Anyone else got a continuum baby or considering it?

[bealcain]

my ds2 is a continuum baby and wondered what other peoples experience is of it and if you'd do it again, regret not doing it with others?

Never heard of it - what is it?

a type of parenting style, it's extreme attachemtn parenting basically, from the continumm concept, a book written by jean Liedloff after living with the Yequana people in the deep south american jungle in venezuala.

Is it possible the way our society is set up?

I think it is very difficult in our society. I haven't read the book but from what I gather it is pretty close to how I am doing things. I am a sahm with lots of family and friends (tribe) around and I sit for hours on the computer breastfeeding and cuddling and ignoring the housework. Co sleeping happily.
It's a big commitment but I do have a very secure, easy going and happy baby and I find the idea of it suits me. I don't get much break though and I'm surpressing all the things I want to do for myself for now because I know this stage will not last.

I totally accept that I can have it all but not all at the same time...

And just to add, this is my fourth baby and I have tried other ways with the children such as the baby whisperer etc but in hindsight and with experience think the continuum method is the one for me.

RRN - glad to know i;m not the only one. do you sling aswell?

I used the sling a bit but I usually have him on my hip. I've got arms like a trucker He's 9 months now and a big heavy boy. I have a back carrier that I must get going with now. When I tried him in that he loved it!

I was heavily influenced by the continuum concept when pregnant with my first child almost 19 years ago and didn't stop breastfeeding until she was 2 - by the third child (8 years ago) I was quite keen on routine, cots and formula milk after about 5 months. I used that carrier (wilkinette?) with implausibly long straps. Follow your instincts even if they change over time, they won't let you down.

Almost, kind of. I started out just being vaguely attachment parenty but still aiming for sleep in moses basket, go in buggy etc etc. HAH! my DS had other ideas. Was slinging exclusively by 4 months. Best thing I ever did was junking the idea of the buggy or of "putting baby down for a nap." Second 6 months was far more continuum-esque than the first. He is still co-sleeping and breastfed at 2.1 We hardly sling now because he walks everywhere, which is fabulous.

I regret the time I wasted trying to do things "normally" but it didn't amount to that long really.

No real regrets about continuum style practices, though I do wish I could occasionally get a break from putting him to bed or breastfeeding all night long. Why can't men breastfeed?

VeVuca - did you see any noticable difference between your continuum children and your not?

mrsg - good on u, i cant wait to have a commplete Cm baby this time. started slinging ds2 at 3months and ever since he's never been in a pushchair. ds1 was a tracey hogg - baby whisperer baby and he loves being worn every where now.

I wish I'd done it earlier. The first ten weeks were spent asking myself:

"Why won't he settle in his pram?"
"Why can't I ever put him down?"
"Why won't he let me put him back down after a night feed?"
"Why won't he let me bath him?"
"Why will he rarely take a dummy?"

I got a sling, carried him around everywhere, co-slept, brought him into the bath with me, fed for comfort as well as nutrition and the like and my life was actually a lot easier. My grizzly nightmare baby became a spirited cheery fellow almost overnight!

Dh was very at first. He's really come round to it though in a big way. He absolutely loves carrying ds in the sling now. So much so that I lent my ring sling to my mate over the weekend and dh was actually quite cross as he loves the ring sling!

Rosy pmsl at "sit for hours on the computer breastfeeding". Me too!

Oh, and although I have to return to work in January, mil is taking him and she loves babywearing after I gave her her own sling!

Have never heard of it until now. Sounds lovely, but only suited to SAHMs?

Well, it's worked for me while I've been on maternity leave. Now I have to return to work I just leave my baby with another "tribe" member (mil) while I work during the day, she carries him around constantly, and then when I return continue with the rest of tcc stuff.

You only have constant contact with them until they can crawl anyway, about six to nine months.

Of course reading the book the ideal would be taking the baby to work with you as the Yequana (the tribe on whom the book is based) do, on their hips or backs, but I think I might have a few problems persuading employers of this!

tbh I'd say this was more attachment parenting than the continum concept. They are very similar but I thought the continum concept emphasised the need for an active , physical lifestyle as that way the babay/child is close to you but still is involved in all aspects of life.

I think the idea is that if babies are carried and involved in a community based lifestyle they are more likely to be content and less likely to cry.

I think is is pretty difficult to practise this completely because the idea comes from societies that live in close communities where babies and toddlers are carried all the time (not necessarily by their parents, though of course their mother would do a lot of it) 'as part of a normal active life' .
The last bit being the key phrase.

Our lifestyle makkes true continum parenting almost impossible but you certainly can try to aim for this and it sounds like this is working well for you.

As others have said go with your instincts and you generally can't go wrong

lol, i've got the updated edition and she's written in there some eltters she's received about them allowing continuum babies to work in their office with mums as they're so good!

LAG - of course an SAHM would be the ideal, but if you can find a carer willign to do it then that's great (it;s always wise to pick someone to look after your child that has the same outlook as you anyway, so that they can enforce it properly)

even if you do work it would be really beneficial to carry your child as much as possible whilst with them and co-sleep so that they atill get that closeness with you.

Hi beal! Thanks for kind words on siftw

My ds is 4 months and has insisted on AP from the start - not as extreme as cc but I think he def knows what he wants!

i was hoping to do it, but spent nearly 3 weeks in hospital when dd was 3 weeks old.

lisa

There aren't that many differences between AP and TCC, I think it's more of a mindset tbh. Both include babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and generally being close to the baby.

However AP tends to be a bit more baby-centred, and TCC tends to be a bit more parent-centred, if I've read them both right.

In TCC you do carry the baby around with you but it's while you get on with the rest of your life, so that the baby is almost a satellite to the mother. You'd get on with your housework with the baby in a sling but not be too fussed about having to interact constantly with the baby.

Jean Leidoff does come up with some ways to make TCC work in modern life at the end of the book. She suggests you get together with a like-minded friend and clean and tidy each other's houses, for example. Of course in modern life we're never going to be quite as active as the Yequana but we can do housework, cook, walk the dogs, go shopping (and walk rather than take the car) all with the baby watching quietly from the comfort of a sing or baby carrier.

I think as with all of these things the "mantra" is "take what you need, and leave the rest."

Sorry Xposts with loads of people!

moss - thats a good philiosophy

anyone else fancy moving near eachother and being that close community needed for CC to work correctly? lol seriuosly wouldn't that be great though?!

I visit Pakistan a bit and people are great at living in community there and sharing childcare/cooking etc. Of course it can get claustrophobic with everyone up to their neck in your business but I do think it is a more natural, healthy way to live.
I wonder are we moving towards community living again as a society? Hope so (idealist that I am )

Rosy I wish... but I'm not too sure. Maybe a bit ... I know all my neighbours and we share celebrations like Bonfire Night and New Year's Eve etc, but I remember when I lived in London for a while I would get on absolutely packed trains... where everyone was silent! So maybe it depends on where you live to some extent too?

i really dont think we are, people are too scared of other people these days. however i've amde really good friends with 2 people in ym street and chat daily, coffee and stuff, but wouldn't say we're heading towards a community culture.