Looking for Cosleeping Tips/Advice Please…

[MintGreenLife]

My DS is coming up to 14 weeks. From around 4 weeks he started grunting and straining at night, making him cry out and wake himself up. He was really noisy and tbh I found it very distressing to lay awake next to him listening to him, so DH and I started taking ‘shifts’ to hold him upright while he slept. Now the grunting/straining has mostly stopped, but he won’t sleep in his crib. The moment you place him on his back he wakes, so in the last week we have started cosleeping, as felt this would be much safer than risking falling asleep holding him.

At the moment DH is in the spare room, and I cosleep with DS. Currently we are…

• sleeping in a king size bed
• I’m padding out the gap between the mattress and headboard with rolled up towels

-breastfeeding lying down (both me and DS on our sides)

• Wearing a onesie to sleep in to keep warm
• Sleeping with two pillows under my head, but with arm across the bed above DS to stop him getting near pillows
• tucking the duvet in at the bottom of the bed and at the side with just enough to put my feet under on the bed
• the bed is in the middle of the room

Last night I did fall asleep while feeding him, which surprised me as I’ve not done this before. Also overnight DS seemed to wriggle closer and closer to me until I was right on the edge of the bed and he was still pressed up against me.

What I’d like to ask is…

• is it safe to fall asleep while feeding?
• is it ok for DS to end up so close to me? I’m worried about him turning his face into my fluffy onesie and not being able to breathe, but unless I wear it with pjs under I’m too cold to sleep.
• should the mattress be on the floor instead of on bed frame to limit risk of injury if DS were to roll off the bed?

Any other tips/advice you might have would be much appreciated! X

Anyone?

My first daughter would only sleep in bed with me - she fed whilst I slept, it was great. She was in my bed for at least part of the night till she was 11 months old. My second daughter sleeps in her own bed most of the time but if she wakes after 5am or is unsettled for some reason we co-sleep.

It is obviously safer for them to be in their own crib but needs must and you are right that falling asleep with them in the bed next to you with the bedding safely out of the way is much safer than accidentally falling asleep whilst holding them in a chair. It sounds like you've put some good work into minimising the risks. I'm no expert but my set-up us similar but in a double bed. I make sure if my husband is in the bed then I am between him and the baby as he won't have the same awareness of her. I assume you're both non-smokers and that you don't drink alcohol or take medication with that makes you drowsy before co-sleeping.

If your baby can roll then there is a risk of them falling out. We have a co-sleeper crib attached the my side so she'd just roll into that - that's the only side she goes on if my husband is in bed. The other side has nothing but she doesn't roll yet.

I tuck the duvet in like you then I put it between my legs too. I am starting to get cold so a onesie sounds good!

What does your baby wear? They shouldn't be swaddled as they need free limbs to be able to move away from you if necessary.

My babies rolled onto their backs next to me once the finished feeding.

@AegonT thanks so much for replying ☺️

Yep non-smoker, not touching a drop of alcohol or on any medication. Ah so did they roll themselves onto their backs? Last night I had a blanket rolled up behind his back to keep him on his side, but once I realised I had fallen asleep feeding I put it out of the bed and won’t use it again. Our next to me actually creates more of a hazard than the open side I think! It’s the Tutti Bambini Cozzee - the mattress on it is lower than the mattress on your bed, you line up this lip on the crib with your mattress so it’s flush, but it’s not sturdy and easily moves back and forth, so he could roll onto that causing it to move and create a gap between the bed and the crib. I’m sleeping on the side of the next to me for that reason, so that what I described can’t happen. He’s not rolling yet, so I guess for now it’s ok to have the side he’s on open.

He wears a sleep suit and sleep bag to sleep with his arms out, guessing that’s ok?

I’d rather not be cosleeping to be honest as it does make me nervous, but felt like we didn’t have much choice! X

Co sleeping is not only fine but aksi the norm for the majority of the world's children. I co sleep with mine. In a sleeping bag.i have a duvet pulled up to my hips. Baby cuddles into me, feeds on me and we fall asleep together quite often still attached. I love it.