My germ phobia is making parenting tough

[happyviolet]

So I'm a new mum to a 10 week old, and although I've had therapy in the past for this - I've got a terrible germ phobia.

Today we went to a baby class that was held at a softplay centre, and I was sitting with the other mums afterwards, just thinking about the day that she can crawl/ will be old enough to want to go and play there and how I'm going to cope with it.

I'm terrified mainly of threadworm eggs being on things (which I know are common with kids) and I'm not great with anything public bathroom/toilet related.

I know I've still got time to get a grip on this before she's older, but I'm already on antidepressants and have had CBT to tackle it, and NOTHING WORKS!

Any other germphobic mums out there who have advise?

Didn't the CBT help at all @happyviolet?

No advice, but wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I’ve had CBT too and it hasn’t made an ounce of a difference. I’m on antidepressants too and I do feel like they take the edge off but I live in constant fear and I know how you feel. It’s awful. I just try and take each day as it comes. My boss in one of my first jobs used to tell me forearmed is forewarned, so I always try and have a mental plan for anything that might ‘go wrong’ and it helps me get through things. Sending you good thoughts I think it’s hard to relate if you’ve never been through it. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone

Yes, I have undiagnosed OCD (therapist doesn’t diagnose conditions but she was pretty sure and my scores were quite high) I’ve had 2 lots of CBT. First round helped but I relapsed quite quickly. Second go really helped to consolidate things for me. I found tackling the smaller things first helped, giving myself a break when I did give in to things especially if I’d ‘fought’ lots that day. It was only when DD got older that I was ready for CBT when she started to pick up on things I was doing - like opening doors with a towel so I didn’t have to touch it. That really helped me trump some of the urges. They more I see things are ok when I don’t give in to an urge to clean/keep her from germs , the easier it is. It creeps back, I do slip up and I have to constantly keep it in check but generally things are much better. Public toilets are difficult for me too, hate sanitary bins!

Yes, I’ve got OCD and felt similarly. It got easier as time went on and I actually had to face the things I was worrying about. The reality is always less scary than waiting for it to happen.

My kids has had threadworms a few times, and I’ve dealt with it better each time.

Fwiw I didn’t get much out of CBT either, but there are other therapy options you can try. You should get priority for NHS treatment as you’re post-partum.

Similar to you. I have a 3 year old and avoid so many social situations because of it so its really positive you're even going to them now with your newborn. I barely left the house when mine was newborn and still struggle now. You're not alone and don't be hard on yourself. Just do what you can and carry on with the cbt and therapy it may help in the future x

Would it help at all to do some reading about the necessity of them encountering germs in childhood etc (the 'too clean' theory for childhood leukemia is quite well accepted now, for instance)? I don't want to encourage you to replace one fear with another, but it might be helpful to see that total cleanliness isn't just an impossible ideal, it's actually not the right thing to strive for? I've tried to do something similar with my own anxiety but mine isn't focused on hygiene so apologies if this isn't helpful.