Becoming a mum.

[Butterfliess]

Hi everyone,

Looking for support/advice

I’m not sure if I am posting this in the right section but hopefully I will get some support and answers.

A bit of background, I recently married and both myself and my partner desperately want to begin our journey starting a family, hopefully next year some time.
I however am very concerned, I suffered greatly with an eating disorder into my early 20s. I fought hard for my recovery for many reasons, one of which was to be able to have children. I’m now 29, and although it’s been a difficult journey am super proud to be at this point. I do suffer with anxiety at times, mainly overthinking and worrying which I get support and help for anxiety through private therapy. I will always reach out when I need to as I have learnt this over the years.
My fear is that as soon as I become pregnant, my midwife will jump on my mental health and this will or could result in a social services referral. This frightens me a lot, im very aware of my past, I loved it. However I know this will not stop me being an amazing mom, it’s something I have always wanted. I don’t want to be judged because I struggled, the thought of it scares me so much that it’s holding us back from living and moving forward.
Will my mental health past and the fact I struggle with anxiety be a reason for the midwife to question my ability? I read so many horror stories and it’s awful.
My therapist agrees that I’m capable of being a great mum, she’s behind me all the way. I just hear so much of midwives jumping on you soon as you say your past struggles. Also if you have any form of mental health at present.
Can anyone offer advice? I would really appreciate. ☺️

I saw a post natal mental health team after I had DD1 for PTSD systems and when I had DD2 I had to repeatedly request to be referred again. There was never any suggestion of a ss referral. There is nothing in your post to suggest you would be referred to ss.

Correction

"very aware of my past, I loved it."
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Should not said I loved it
*

@Fallagain

I think it worries me because my mental health has always been very well documented. I went for treatment for my eating disorder and have always been in contact with doctors throughout for bloods weights and medication ect. I also was once under cmht so I know that my journey had always been know to professionals. It does scare me that this will all come down on me soon as I get pregnant.

I really hope that it's not the case and that I can be given the same chance as anyone to be a mother. My mental health past or present does not define me. I am now a healthy weight and have been for several years. That is my past yes I still struggle with anxiety but I think a lot of people do.
I don't want to hold me any my partner back from having the family we deserve because of fears. You really do read so many horror stories of Ss taking kids or getting involved because of mental health that it's hard not to worry.

None of that is an indication that you would be an incompetent mother, so no, ss will certainly not be informed. There's nothing to inform them of! You can access perinatal mental health services straight after the birth for support if you're struggling, and they will never contact ss unless there's abuse or neglect.

@Butterfliess I suffered with depression and anxiety as a teen, lots of mental health problems in my family also. Was on meds until I was 19. Had my first at 20 then 23 and now 26, when you fall pregnant you have a booking in appointment were they ask lots of questions and go through medical history! One of those being mental health.

So they will ask lots of questions about your recovery and the support that you have in place, then tell you that you can see a specialist midwife that can help if need be, then every time they see you they will ask about it to make sure you are still getting support!

Honestly as long as you always engage and already have support in place you have nothing to worry about ☺️