Coping with the physical relentlessness of parenting?

[Theskyisorange]

Wondering if this is just me.

I am quite a resilient person when it comes to dealing with crying/ tantrums and so on. As my first little girl was a high needs baby.

Fast forward 3 years, I have twins and a 3 year old.

What I don’t seem to be coping well with is the physical challenge of taking care of both babies. I feel like you need to be some kind of Olympic athlete.

I have no choice but to leave them to cry sometimes as I can’t be dealing with rocking/ walking around with them like I did the first. One has pretty bad colic and the sling is the only thing that calms him, but I find this exhausting so sometimes just have to leave him.

I’m 3 months on from my c section, my body feels about 100 years old. Constantly having to pick them up/ change nappies, get up from the sofa/ floor/ up and down the stairs all the time and never being able to properly rest.

It’s going to get worse too. Anyone else find the physical side of things challenging?

I don’t know what I can do here, except build up my fitness, but I have no time to exercise and feel unable to anyway!

Yes, I relate. And at 3 months pp your body remains very weak, you likely have very poor core strength. It just takes time as you’ll know from first time. I couldn’t really use a sling for long as it hurt my back so much. I’d ask for a physio referral if you can?

Thanks @Heruka my consultant referred me to physio, but all she really says is I need to take it easy and has given me some gentle exercises..

But this morning I’ve had one twin in the sling, my upset 3 year old on my hip, whilst I sway the pram trying to get other twin to sleep!

This is the reason I wish I had had my kids at 20 (I had them at 26 and 27) The physicality of children is something I never fully considered and even now they are older they need to be entertained and exercised and my body aches and clicks like it has never done before.

Yes it’s hard that there’s no quick fix and you are in such a relentless phase altogether, must be such hard work. Do you have any help around, even just someone to help with one baby a few times a week? Is your 3yr old in nursery yet? This is where I admire cultures who practice having all the women in the family gather round for the first week or so to help mum recover - so female-centric and necessary. But in the absence of that have a hug

I meant 6 weeks or so!

I had two DDs 16 months apart and was widowed before the younger reached her first birthday. Yes, there are days when you feel you are never off your knees at the changing mat, and it is bloody tiring.
But I think you are making a rod for your own back with all this carrying them about in a sling/on your hip.
I gave mine dummies from the start and let them self settle in their cot/playpen when I needed a break. I did walk the floor with them at night if they were teething, but I needed to keep my strength up for my work as a hospital doctor. I was part time when they were babies, and I really valued the days away from them, among adults in the operating theatre. It helped to keep me sane and give me a rest.

@CaMePlaitPas me too! And I’m only 30! No one really talks about it do they. I mean, it’s always recommended to lose weight etc. for pregnancy but the actual physical stuff after is much worse.

@Heruka yep agree! I moved away from family
Unfortunately. I do have people that come to stay. But to be honest.. I find it harder than being alone. As very few people can actually take care of twins. So when I get visitors they just hold one baby, and ask a million questions. Then i end up doing it all anyway. As I feel like I have to make them stop crying when others are around. Then when they leave the babies are more clingy/ upset as I can’t cuddle them all day!

@Babdoc that must have been so hard. totally agree with the self settling! We do formula and dummies, white noise, and cot naps where possible. I am quite sad about it as I wanted to be a sling wearing breastfeeding cuddly parent but can’t.

It’s only days where they are really both screaming that I throw in the towel and sling/ pram etc. It’s a vicious cycle because the most overtired they get the worse they sleep.

No advice from me but just saying that I hear you!

I’m in my late 30s & have one little boy who is almost 5 months old, I also had a c section & can’t imagine how you are managing with twin babies & a toddler, I feel about a million years old at the moment & am sure I get up out of bed slower & more dramatically than my elderly parents currently do 😂😂

I really never considering the physicality of having a baby, looking back I feel silly that I didn’t but it doesn’t seem to be anything anyone talks about, or maybe they are just all fitter/ younger than me!