No birthday present

[2otheleft]

Hi everyone.

So we have been divorced 5 years now and exh (is meant to) have our 2 children EOW for one night ( his choice) on a couple of occasions now he hasent bought birthday presents for either. He doesn't send a card, text or even acknowledge their birthdays. This happened this weekend, he hadent seen our kids for a month has he claimed to have been poorly, DD birthday fell on his weekend and he said he tested positive for Covid ( probably about the 4th time he's claimed to have had it since the pandemic started) so this weekend was his first time seeing her since then, and no presents, at all. She said she wasn't expecting any as he did the same with her brother too....they are 9 and 11.

I feel heartbroken for them, I don't badmouth their dad to them and just don't know what to say....me and ex have no communication really, all on his part, he has remarried since and since then communication has stopped. Very hard when trying to co parent

I think it’s fine to acknowledge their emotional and to say their Dad is unreliable. It’s not bad mouthing him it’s factual and it can help them manage their expectations.

Ah that's sad. My Dad has only bought me a birthday present twice in my whole life and I had a card from him once. My Mum was very good at just empathising if I mentioned it but never bad mouthing him and I'm grateful to her for that. If I was a bit sad she would say things like I'm sorry darling it isn't because of anything you did or said it's just how he is and nothing to do with you etc.