My HV phoned me this morning

[milliec]

Message withdrawn

Completely bonkers - make a complaint. My hv is lovely and really doesn't expect to see us - she has never called but is hppy to pop and see us if I want her to. We've got our 8 month check this week and am only going to get my free books . Can't see any reason for her to ever call me though.

I made a complaint about our practise nurse when ds3 was born as she said I should consider changing his name before getting him registered Bitch.

it seems to me that with your first baby they are on your case! hv came around everyday after dd1 was born up to 10 days later. with dd2 i took her to get weighed and that was it.... so far!

Whilst that HV sounds completely bonkers, and lacks some basic communication skills and up-to-date knowledge, I do feel sorry for HVs. They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

If they don't chase up children they never see/have missed assessments/been to A&E, or miss vaccinations then they can be seen as neglectful in their professional duty.

If they do chase them up they are seen as interfering busybodies.

Can I just add for the HVs that my daughter might well have been dead if it hadn't been for those early weighing visits. I was too inexperienced to realise that she was not strong enough to feed properly. I thought if she was alert part of the time and wetting her nappies and I fed her every 4 hours, that would be good enough. By the time they got her into hospital she was a little skeleton; it happened so quickly and I didn't know what to do. My HV was a tower of strength and unlike me she had the experience to know that there was something unusual about my dd. 11 years later we know that she had a little-known genetic condition which affected her ability to feed (she is in hospital as I type this).
My HV didn't know about this condition (it took 8 years for the doctors to diagnose!), she just had the experience to know that something wasn't right. She also helped me to get in touch with a mums group, when she saw I was getting depressed and overwhelmed.
After the first 6 months I saw her infrequently, one standard check up at 18 months and another one at 3 yrs- both very useful in retrospect as she picked up on the fact that there was a problem with her legs.
I often wish I'd bump into her- I'd like to tell her that she was right all those years ago and that I am grateful.

lovely post Cory glad you dd is ok.
For the record the HV's and GP's round where we are, are all great, fantastic health service, wish the whole nhs was like it, we totally lucked out when we moved here

Tori32 said, 'one of the first rules as such is the need to be suspicious/ cautious when children are not brought for checks'.

Er no. Under the Hill (??) report, HVs do not have to see every family, allowing them to channle their energies to families who need them most.

I stay up in scotland and when i asked if my daughter would be see when she was 18 months they said only for injections she is now 21 months nad HV has not been in touch i asked if she would be seen when she is 2 and they said only if i thought there was anything wrong

My HV with DD did it once. She didnt do it again

i like the HV thing round here, after the 6 weeks mark they only return at 4 months (for a weaning talk ) and then pretty much say 'we think you're doing okay, keep it up' and off they go. their motive is to help the people that need it and keep away from those who don't. we catch up at jags etc, so they'd get a sense if anything was up.

I haven't seen mine for a year or so.

At one point I had 2 under 2. I move to a new place and went to see the HV. It was winter and when I undressed the baby he spent a penny all over his clothes. I did't have a change of clothes with me and I was told off in a bad way. The HV started to speak to me as if she was the police and I the suspect (a retarded suspect). I had his snowsuit, so it was not big deal.

Another time when a HV was writing down my details, I gave my address and she seemed surprised that I live in that nice street, then she asked what kind of acommodation it was, a flat of course she thought, she wanted to know how many bedrooms, 1 or 2? When I answered that it was a 3 bedrooms house, she was taken aback. I got the impression that she didn't believe me (my clothes must be really faded), because then she said she couldn't give me a red book for the new baby, she had to order it. Next time I went I saw someone else who gave me the book straightaway.

Of course I decided not to go back again. But since we make regular trips to the emergency department (fever, funny spots...) one HV called to check if kids were ok. That is good, I thanked her. Then one day she came unannounced. It was midday and kids were on their pijamas, damn it! Thanks God, she found them well fed, healthy and happy.

Still I prefer that HVs exist, they could save some child's life.

I used to go to a regular clinic to get dd weighed and chat to the HV's for advice, but haven't been back since dd was weighed at about 18mths (over a year ago) because when I saw her then, in front of a waiting room full of people she kept going on about how we should have another baby for DD to play with, I said we weren't planning to, dd has lots of friends, goes to groups, sees her cousins and she still said we should and dd needed another child to play with - I was so angry I haven't been back, although I haven't been contacted either - dd had a development check at about 9mths, nothing since then. I didn't want to go into details about why we are only having 1 child in front of so many people anyway, not that its any of her business anyway! I will go back if they call us in for a routine check though, but I'll try and see the other HV who is slightly better.