How many books at bedtime for 2yr old?

[Luckytattie]

At the moment we are doing about 7 or 8 and I feel it's kind of ridiculous but at the same time he is desperate for books and I feel saying no is not great since reading is so good for them.

Would be good to know what others do.

@MalteseBubs I think it's already quite long usually up to at least 25-30 mins..

I actually think the bath wakes him up a bit. I should really do a test to see how long it takes on bath nights Vs non bath nights

We do one story per parent. Our kids are bilingual and we’re doing one parent one language so we try to do a story each to get both languages in there but if DH is out then I won’t read a second and vice versa. I’m all for lots of reading and unlimited stories during the day but the bedtime routine is a well oiled machine so we don’t mess around- last parent reads their story, kiss goodnight and they fall asleep on their own. We have a 4YO and an 8 month old and have been doing it the same way since the eldest was a baby.

It’s up to you what you’re happy with in terms of routine and how long it takes every night but I would at least try to get to a point where your OH can do bedtime before the baby comes or else it’ll be really difficult.

@LakeShoreD sounds like a nice routine there.

Yes but HOW do we do that?!tonight I had to get DH in as I just couldnt get DS into the cot without him crying/standing up and trying to get out. I told DH to come up through the monitor. But my tone was pretty sharp and DS knew I was annoyed and immediately went to DH and he held him to sleep. So I feel bad at the moment even though I wasn't angry at Ds, I was angry as my husband not coming up to help when he would have seen on the monitor I had tried three times. (That's not usually normal he normally goes on first time).

I just don't know how to get DS into cot awake and so he falls asleep even with me there. He has done it about four times when I've got him in happily holding a book or a toy or his little nightlight and then finally he gives it to me and he rolls over but that is once in a blue moon.

Anything from 1 to 4 depending on tiredness levels of either or both of us.

Minimum 1, maximum 4 and that would be on a very rare night where we'd got ready for bed exceptionally quickly.

I've got a 10mo who's cuddled to sleep so the eldest needs to get through stories and into bed asap so I can deal with his sister (and then tidy up the wreckage of my house).

We’ve always done 3, I think it helps to have a routine.

I'd prefer to be in bed and asleep but I try to make the best of it.

Honestly it’s mostly sucking based comfort! 8 month old has a dummy and we can’t get the 4YO to stop sucking her thumb. Nothing is perfect!

Don’t worry about a sharp tone, we’ve all been there, and great news that your DH was able to take over tonight. If it’s not all on you to do bedtime and you’re both happy with holding him then it’s not necessarily a problem. If you do decide that you want help with getting him to sleep independently then maybe try the sleep board as there are some really knowledge posters on here! Good luck.

Thank you. Yes Ds always refused a dummy and not interested in a comforter...that's me lol guess will see how it goes when baby comes.

Could be a whole new can of worms, but could you try transitioning to a toddler bed? You obviously don’t want to do that too close to the north of your next LO in case he relates the move to the baby, would make it loads harder.
But my LO was a nightmare having to be cuddled to sleep and then put in the cot, it would often take more than one attempt. So when they were 15 months we took the sides off their cot and made it a cot bed. They’re now at the stage (just over 2) where they can fall asleep on their own without a cuddle. When I do need to cuddle though the bed is low enough to the ground that I can cuddle off the bed without bars in the way.
I know it doesn’t answer your original question, but could help with settling him down.
Mine has about 3-5 books per night, about 15 mins. Plus lots of books during the day!

*Birth! Not north. Weird autocorrect

We did two at that age for first DC. Now they get one each- I love that they love books but how much of it is just trying to eke out bedtime?!
One rule I did make for myself though was that I would try to never say no to reading if they bought me a book in the day and asked to read it together. Not that they’ve realised- but if it’s a book I won’t fob them off. If it’s “pretend to be a tiger” I absolutely will!

Err, one read it, say ‘the end’ and that signals time for sleep. Never occurred to me to keep going with more.

@Sarahisaduck we were actually discussing this the other day. He can't actually lift himself out the cot and he doesn't really try to escape if he's upset. He just lifts one foot up on a pathetic wee attempt and then I pick him up.
But I did think at least Id be right beside him and can hold his hand and he can be in his bed when we do the books.
But I'm also expecting an absolute nightmare of him getting out of it a million times.
Do I have the energy for that right now? Om not sure but I guess it'll get worse when baby comes.

@Elpheba that is the question. I think he definitely does love the books but he definitely knows he will get more time out of bed to do the book. He does it with food too. Says he is hungry and so DS and DH are up and down the stairs a few times to get food and then he does his books.
Although it's not always and he does actually eat the blooming food.
Ugh it's all a shambles!

