I feel like a failure

[Beenz523]

I feel like I'm failing my little one. He's 7 months old, doesn't roll or crawl and wakes frequently through the night. I know every child is different but my friend's baby of the same age is already nearly walking!

I feel so low because I feel like I'm failing him. What am I doing wrong?!

And maybe look into what the appropriate age ranges are for developmental behaviours - 7 months and walking is VERY unusual. It's an outlier, not the norm in any way. You can get the sheets the HVs use to track development online - they're called Ages and Stages, and that will give you an idea of what kind of things are 'normal for certain ages. You'll see the sheets have a massive range of things that are all normal.

@KirstenBlest

What am I doing wrong?! Comparing your parenting, and your child to someone else's.

You are probably doing your best and are the best mum your baby could ever have.

Give yourself a break. He's only tiny. He'll be crawling in no time

Absolutely this!

I feel your pain as my dc was the last out of our antenatal gang to do almost everything. He finally walked at 17 months. I was so stressed but then with 2nd dc I realised actually that they all develop in their own way (and I had no antenatal friends to compare to 😂 made for a much happier mum and baby)

Comparison is the thief of joy. Dial back on social media, accept that people might be embroidering the truth slightly and just make the most of this very short period of life!

It's hard not to compare the physical ability and milestones at that age, but honestly, don't. Your little one will get there all in good time.
My friends baby was quicker to meet all physical milestones, but as they got older my DDs strengths really started to show. She's a great puzzler, problem solver, fantastic concentration span to see through a task. My friends daughter was the complete opposite.
They all have strengths, but they all catch up in the end. Seems such a big thing now, but by the time your little one is off you'll soon forget you ever cared.

Oh, and my oldest woke hourly until 13 months. My youngest is 11 months and wakes hourly in the night. Totally normal (and exhausting)!

Your post has brought back how completely stressed I was that dc could not sit up. Everyone else’s babies were sitting up there nicely at rhymetime class but nope, not mine 😂 I can laugh now but it seemed all encompassing at the time.

He sits fine now aged 4 - when I can get him to sit still! He’s miles ahead of our antenatal mates with reading, writing and number, hitting all his milestones on our last hv review, and is such a sweet little boy ❤️

Trust me. You don’t want a walking 7 month old 😱😂 No thank you!

With your first, you are desperate for them to do the next thing ASAP. DD1 didn’t crawl until 11 months & I used to worry. But she eventually did & then walked at 13 months. And then I realised I shouldn’t have wished the time away as once they move, life is far more exhausting!

With DD2, I was desperate for her just stay still & not move as it’s chaos once they move & are into everything 😂 obviously DD2 crawled at 5 months & walked at 10 months 🙈 and it was SUCH hard work!

You are a wonderful mum. Just enjoy your baby for all they are at this moment in time. They grow up so quickly, I’d do anything for a snuggle with the 7 month old version of my girls ❤️

You are not doing anything wrong! They all do things at different ages. Babies don't read the baby books and go ooop I better start walking now! Tbh you don't want an early walker - so many hazards and accidents! Also IME they tend to choose walking or talking - my DD was an early walker but still doesn't talk much. Maybe your LO will be an awesome talker

You’re not doing anything wrong. He’s still comfortably within the normal range for those activities, and frequent night waking at 7 months old is normal.

Stop worrying! He will get there in his own time.

No one wants a walking 7mo. Your poor friend.

There's a huge range for development and you're comfortably in it. I've got two, both raised the same and they're completely different - DS was rolling the full length of our living room at 4mo, DD didn't move at all till 7mo and was affectionately referred to as "potato" during that time.

Op comparison is the thief of joy. Please stop it now (said with love) for your child’s welfare too, it will make them feel like a failure if you carry on this comparison into childhood.

Rolling is a complex skill and if you’re child hates tummy time like mine did, they are more likely to get there a bit later. It’s not a concern. My daughter sat at 6 months, rolled onto tummy at 7.5/8, army man crawled at 9, proper crawled at 11 months and walked at 14. All perfectly normal and well within the normal range.

Crawling isn’t even a milestone, movement is and as long as your child shows signs of movement by 1, they are fine.