Breastfeeding and returning to work

[Kstar321]

Hi all,

Just looking for advice really. FTM to a gorgeous 8mo boy. He is EBF, never taken a bottle (despite my v best efforts). I go back to work in Jan, and he’ll be looked after by his grandparents (my in laws). Should I be looking to stop breastfeeding before then, or at least day time feeds?should I try a bottle again? He feeds a bit for comfort and I’m so worried he’s going to be upset when I'm not there. He also only really feeds to sleep or sleeps on the pram or car seat at the moment. Has anyone else been in same situation and do you have any advice?

TIA

As he'll be almost 1 by then there's no need to worry. He will be fine without milk in the day and you can breastfeed him before work in the morning and in the evening. My daughter refused bottles or cups of milk and breastfed for comfort. She was fine with her childminder, she never had milk there but she settled for a cuddle for comfort and ate well.

My little one refused milk in a cup or bottle only breast. I went back to work when she was 10months. I was told by midwife's that as long as she could have some breast milk from me at some point in the day and was eating well (as much as an 8month does!) To not worry about it.

As for advice, when nearer Jan, try and start working a routine so your ds can go long stretches of the day without breastmilk. I'm not saying stop at all but try 3 hrs without milk, then building up to 4hr and more (but only if you want to). I couldn't express and this helped me feel less full while at work but also I knew my lo could go without it.

Thank you, that’s really reassuring! It’s just my anxiety taking over I think!

Good advice thank you. Will definitely start trying to space out the feeds a bit.

By then he should be able to drink milk from a cup, so don’t worry if he won’t take a bottle. Maybe offer a little bit of water in a cup to give him some practice at drinking from a cup.

Btw most countries offer some legal protections to women who wish to pump breast milk at work. I know it’s a daunting subject to discuss with your boss but I do think it’s a good idea to pluck up the courage and ask.

Omg are you me hahah - my little one is 7 months and I have to go back to work in jan when she’s 10months and I’m in exact same position - refuses bottles / fed to see etc I’m so worried - she will be going to nursery.

So watching this post with interest 🙈

Neither of mine took a bottle.

First had a nursing strike at 9 months or so and still refused the bottle. Never got her back to breastfeeding, wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't take formula or cows milk from a cup for a couple of months. Not ideal but we got as much dairy in as we could through food and she was fine. Guzzles cows milk now.

Second I slowly reduced daytime feeds in the run up to me going back. Kept the morning and bedtime feeds for a while as well as overnight. 15 months now and I'm still feeding at bedtime. She drinks milk from a cup pretty well.

It'll be fine, he's going to change a lot in the next couple of months in terms of moving more towards solids.

Thanks for taking the time to respond everyone.

Regarding cup drinking - I’ve started trying various cups with my ds. He can only use an open cup (albeit very messily) but doesn’t seem to know what to do with an traditional sippy cups. Not sure if this is because he’s never taken a bottle so it’s all unfamiliar territory to him?! Any one else have this problem? Don’t get me wrong, he’s going to have to learn to drink from a normal cup eventually but hoped he’d master a sippy cup for a less messy/more portable option!

My DD first started nursery at 8 months and the nursery got her to take a bottle just fine (they also got her to sleep in a cot when previously she’d only either been fed or rocked to sleep, they have ways) - but my company have specific rooms for breastfeeding mothers to express in at every office so I was well supported as far as expressing and sending her in with milk. If I hadn’t had that I would probably have weaned her off beforehand.

But that only lasted two weeks anyway because then lockdown hit, by the time nurseries reopened she was nearly 11 months so a similar age to what your DD will be, and she just skipped the day time feeds at nursery. She’d dropped them a bit over lockdown anyway, and was totally fine by 11 months to just feed morning and evening.
There really was a massive difference in her various needs the two times she started, Jan doesn’t seem that far away but he’ll have grown so much that these may not be concerns by then (and you might have brand new ones!)

There's no need to space out the feeds unless you want to. You could try cups like doidy or kiddly instead of a bottle with expressed milk. You could also feed directly morning and evening/nights only.

Lactation specialists such as Lyndsey Hookway and Kathryn Stagg advocate not to change things that are working today in preparation for the future because so much can be different naturally and what didn't work a month ago might work just fine. Nurseries also have magic skills in getting little ones to take naps and have bottles even if they refuse at home!

Agree with pp, no need to change anything yet (I also follow Kathryn Stagg for all of her advice in a bf twins group). I went back when dd was 12 months. She is now 18 months and still feeds regularly when I’m around (weekend) but is totally fine from 8-6 if not. She’s never had a bottle but will drink water from a doidy cup. It seems daunting but you’ll be ok!

I went back to work when DD was 13 months, she has only ever had milk from me, no bottles.
She dropped to just 2 feeds mostly around then, more at weekends or if
ill and by 15 months was just on 1 feed most days. She’s still on one feed at 25 months but these days she can feed or not and it makes no difference.
At around 12 months they change hugely and you can pretty much feed when you are together and not when you aren’t. Don’t worry.

My little ones used munchkin 360 cups.

I only mentioned that nearer the time of going back to work I actively stretched the time between feeds out, this was so lo was used to the longer stretches without breastmilk and so that my breasts adapted too so they didn't hurt or leak while I was at work. I found the first reassuring and the second practical.

By January he will most likely have dropped down to only a couple of feeds per day. My baby is coming up for 11 months and only feeds twice a day now. At the age of 1 he will be totally fine to go without milk in the day, and you can keep up morning, evening & overnight feeds if it suits you to do so.