I have nearly 2 year old twins and we do between 2-4 books at bedtime (What the Ladybird Heard or similar length). I think I would draw the line at 4 max!

My husband and I have always alternated bedtime (even when bf, after about 6 months I would feed and then hand babies to him on 'his' night). Something to consider for baby 2?

In your current situation, can you try gradual retreat? So at first you put him in the cot after stories, turn lights off, but stay with him and pat/ stroke. If he gets up, lay him gently back down and repeat 'it's bedtime" or similar phrase. Then gradually reduce the amount of stroking etc until you are just sitting by the cot. Then move away a little at a time. With my elder son, we told him we would sit on a special sleepy cushion (a bright cushion from his room) which we then moved slowly away from his bed till it was outside the door. This was good as he came to understand that's where we were, and so if he knew where the cushion was, he knew we were nearby.

Strongly advise making some progress on this before the new baby comes!

3 or 4. We always ask him to choose them before we start, and before the last one make sure we say very clearly that after this one it's sleep time. Tonight he wanted another one but I said no and left the room. We leave his bedroom door and the light outside on, so he read to himself a bit before going off to sleep.

[quote Luckytattie]@Sarahisaduck we were actually discussing this the other day. He can't actually lift himself out the cot and he doesn't really try to escape if he's upset. He just lifts one foot up on a pathetic wee attempt and then I pick him up.
But I did think at least Id be right beside him and can hold his hand and he can be in his bed when we do the books.
But I'm also expecting an absolute nightmare of him getting out of it a million times.
Do I have the energy for that right now? Om not sure but I guess it'll get worse when baby comes.[/quote]
@Luckytattie
You know him best so definitely think about it. Don’t do it if you have reservations.
My LO was definitely ready and hated even being put in the cot in the daytime, cried before I even had put them in. Also slept pretty badly at night until we changed to a bed and their sleep has gone from strength to strength.
It’s not really one of those things you can try either annoyingly, it’s a bit all or nothing!

I opted for a choice each at bed time and I am often persuadable to an extra one. It’s a special time of day and it’s good for her to feel like she’s had a win, why push more and spoil it?
It’s all about helping them wind down and be ready to sleep so if they do seem still quite alert reading another book, increasingly slowly while they sit still and cuddle is a good foundation for falling asleep when you do leave.

When she was about 3 and pretending to be scared of the dark to get me to stay longer it occurred to me to say ‘if you just need a bit more cuddle time you can say that to me you know. You don’t have to make excuses to get me to stay’

Oh! 💡

She did and the next few nights I did lay with her for a short while but once she knew she could have as much as she needed it felt easy to say she was done and she started sending me off 😮

We have rarely had a difficult bedtime since and she is 9 now

Op, in the most loving and supportive way possible I get the strong feeling from your posts that you need to learn how to make no mean no before you have a child who speaks to you terribly

Cio with newborns is not ok but there doesn’t come a stage in every childs development where they have to learn they can’t scream to get what they want from you

I would urge you to take it night about with your husband and talk through the difficulties without accusations

This shit is hard!

You’re not weak for finding it difficult it is phenomenally difficult to raise young children while experiencing sleep deprivation!

I always do one only, if i make it variable or multiple he thinks he has a choice and i don't want him to be distracted trying to persuade me to read another.
I do pick out two for him to choose from, i present them both to him and he often flicks through one while I'm closing the curtains etc. Then i put the reject away before reading the chosen one.
Then once the book is over i say*"the end, night night ds" and then walk out.
It wasn't easy to get to that point but i realised that first i need to have and know my own boundaries, and then i have to respect my own boundaries, then the rest should follow within a few very tough days. And when i say tough i mean i doubted myself constantly, but now i realise he is brilliant at getting to sleep due to no battling, so i guess everyone is a winner even though i felt very harsh at the time.
Good luck!

Only one, but we often read quite a few downstairs in the 15/30 mins or so before their bed time, and we often read stories at other points in the day. However it's strictly only one bedtime story (of her choice) regardless of length. She's good enough at stalling as it is!

Never kept track. Some nights none, she’s either too busy pissing about or wants to go straight to sleep (we’ve just cut the nap), some nights loads. I tend to cut it off based on the time/pissing about levels.

If she’s desperate for books I’ll let her just sit and “read” to herself, or take one into the cot. Also recently started “you can have one more if you’re lying down” and reading while she was in the cot rather than sitting on my lap, and that’s led to her just falling asleep with stories rather than needing cuddles to sleep.

We do 2 books, and a very clear and consistent wind down routine. Whole thing takes 15 minutes and he knows exactly what to expect next so he doesn’t try to delay with asking for more books, water etc.

1 book. Sometimes we read it two or three times though!