How do you feel at the end of a long day parenting little kids?

[PinkFlamingos18]

I have a 2yr old and a baby and I'm on my own with them for most of the week, husband works long hours. I'm starting to feel teary, anxious, and detached by the end of the day. Even off my food with how stressed I am by teatime. 2yr old is extremely hard work at the moment, they both seem permanently ill, someone always seems to be crying. Baby is sleeping better recently but still wakes up a few times and we're all up for the day at 5.30. The cleaning and tidying and cooking seems endless. I get help from family when I can and husband is good on his days off. 2yr old will be going to nursery for a couple of mornings next year and I'll be back to work part time but I'm wondering if this is more than just the regular stresses of parenting.

I do have a history of anxiety and depression so maybe I need to make a doctors appointment to review things or maybe it's normal to feel like this with two small children?

I'm in almost exactly the same boat. Anti depressants have actually helped me cope. I feel a bit more energised and not so trodden down by the relentless illness and screaming. I would give your gp a call and see what they can do

I think what you’ve described is normal. It’s relentless and exhausting.

My 2 year old goes to nursery 2 days a week and it’s so nice to get a break (even though I work those days) I still find 3 full days with him tough. I could not cope if I was still doing night wake ups and early start. Could you send yours to nursery now for a day or two?

Sounds normal to me, I’m on my own with 4 (no partner at all) and it’s relentless

I’d say it’s not abnormal- one of the reasons I stopped at one child is because I generally felt at the end of my tether come bedtime & knew another child would not be good for my mental health (history of anxiety).
But if your really struggling doesn’t hurt to chat to your gp
young kids are hard work

Normal. But get help if you can afford it.

It's really really exhausting. Mentally and physically.

It's exhausting.

Do seek help though OP.

I have a 3 year old and newborn twins.

It’s hard. However I cope because DH is home at a good time, we share the nights, my 3 year old goes to nursery and we have weekly cleaning. I would definitely struggle in your situation.

Can you afford to buy in some help? Starting nursery for your 2 year old will help massively.

It's incredibly exhausting and there are some really really difficult times (double teething, double illnesses, both clingy).

Coffee and sertraline get me through it

It’s exhausting and relentless but I do wonder if the anxiety you’re feeling is a bit of something else that would be worth talking to the GP about.
I find it helps to try and carve out little bits of time to myself in the day; admittedly using the help of the tv to drink a cup of tea in peace when I get up and after lunch and have a bit of time just to sit

Please see your GP. I was like this when DS was 3.5 and DD was 9m. It's incredibly hard. GP prescribed anti-anxiety meds and it made such a difference.

Also accept any help people offer - if someone can take the older one to a toddler group while the baby naps, you can get an hour's peace to sit down.

Sounds normal apart from the tearfulness - maybe worth speaking to GP based on that, although it depends if that’s your normal when feeling tired and overwhelmed.

I only have one, who is nearly 2yo and at nursery, and by the time bedtime, dinner and tidying up is done I am shattered. Occasionally manage to do a hobby in the evenings but I generally just crash. I think this is just what it’s like until they can be left to their own devices for a few minutes.

I think this is just what it’s like until they can be left to their own devices for a few minutes
A 2 year old can be left for a few minutes. Put them in the cot with some toys for 10 minutes, or a baby pen if you have one. I put my 2 year old in her high chair with some paper and crayons and she sits there for ages while I get things done. Have a break during their nap time.

OP I don't know if what you're feeling is normal, it isn't for me, but we are all different. When you say 2yo is doing nursery "next year" is that January? Because that will make it a lot easier - mine only did preschool a few mornings a week but the extra time was really helpful.

It's normal - kids that age are really hard work and for me, it wasn't fun. I have twins and before they were eligible for childcare help, we couldn't afford nursery. Luckily we have family that helped 1 day a week but I was with them for the other 6 days. Some days I couldn't think I was so tired getting into bed.

I don't know why I feel the need to say this but, I love them with all my heart.

I'm returning to work full time and it's a thousand times easier.

I could have written this. Could you get more childcare going right away? That’s what has saved me tbh, some time to myself has been invaluable and worth every penny. It’s completely exhausting in every way.

I lived in a village so 'had' to visit the shop every day - couldn't stay in all day.

I walked to the shop btw so daily walk every day regardless of weather.

Only coped through having one morning a week of childcare. It's really gruelling and I felt it would never stop.

It is really hard, dont let anyone tell you different!!!!
It's one of the most important 'jobs' in the world but we don't get paid, or have sick days or holiday. It is relentless.
I do try to see someone every day. A friend, family just to take the pressure of an entire day off me so my daughter can get out the house and get some more attention than I can sometimes give (I'm 6 months pregnant with PGP and not sleeping so struggling to give her what she wants, i.e my complete attention!)
Definitely speak to a doctor if you know you have a history with mental health, maybe you are really low and just need a hand getting up.

I was in your shoes OP. It was shit. I really hated every day of that life. However it changes. As soon as your older is a little older it will all be more manageable, and then even fun! Hang in there, head down, one step at a time, try to find a little time to take care of yourself. It will all change ❤️

It is really really really hard. The anxiety and tearfulness might be worth talking to your GP about, although I know that's how I get when I'm exhausted which you must be.

It's so hard being home alone with two that age when their needs are so different. Mine are 3 and 1 now and the only reason we had that gap was because we could afford to leave eldest in nursery!

Thank you everyone. As always with these things it's so helpful to know you're not alone. I'm going to get a GP appointment and ask about maybe going back on beta blockers as I can take them now I've stopped breastfeeding. I wonder if that's contributing too- I remember being a hormonal mess last time I stopped feeding. 2 yr old will go to nursery 2 mornings in January, and both kids will go to my parents for a day so I can work. I find it much much easier to just have one of the kids on their own- it's both of them together that's making it so much worse. I feel like neither's needs are being met and it's just pure survival at the mo. And LOTS of telly 🙃

@DockOTheBay

I think this is just what it’s like until they can be left to their own devices for a few minutes A 2 year old can be left for a few minutes. Put them in the cot with some toys for 10 minutes, or a baby pen if you have one. I put my 2 year old in her high chair with some paper and crayons and she sits there for ages while I get things done. Have a break during their nap time.

OP I don't know if what you're feeling is normal, it isn't for me, but we are all different. When you say 2yo is doing nursery "next year" is that January? Because that will make it a lot easier - mine only did preschool a few mornings a week but the extra time was really helpful.

Not all 2 year olds are the same. No way would mine stay in a playpen. If I tried to put him in his cot when he wasn't tired he'd just scream. He also wouldn't sit and play in a high chair.

My 2 year old could climb out a high chair…..