Pick up times from childminder nightmare

[gemloving]

Hello! Maybe someone on here can offer some advice. I pick up my son from the childminder and I am the first there but he doesn't want to leave (he'll be 3 in January), so he is all dressed and ready but he wants to play in their front garden which is fine for a while but then all the other children have left and I end up carrying him to the car whilst he is crying his eyes out (all the gentle techniques have been exhausted by then and haven't worked), he then cries all the way home. Once we get home, he's fine.

He's really excited to see me or my husband but to make the transition from there to home seems to be such a nightmare for him.

Has anyone had this? Any idea what to do?

It's not like he doesn't like being at home, sometimes he tells us in the mornings that he doesn't want to go but it's not as bad. Once we're home it's all good again, the tears stop straight away, we go in, undress, put everything where it belongs & then play a bit more and at some point it's bath time and the bedtime routine starts.

Transitions are really hard for them. Mine tries to stay at nursery sometimes, I have to pick him and and carry him out.

Can you have a favourite toy in the car that he'd be excited to play with?

Don’t let him play in the garden, just take him home
Or collect him later

@insancerre

Don’t let him play in the garden, just take him home Or collect him later

This.

@insancerre @Shmithecat2 you're probably right. I always tried to avoid the scene he's causing as I'm almost embarrassed but it is what it is.

Scoop him up and get him in the car.
All the fannying about just prolongs the transition. DS was the same, nice cheery goodbye to the CM and swiftly in the car.

@whatswithtodaytoday it won't make a difference unless he gets chocolate but he's not getting that every day 🤣

@MonkeyPuddle that's exactly what I've been doing: fannying about 🤣

I'll be brave tomorrow. I told them already!

[quote gemloving]**@insancerre* @Shmithecat2* you're probably right. I always tried to avoid the scene he's causing as I'm almost embarrassed but it is what it is. [/quote]
An experienced childminder will have seen it all, don’t be phased!

💪 youve got this!

Try a Very Special Car Only toy that lives in the pocket of his seat.
Think of something he'll be able to do though, I'd strongly advise against craft based stuff or toys with parts that can be lost.
(Guess who had to strip the car back to the fucking chassis looking for a rubber unicorn horn from some shite toy )

Your childminder probably doesn't want you playing in her front garden wither, she'd rather you just left swiftly and let her get in with her evening.

Just pick him up and bring him home! How long are you spending waiting around? How many other handovers is the childminding doing with you hanging round outside?

A child I mind used to do this pushing the boundaries, my front garden slopes and if the grass is damp it's dangerous. Numerous times I've had to intervene and tell the child firmly that they are not to play on the grass as I really do not want to have to patch them up if they fall. Once this issue was sorted the child would then refuse to get in the car often running back into my garden followed by a frazzled parent so again I intervened and helped the child into the car. Ask your minder if she can help as he will behave differently for her, don't feel embarrassed to ask for help we've seen it all

Have you tried having a snack and drink ready in the car? Mine are always hungry at pick up time, so I have something like fruit or crackers and cheese ready in the car.

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat you're probably right. Tomorrow 💪🏻

@Anotherdayanotherdollar i know, I know. It'll change as of tomorrow.

@glitterelf thank you. Good idea xx

My DS used to be a bit like this, he wants to stand and chat and gets quite cross when it's time to go. Agree with PPs about having something in the car he really likes.

It's really normal though, it's the transition from one thing to the next they find so hard.

Try getting him to wave and say goodbye to everything I.e

“You’ve had a great day playing here, you really don’t want to leave, but it’s home time now. Say bye bye ‘childminder’, bye bye house, bye bye garden etc etc”

I did it and it was all good! No tears!!!! The prolonging probably made everything worse or I got lucky. Childminder said: well done (I told them before what is going to happen) xxx

That’s a great update @gemloving

Yay!

That's fab!