me want to 🙄

There is an article in the Observer about this yesterday - seemed to work well with clear ground rules.

I'll try to link

I did similar one time with DD (Oliver James ‘Love bombing’). I think she was 6. It was really lovely and made a difference with some problems we were having at the time. Would love to do it with DS really.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/oct/17/we-put-our-child-in-charge-for-a-day-it-was-both-terrifying-and-freeing

Ha ha - No!

I tried it with mine and they were overwhelmed by the terrible weight of responsibility and cried

Don't know film but when kids were younger we used to do family day where each of us had to decide what we did all day and no-one could complain. I started it because i wanted to go to natural history museum which is hr + train ride away. DH would organise a walk (before covid when it became all we ever did), kids always chose swimming and a movie.

Stopped when mix of clubs and parties made finding 4 free days a year really hard!

My friend did it, they played mini golf, went to a paint a lot place, watched a movie with popcorn, all very tame really. One sat in the front of the car, that was as daring as it got really!

If we ever talk about it DD wants to do silly things like yours suggested OP, so we've never done it

I’d quite like if my DC said “ Yes” occasionally without arguing. But Im guessing that this isn’t what you meant?

Don't know the film but I'm assuming the adult has to say yes to the child's requests?
Hell no.

Err no, that's a really bad idea!

I guess I just don’t really see the point. If my kids want to go to a theme park/do makeup/other fun thing they could just ask me. I will either say no for a good reason or yes and we’ll have a bit of fun.

I think putting pressure on days like this to be super fun just creates stress. End up traipsing round Alton Towers in pyjamas with makeup done by a 6 year old and feeling stupid.

I’ve done a few of these as a special treat, it turns out I have a very easily impressed six year old. I’ve done three in total and he has enjoyed them.

Just make sure you sound extra enthusiastic when they ask to do something cheap/something where you can just sit on your arse and watch.

The psychology behind it is power.
It's a really dreadful reinforcement of the parent-child (or any other relationship) boundary which takes as its initial premise that the person who says "yes" generally says "no" or has power over the other one.

It's a very unhealthy idea and utter psychobabble claptrap.

The children I nanny for asked me to do this- a firm ‘no’ from me. They wore their mum down though- they loved it but I think she’ll take some time to recover

I think giving children some choice and free reign over days out, what they want for dinner, what they want to wear etc is great. Other than that it’s boundaries and the adult in charge all the way for me!

I couldn’t afford a full ‘yes’ day but did a local travel version. We bought day hopper bus tickets and went to local bus station, they decided which bus we got on, where we got off, etc. We took sandwiches and snacks with us but they had a budget for buying food / tat along the way. They loved having that control.